Never Trust
by Callie Elizabeth
Summary: Logan returns to the mansion to find that the X-Men had abandoned a teammate. Remy finds himself in a situation he may not be able to escape. Currently on hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Here is my first attempt at X-Men Fanfiction, any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own and am not affiliated with anything X-Men; I'm just borrowing them temporarily

_Remy:_

I watch her fly away and resign myself to my fate. I will not fight this time, I give up, let fate finally end this miserable existence that I've had the shame of calling my life.

I watch the Blackbird takeoff with anger so strong radiating off myself that I wonder if I could explode myself with my power. Perhaps make the end come a little faster than absolutely necessary.

I know it won't.

I can't.

I'm resigned to not fight, I'm consciously focusing on letting go, allowing the cold to consume me, to end me.

Unfortunately I'm a fighter, always have been, always will be. That's the path that led me here.

I will try to live; I must, for the will to live is ingrained in my very soul. A beginning on the streets taught me to be a survivor. This will be no different.

I may wish to die, but I must try to live.

So I stand up from my knees where I had fallen and walk towards the fallen building. My eyes sting with tears from the sun, or the hurt, or the shame. It doesn't matter why.

I manage to crawl into the remnants of the building, finding nothing but a brief shelter from the wind and sun.

I am forced to crawl under the rubble trying to find something, anything that could help me.

The place is empty of anything that would be useful to me. Still I continue looking.

After a long, hard, cold search I find a latch on the floor, some sort of underground opening. I try to push the fallen items away from the square cut-out that I have found on the floor. I feel particles fall upon me as I jostle the debris. Looking up I realize everything will collapse if I continue to attempt to enter the hidden room.

I move on, I've wasted enough time and effort on the dead-end which could have saved or ended my life. At least for now, I move on.

My muscles are sore and my body is ice. I am a southern boy, the simple cold of New York seeps into my bones.

The cold of Antarctica seeps into my soul.

Well if I had a soul I'm sure it would seep into it.

Crawling further into the remains I find nothing else that interests or helps me. I think back to earlier and try to remember if there was electricity in this small building. I can't remember, but I move to one of the walls in determination of finding out.

I'm not sure when the idea occurred to me, but I thought that if there was electricity than perhaps there was some way to get warm.

I needed to find something to make me warm, anything.

I abandoned my idea of electricity when I could not come up with a further plan even if I found that the building had power.

I had power, I could make a fire, I resolved.

Moving towards a small corner of the building I found a space open enough to allow smoke out yet enclosed enough to perhaps keep some warmth in.

I moved debris to my little corner and attempted to light a card, my finger hurt with the attempt but I was able to get it lit. I placed the card on the wood and hoped it wouldn't explode back in my face.

Somehow my makeshift campfire worked.

Well it was lit anyways.

I sat close to the fire for a long time, noticing that the light from outside had faded. I never seemed to get warm because the winds from outside kept blowing down into the hole above my fire causing it to go out.

I would re-light it every time, until suddenly I couldn't. My fingers were to frozen to allow my power to flow. My body was to frozen to move away from the wind and cold.

I would die here.

My thoughts drifted to my Papa, the man who saved my life in more ways than one a lifetime ago. I knew he couldn't save me today. Would the X-Men tell him the truth about my death? Would they tell him about my death at all?

Would the X-Men care that what they had done was murder? Would they even notice that I was gone?

I laughed. I'm uncertain if I laughed out loud or simply in my head, but I laughed.

They didn't even know the truth about what they had condemned me for. 'Gambit killed the Morlocks,' that's what they would say. That would justify it for them, kill the murderer.

Except I'm not a murderer, I'm not innocent, but I'm not a murderer.

* * *

_Logan:_

Logan entered the kitchen of the mansion having first put his Harley away in the garage. His first thoughts were to get a beer, a cigar, the Cajun and go sit on the porch. He had missed his best friend, plus since it was 2 O'clock in the morning Gambit was probably his only choice of company anyways.

He made his way up the dark quiet stairs to his room. As he reached the third floor that only he and Gambit occupied something felt wrong.

His steps were a little faster as he realized that the Cajun's door was open, his door was never opened. In the 4 years that they had shared this particular floor, his door was never open unless someone was standing in it.

The chaos that he looked upon startled him. The room was a mess, everything was searched, and everything looked destroyed.

He stepped into the room smelling for traces of an intruder. He only found traces of the X-Men, he could smell them all. What had happened? Where was Remy?

He descended the stairs twice as fast as he had ascended them only moments before.

The professor's office was where he was headed.

'Come in Logan' he heard in his head as he was about to open the door angrily.

Good, so the Professor was up, had this happened tonight? Were the X-Men out looking for Remy?

"What the hell is going on Chuck?" he wanted answers, and he wanted them immediately.

"We learned some things about Gambit while you were gone," was the phrase the Professor chose to start the conversation with.

"What do you mean?"

"There was a mission to Antarctica and some things were revealed that we did not previously know about Gambit." He continued.

"Where is Remy?"

"He did not return with the team from Antarctica," the Professor forced out.

"What do you mean?" Logan growled.

"During the mission to Antarctica it was revealed that Gambit had worked with Sinister and led the Morlock Massacre."

"And,"

"And there was a trial, I was not there Logan so I will not pretend to know exactly what occurred, but from all accounts the building that the trial was taking place in began to crumble and everyone had to quickly evacuate. Gambit never made it out," the Professor painfully added.

"X-Men don't leave anyone behind," Logan growled dangerously.

"You have to understand Logan neither Scott nor I were here when the X-Men returned."

"I don't have to understand anything Chuck, his room is destroyed. Was that you?"

"No, of course not!" The Professor yelled exasperated. "That was already done before my return."

"Did anyone go back for him?" Logan demanded.

When Professor Xavier wouldn't meet his eye Logan knew the answer. No, no one had returned for him. No one had even attempted to retrieve his body.

"When did it happen?"

"About a month ago," the Professor answered.

Logan closed his eyes and looked away, there was no hope then, Remy couldn't possibly still be alive.

"He wasn't part of the massacre," Logan told the Professor.

Professor Xavier didn't speak but he looked at Logan intently.

"He was there, but he had nothing to do with it."

"How do you know that?"

"Creed told me one of the first times we fought the Mauraders after Remy joined. I don't know why the kid was with them, but Creed said I need to watch my back because at the first sign of murder the kid freaks out and takes off." Logan had taken to staring at the bookshelf to the right of the Professor as he continued. "I didn't really understand what he meant at the time, so I asked the kid."

"And he explained?"

"Not completely," Logan explained, "he said he was tricked." Logan said trying to recall the exact conversation. "He isn't a killer Chuck, do you really question that?"

"No Logan I do not," He replied sincerely.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I cannot write Remy's accent, so I'm not even attempting. Enjoy!

Chapter 2:

_**Remy_

He woke up in unexpected warmth.

A shiver ran up his spine as he thought of the reasons why he could be this warm after being so terribly cold.

Only one answer came to mind but he momentarily pushed that thought away and tried to hang onto the warmth.

His other senses began returning and he couldn't ignore the steady beeping.

He was in a lab.

Had they come back for him?

His eyes opened slowly, and he flinched immediately at the brightness.

He was physically shivering now, even though he still sank into the warmth that he awoke to.

He sensed the lights turn down, but he was too afraid to open his eyes a second time.

There were only two options of where he could be.

He dreaded both.

He heard someone suddenly start tapping on a keyboard behind him. He swallowed hard, that had given him his answer. It was a subtle gesture to answer his unspoken question.

"Why," he whispered.

He heard a deep sigh and footsteps came towards his bed. He knew the footsteps were audible for his benefit; normally they would have been soundless.

He shivered again.

"Did you truly believe that I would allow you to die?"

Involuntary tears leaked out of his eyes.

He had hoped that he would.

"Open your eyes, I have dimmed the lights, I apologize for before but you should have been out for at least another hour."

"What do you want from me," he asked as he opened his eyes slowly.

"For now I am only concerned for your health, my son."

He swallowed hard.

"How long…" he began.

"I have been trying to save your life for a week now. It is my own fault; I should have been paying more attention to your whereabouts. I found you much too late." He explained.

He looked around the room; it was so similar to others he had awoken in before. "How long…" He asked again.

"You'll be in bed for at least another week. After that I'm sure you will tire of your immobility."

They had played this game before; the answers were ready for him before he even asked.

"Why did your friends leave you in Antarctica?" He asked casually, coldly, uncaringly.

"Because of you," Remy answered just as coldly.

"Ahh, my boy, has our connection finally been revealed?" Dr. Essex inquired.

"They think I led the Morlock Massacre," he answered honestly; there was no point in lying.

"You could not convince them otherwise?"

"I didn't try."

Essex looked at him strangely.

"They wouldn't understand," Remy added uncomfortably.

He received a short nod.

Then silence.

"You must eat," Essex said breaking the silence.

He walked across the room and picked up a phone.

I must get out of here is all Remy could think.

He knew this would happen; he knew who would save him. He knew in which lab he would awaken.

Yet he had still held a small hope.

Until he had opened his eyes.

A week, he would be healthy in a week.

Then he would find a way out.

* * *

_**Logan_

His conversation with the Professor was over for the moment.

He found himself drawn back up to Remy's room.

It truly was a disaster, what had they been looking for?

Logan didn't cry, but the site of seeing an X-Men's room destroyed by other X-Men was unthinkable.

He stepped into the room and looked for anything worth saving for the kid's family.

Even picture frames were smashed and thrown in the garbage. He picked a few up and slid the pictures that hadn't been ruined out of their broken frames. He knew that Remy had cherished each of them.

Logan sat down on the bed, running his fingers along the fine wood. It should be sent back to New Orleans, they had no right to keep it.

Had anyone even contacted Jean-Luc?

Suddenly Logan stood up and closed the door. He remembered that Remy hidden some things under a floorboard underneath his bed. He hoped that the others hadn't found it.

He slid the bed easily across the floor and began examining the wood. Remy had hidden it well he couldn't find it at first glance; he would have given up if he wasn't sure that Remy told him about it.

He wanted to find it and take Remy's treasures before the others discovered anything.

Finally he spotted a difference and lifted the board. There was a small box hidden underneath, it was the size of a shoebox, but made of some sort of metal. Logan had to lift a second board to remove it.

After replacing the boards and moving the bed back, Logan took one last glance around the room before leaving.

As he left he shut the door firmly.

One day Logan thought he would probably open that box, but for now he would give it safe keeping in his own room. The others wouldn't dare go in there.

Glancing at his alarm clock as he entered his own room, Logan read that it was now almost 5 AM.

He would not sleep tonight.

After finding a safe place for the box that he had taken from Remy's room Logan took a long shower.

Scott should be up at 6, and Logan would be waiting.

After his shower and an attempt at meditation, Logan found himself in the kitchen at 5:30 glaring at the door and waiting for someone to join him. He would prefer the fearless leader, but anyone would do.

By 5:40 his gaze had shifted out the window. By 5:50 it turned to the garage.

'The garage' he suddenly thought. Had the kid's bike been in there when he had parked his earlier?

He wasn't sure.

That got him moving, suddenly gave him a purpose besides glaring at the door.

He quickly got up and entered the garage, flipping the switch to light the room as he entered. He moved swiftly towards his bike knowing the Remy's shared the space beside his.

He closed his eyes and punched the wall of the garage as he got there.

Just as he feared the beautiful prize that Remy had built himself was destroyed.

Why? Wasn't it enough that they had killed him and left him there without even giving him a proper burial? They had to destroy all of his possessions as well?

Who were they?

Logan swallowed hard. He had never questioned the intentions of the X-Men before. He had questioned their actions, of course, but never their intentions.

He walked back towards the kitchen even more prepared for his meeting with Scott.

He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

Their answers would determine his actions.

They should be prepared to question his intentions.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I do not pretend to be an expert on X-Men history. I have only read a small fraction of the comics and have taken many liberties with both the characters pasts and personalities. If this bothers you then you have been warned.

Chapter 3

_**Remy:_

"Lilly," the name slipped easily off his tongue.

He hadn't seen her yet, but he had been waiting, he knew eventually she would be there.

She always was, every time. She would be his constant; she would allow him to keep his sanity.

Without her he was lost.

He wondered sometimes if Essex realized his need.

"Hello Remy," she said softly. Her voice sounded like an angel. That is what she was, his angel.

She placed her hand upon his gently as her eyes studied his face. A gentle, worried smile graced her lips as her eyes softly studied him.

He swallowed hard, forcing the tears to stay away.

Her name was Lillyana Millings, Doctor Lillyana Millings. To him she had always been Lilly. She was tall and thin, her olive color skin and dark hair gave away her Greek heritage even if her name did not.

He had often wondered why she would work for a man like Essex, but he would never ask the question. Her presence was too important to him.

Her ebony hair was much longer then he remembered it, and he longed to run his pained fingers through it.

"What happened?" Lilly asked him gently.

So Essex hadn't told her.

He looked away.

Her hand upon his face brought his eyes back to hers, "don't wanna talk about it," he replied.

The compassion in her face warmed him, and she bent down to kiss him gently on his forehead.

Simply grounding him.

As she began to lean back he couldn't resist, and he ran his fingers gently through her waist long hair.

She smiled. It was a gentle smile that she often saved just for him.

"Are you hungry?" She asked him unnecessarily.

He didn't answer, but she walked towards the phone anyways.

"Where are we?" Remy asked gently after her short call ended.

A sad smile graced her lips, and she rechecked his IV without looking him in the eyes.

He wasn't sure why he had asked, she wasn't allowed to tell him. He wouldn't want to get her into any kind of trouble, but he couldn't stop himself from asking. He did it every time; this one would be no different.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He whipped open the door to the kitchen angrily hoping to find an audience on the other side. Anyone would do at the moment.

"Logan," gasped Jean as she turned to see him.

"What the hell was that about?" demanded Scott.

Logan's scowl deepened as he approached Cyclops. "What the hell is going on HERE Cyke!"

The adrenaline running through his veins made his knuckles itch.

Scott stepped back towards the center of the kitchen and looked down, a very unusual gesture for the man.

"Come Logan, sit," encouraged Jean as she made her way to the kitchen table.

"I don't want to sit Jeanie, I want answers." Logan's eyes never left Scott who now leaned against the kitchen island.

"I'm dying to kick someone's ass Summers, and unless you start answering…"

"Then kick my ass Logan," Scott yelled while whipping his head up.

"Go to hell," Logan replied angrily.

"I'm already there," Scott admitted. "I don't know how to fix this," he continued, looking away from Logan once again.

They stood in silence for a few long moments.

The tension that filled the air was suffocating them.

Logan didn't know how to proceed. His anger at Scott had all but evaporated, but his anger at the situation was still very real.

He needed answers.

"Come, sit, both of you," Jean demanded of them.

They both complied, neither knowing what else to do.

"I already talked to the Professor," began Logan.

Scott just nodded his head.

"He told me what hap…how it started."

Again his only reply was a nod.

"Did you ever think to go back to look for him?"

"Jean and I weren't here when the team returned Logan," Scott defended.

"No, but after you returned, did you ever go back?"

"Of course I did, we did." Scott said glancing at Jean, "but we couldn't find him."

"When?"

"Two weeks ago." Scott answered.

"Did you search his room? Destroy his bike?" Logan demanded.

"No, Logan we didn't," Jean answered him this time.

"They were so happy with themselves when we returned," Scott added, "I should have figured out what to do by now."

"What have you done?" Logan replied angrily. This was getting him nowhere.

"Logan," Jean sighed.

"No, seriously, you've been back for 2 weeks, Chuck's back now too. Yet the kid's room is still a destroyed disaster, his bike is sitting in the garage in millions of pieces. His body was never recovered. Did you even call his father?" Logan stood up again as his anger returned full force. He was ready to beat the hell out of Cyke now.

"Rogue and Warren are off the team Logan. Ororo and Bobby are working hard to become active members again. Hank is furious with himself for letting this happen the way it did. I'm working on it, I really am." Scott yelled.

"Ro?" Logan chocked his eyes wide. He would have never expected her to be a part of this. She loved Remy, knew him better than any of the rest of them, and she thought he was a killer? That frightened and confused Logan deeply.

"She was the protector of the Morlocks Logan, his betrayal hit her hard. She agrees that she acted irrationally and the Professor decided to work with her," Jean explained.

"His betrayal? We don't even know what happened!" Logan countered.

"Everyone agrees that he didn't deny the accusations," Scott responded.

"That doesn't mean a damn thing Cyke."

"It's all we have," Jean suggested softly.

The anger in Logan had worn to weariness. Could he be wrong about Remy?

"The kid's dad needs to know," Logan stated.

"The Professor said he'd go down there in a few days," Scott replied.

"We should get his unbroken stuff packed up, there's no reason to keep it here and simply hope no one destroys that too," Logan suggested.

"Have you looked at his bike?" Logan added as an afterthought.

"Yeah," Scott replied quietly, "I kept the pieces when I found it destroyed, but I can't figure out a way to put it back together." Scott had built his own bike before; if anyone could put it back together it would be him.

Then again, what was the point?


	4. Chapter 4

_**Remy_

"Dr. Millings informed me of you positive progress," Essex stated as he entered the room.

"Good for her," Remy spit back at him.

Remy had estimated that 6 days had passed since he first awoke to find himself in the lab and he was definitely ready to get out. If he calculated correctly and if Essex hadn't lied it had been about 2 ½ weeks since he had been left behind.

"So your gratefulness has passed I see," Essex continued.

"I don't recall ever being grateful," he countered.

"You never do," Sinister let out with a sigh.

That's right, in these next few moments Remy knew that the almost-human Dr. Essex would melt into the cold-hearted Sinister. His image may remain in the form of the doctor, but Sinister's intentions would soon be revealed, dissolving the illusion of Dr. Essex who had helped him heal.

"Are you prepared to accept your fate?" Sinister probed.

"That depends, are you prepared to let me go?"

"I believe you owe me for saving your life, is that not a debt you wish to repay?"

"I never asked you to save my life," Remy stated walking to the other side of the room to create more distance between them.

"You are a fighter, my son, you would not have wished to die," Sinister stated.

"I am not your son!" Screamed Remy.

"Remy, I tire of your childish denial."

"You are not my father," Remy stated again pointing at Sinister accusingly.

"I may not have raised you, but I created you," Sinister informed him.

They had been through this before.

"Does he know?" Remy asked, hoping that Jean-Luc didn't think he was dead.

"I have spoken with Jean-Luc," Sinister informed him, "the X-Men have not yet informed him of your alleged death. Why do you suppose that is?"

"What do you want from me?" Remy asked. He needed to know what the price was; he knew he may have to pay it this time.

"It is time for you to join me."

"Never," Remy replied. It was the way he had always replied to that offer. "Why won't you just let me go?"

A smirk crossed Sinister's lips as he asked, "and where is it that you would go? The X-Men tried to kill you; and it wouldn't have even been a quick death. You must have been there a few days before I found you, crawling around the remnants of some building like an animal. They left you there to die, slowly and painfully. Are those the 'friends' you wish to return to?"

"No," Remy suddenly realized.

Sinister's words haunted him. Where would he go? Where could he go?

"Have I not proven time after time that I will be there for you?" Sinister continued.

"Yes," Remy replied involuntarily. Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to stop listening.

"Then join me."

"No," Remy replied automatically. "I could never do what you want me to do," he explained.

"The capacity for which you work for me is of no consequence. I simply wish to have you at my side, in time you will understand what I am trying to achieve. In time you will beg for the opportunity to join me."

"I already know what you are trying to achieve, and I want no part of it," he stated before he could change his mind.

"There are many things you do not know," Sinister informed him.

"You will not change my mind," Remy insisted.

"Very well, you know what path you are insisting on taking."

"I do," Remy admitted.

"You know there is a third option correct?"

"I do," Remy repeated.

"Are you prepared to tell me where she is?" Sinister asked.

"Never," Remy said fiercely.

"Remember that you have chosen your own fate."

Remy laughed mournfully, "It has never been a choice."

* * *

_**Logan_

He was confused. Yup that pretty much summed it up, confused.

He sat on the porch a beer in one hand, a cigar in the other as he watched the sun rise.

He wasn't sure what he thought anymore.

The kid didn't deny anything. That's what he had just been told.

Could he have led the Mauraders?

How much did Logan really know about him anyways?

Still it didn't justify leaving him to freeze to death. Of that Logan was sure.

And what about the way the others destroyed his possessions? That didn't feel right to Logan either.

No, even if he had led the massacre he deserved better treatment than that. They should have brought him back to the mansion and held a trial here.

Logan swallowed the last few drops of his beer and reached for a new one from the 6 pack beside him.

He didn't have the faintest idea of what to do.

It had been a month, an entire month.

Had they not insisted on the timeframe Logan would have guessed that things had just happened a day or two ago.

There wasn't even a hint of a team from what Scott had said. How would they ever be a team again?

Logan tried to remember the conversation that he had with Remy four years earlier about how he knew Creed. He couldn't remember the specifics, the kid had convinced him that he had simply trusted the wrong person, and he had been tricked. Remy had explained that he would never trust again.

Logan almost let out a pitiful laugh before stopping himself. Guess the kid had been on to something, it seemed to Logan that Remy's trust that the X-Men never leave anyone behind had gotten him killed.

It shouldn't have happened. That's what Logan couldn't understand. How does a plane full of X-Men leave one of their own behind?

"Logan," Ororo's voice sounded startled as she stepped out of the house.

"Ro," Logan responded shortly before taking another swig of his beer.

"It is good to have you home," Ororo continued, purposely ignoring Logan's bitterness.

Logan didn't know how to reply, he didn't want to have this encounter right now. He had hoped to be calm before speaking with Ororo.

He couldn't bring himself to look up at her; he resigned to staring out across the lawn.

"Did you just return this morning?" Ororo inquired unsure of what to say to bring him into a conversation.

"More like the middle of the night," Logan responded.

"I assume you've spoken with the Professor?"

"I don't know what to say to you right now Ro." Logan offered.

"Logan I am not proud of the events that transpired," she responded gracefully.

He couldn't stop himself; he laughed exasperated, "You're not proud? You're not proud? You can't even say that you're sorry? No, you're just not proud."

He could hear her sniffle and as he finally looked up at her he saw the sparkle of tears in her eyes.

Now he wasn't proud.

"I am sorry Logan," she responded, "he was my brother, of course I am sorry."

He looked away again.

He didn't know what to say, he wanted to say that he was sorry, but he truly wasn't. It was good to see that she was remorseful.

"I don't know why I let things transpire the way that they did," She continued, "I was so hurt by the revelations, I didn't think of the consequences of our actions."

Logan nodded.

He couldn't, wouldn't say anything to make this easier for her.

"When we returned everyone was so angry, we felt so betrayed. He betrayed our trust Logan!" her voice held conviction, but not anger.

"Are you sure he was capable of what you are accusing him of?" Logan asked. It was the one question he needed her to answer.

She signed. He could tell that she had thought about that carefully, even now she seemed to be weighing the question in her mind, taking her time instead of quickly spitting out an answer.

That upset Logan.

That meant Logan may have been wrong about Remy.

Maybe he was a killer.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! As long as people keep wanting to read more chapters, I will write more chapters. I hope you enjoyed this one.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Remy:_

Remy couldn't breathe.

He fell to his knees and clutched his chest as he tried to inhale some air into his lungs. Unwanted tears welled in his eyes.

"You can stop this at any time," Sinister informed him.

He fought to get back to his feet, still gasping for air.

He was surrounded by various Mauraders who enjoyed attacking him on command.

He had held his own in the beginning but he knew he wouldn't last much longer. Sinister wouldn't allow them to kill him, of that he was sure.

His vision was blurred and he was no longer sure who he was fighting, but the last thing he remembered was having his feet knocked out from under him.

Then nothing.

…

When he awoke he found himself on a concrete floor and the shivers that attacked his body shook him to his very core.

He found himself still gasping for breath, as he huddled in onto himself. He bit his bottom lip and forced his eyes to remain dry.

He had no idea how long he had been unconscious. He didn't think Sinister would let it go this far, he never had before.

He always made them stop. Why hadn't he made them stop?

He couldn't prevent himself from shaking, and he couldn't move off the floor which he blamed for causing it.

He was in too much pain.

It hurt everywhere.

He briefly and slowly looked around the space that he was in.

He was in a cell. That surprised him.

He would normally have awoken on a bed, in a locked room, not a holding cell, not a concrete floor.

That was when Remy first realized that Sinister wasn't playing their game this time.

No, this time Sinister was serious.

That terrified Remy.

He didn't allow his mind to ponder that thought any further; slowly he shifted his position to look around the cell, putting his back to the door.

He discovered that there was a cot in the far corner of the cell, quite a distance from him considering the condition he found himself in.

As he debated how he could move himself across the room and onto the newfound cot he heard a noise behind him.

He tried to slowly turn over and almost threw up with the effort.

"You are too stubborn," Lilly whispered gently as she unlocked the cell door and walked towards him.

"Lilly," he whispered desperately.

"He means it this time Remy," Lilly said softly, "he has no intention of letting you go."

"I noticed," He replied wincing.

"You're burning up," she said as she touched his forehead lightly.

"No, I'm freezing," he responded.

"Oh Rem," Lilly began.

"I'll be fine," he insisted.

"He may not kill you Remy," Lilly acknowledged, "but the things he can do are far worse."

"I know that Lilly,"

"No, Remy you do not," Lilly said more harshly then he had ever heard her speak. As he looked into her eyes he read only truth in them.

"I thought I was finally free," Remy said while closing his eyes.

"How did you end up back here?" she asked.

"The X-Men left me in Antarctica," that was the first time he had spoken the words aloud.

"What?" Lilly questioned startled, "Why would they do that?"

"They wanted me to die."

* * *

_**Logan:_

"No," Ororo finally responded.

Her tone made Logan genuinely doubt that she was sincere.

"Don't lie," Logan warned.

They stood staring out at the mansion grounds for what seemed like a long time, but may have only been a few seconds.

Logan wasn't sure.

"Why would he work with someone like Sinister?" Ororo voiced the question but Logan wasn't sure that she truly sought an answer from him.

So he didn't offer one.

They continued to stare out, neither truly looking at anything.

"The man that I knew wasn't capable of leading a massacre, of that I'm sure," Ororo finally concluded.

Logan nodded his head, but never turned to her.

He reached for his forgotten cigar but he didn't light it, for her benefit. He fidgeted with it, keeping his hands busy.

The silence continued until Ororo whispered something that even Logan couldn't hear.

"What?" he reluctantly asked when she failed to repeat herself any louder.

"He did not deny it Logan," that was what she couldn't figure out. "Why didn't he deny it?"

"I think he was there," Logan informed her.

"What!?" Her eyes burned with renewed rage as she looked at him and he immediately regretted his statement.

It was difficult but Logan remained calm, "I don't think he helped them," Logan swallowed another gulp of beer before continuing, "maybe he....I don't know Ro, I just don't know."

"You think he worked for that monster don't you?" Ororo asked harshly.

"I don't think the kid would do that," Logan stated, "at least not voluntarily."

She seemed surprised at his statement as if she hadn't pondered that possibility before.

"Perhaps he was forced?" Ororo probed, Logan believed that she almost sounded hopeful.

"He once told me he was tricked," Logan admitted.

"You knew about this?" She accused.

"Not exactly Ro, I didn't know exactly what he was talking about," Logan continued feeling like he was babbling, "It just doesn't make sense, he's not a killer."

"No he is not," she agreed, this time sounding sincere.

Although her gaze still fell upon him Logan believed her mind was elsewhere.

"I loved him," Ororo admitted. "If he had just told me then perhaps we could have avoided this."

"If he had told us, would we have accepted him at all?" Logan inquired.

"We killed him," she said softly as tears flowed slowly down her cheeks. "I killed him," she added for emphasis.

Logan wasn't sure what to do or say.

He was no longer angry at her.

At last he stood up and took her into his arms.

His cigar was dropped, forgotten, neither noticed as it hit the ground with a thud.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he still couldn't think of anything to say.

So he just held her.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Remy_

Lilly opened her mouth to say something but before she could…

"Doc," he heard the word and immediately knew who had said it.

He flinched and turned away from the door quickly. Too quickly he realized as he lost his battle with nausea, spilling the contents of his stomach on the floor beside him.

"Bring me something to clean him up with," Lilly asked as she lightly stroked Remy's back.

"Sure Doc," He responded before Remy heard his footsteps grow quieter.

He couldn't stop his tears from falling; trying would have been useless so he just accepted their presence.

"It's okay," Lilly tried soothing him.

He couldn't focus, the world seemed fuzzy to him.

"Stay awake," he heard her say.

He tried to, but it was hard.

"Remy," she persisted. "Stay with me!"

She held his head steady as she stared deeply into his eyes.

She sounded worried, so he tried harder.

"Rem, talk to me, stay awake."

"Can't Lil..." his voice was broken, his vision swam, his head felt miserable.

"Doc?" he heard said hesitantly.

"Get over here Victor, help me sit him up!" The urgency in her voice made him rush over.

"No," Remy forced.

"It's alright kid," Creed reassured awkwardly, while crouching down behind Remy and helping Lilly sit him up.

Remy tried pulling away from Creed but he found himself firmly held.

He struggled and started hyperventilating.

"Please calm down," Lilly begged. "I need his help," she tried reassuring him.

"NO!" he gasped through forced breaths.

"Remy, I need you to calm down and breathe," she insisted.

Without warning he threw up again, seconds later he lost his fight with consciousness.

...

He awoke suddenly, instantly opening his eyes.

He found himself in the lab once again.

Glancing around the room he found it empty.

The lighting was low enough that it didn't hurt his eyes, yet bright enough for anyone else to see without straining.

He closed his eyes again, and took comfort in the warmth that the blankets surrounding him radiated.

His throat burned, but he welcomed the oxygen mask that now covered his face. The warm, moist air made it easier for him to breathe.

He felt tightness against his chest and investigation led to him discovering that his midsection had been wrapped. Broken ribs he presumed.

His head still ached, but the nausea had passed.

He felt better, not good, but better.

He heard the door behind him open, and he quickly shut his eyes.

"I know you are awake," Sinister said as he came to look down upon Remy. "Look at me," he ordered.

Remy swallowed hard before forcing his eyes to open.

"Your current condition will improve in about a day, then I shall continue," Sinister informed him.

His fists balled under the covers, but he showed no sign of reaction to Sinister.

"Do you understand?" Sinister questioned.

He nodded, unable to speak.

"It will only get worse, you understand that?" Sinister reiterated to make his point clear.

Remy was thankful for the mask which hid most of his face.

Inside he screamed in terror.

Outside he simply nodded his head.

Sinister looked disappointed.

"Why do you wish to continue this?!" Sinister demanded.

Remy simply closed his eyes.

A few short moments later Remy heard the door slam loudly.

He took as deep of a breath as the mask permitted and allowed new tears to leak slowly from his eyes.

* * *

_**Logan:_

Somehow the rest of the day sped by faster than Logan imagined it could.

He slowly made the walk up the stairs towards his room on the third floor and was ready to sleep.

He was unsure how long he had been up, but that didn't matter. He rarely slept longer than a few short hours anyways. Tonight however he was fairly certain that he would be sleeping longer.

He was exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally, he was exhausted.

That was rare; he was Wolverine after all.

Still, he was exhausted.

As he reached the top of the stairs anger boiled in his blood as he noticed Remy's door slightly ajar.

He knew he had closed it earlier.

He quickly reached the door and angrily threw it open to find a very asleep Ororo curled up on the bed.

He paused momentarily, hoping he hadn't awoken her.

She had hidden from him since their conversation on the porch that very morning.

He didn't blame her for that.

He slowly backed out of the room, and closed the door, leaving it once again slightly ajar for her sake.

He knew how she hated enclosed spaces. The fact that she was able to fall asleep there at all proved to Logan that she sincerely regretted what she had done.

That was enough.

He moved across the hall and entered his own room.

He stripped of his clothes quickly and put on a pair of sleeping shorts.

As he lay down in bed he tried to figure out what he would do next.

The team wasn't his problem it was Cyke's. He'd leave that to the fearless leader to figure out.

He also believed he had helped Ororo as much as he could; the rest was up to her.

Professor Xavier seemed to be hiding something. Logan was unsure of what it was but something seemed wrong.

How long had the Professor been back? Logan had failed to ask.

It seemed like more should have been done by now. If Logan could reach Ororo in one conversation, then how had the Professor failed?

It unsettled him that Jean-Luc hadn't been told. That was wrong, Remy was his son. He had every right in the world to know that the X-Men had killed his son.

That's what it was.

Logan would never consider it to be anything less than murder.

Never.

He needed answers! It bothered him that no one knew the truth about what they had condemned their teammate for.

He had little idea of where he should go looking for answers.

Just as his mind drifted to sleep a thought emerged…

Creed.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Remy:_

Remy suddenly woke up in a new place.

It was dark, terribly dark. So dark that even his sensitive eyes could not pick up any light.

The floor felt like wood this time, he was thankful it wasn't concrete.

He crawled carefully, trying to find the edge of his prison.

As his hands felt the smooth wall, he stood up.

He walked along the wall until he found a corner, then followed it completely around.

He discovered that the room wasn't that big.

He also never felt a door.

The room was empty.

The room was dark.

When he was confident that he was alone, he sat back down and pulled his knees to his chest.

He hated the dark, it unnerved him. He was normally never in the dark, his eyes making it possible for him to see even in the darkest of conditions as long as there was some sort of light.

Here there was no light.

He couldn't help wondering how long he would be forced to stay in there.

How long had he already been in there?

He tried to stay calm as he pulled his knees closer.

He named all the colors he could think of to occupy his time, first in English, then in French, then any other language that he could recall.

He repeated with numbers.

Then curses.

He tried to stay calm.

He wasn't claustrophobic, but as more time pass, he could have sworn that the walls were closing in on him.

Asleep, awake, he could no longer tell the difference as his torture continued.

He pounded his fists upon the wall at one point, hoping that someone would take pity on him.

He was alone.

He screamed, but as he was forced to hear his voice echo around him he stopped.

He tried to imagine he was somewhere else.

It didn't help.

He was thirsty, so thirsty.

His head felt light and he almost welcomed the feeling.

His stomach ached, from hunger or terror he couldn't tell.

It was dark.

He walked across the tiny room often.

His hands explored the walls religiously hoping to find some difference, a hope of a door.

A hope for a way out.

He screamed again.

It was dark.

He was scared of the dark.

* * *

_**Logan:_

Logan awoke determined.

He had a goal, finding Creed.

He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

He would begin his search immediately he had decided, finding Creed could take some time.

He walked into the kitchen, duffle bag in hand, determination radiating.

Jean and Scott were already seated at the small dining area in the kitchen that was mostly only used for breakfast.

He didn't want to talk to them, he was done talking.

It was time to start doing something.

He had only been back a day, one day, and he had sprung into action quicker than they could even decide that what they had done was wrong.

That troubled Logan.

More than making Logan angry, it troubled him that the X-Men could fall so quickly, so hopelessly.

He would find some answers.

"Logan," Jean said his name as he was about to exit through the door to the garage.

He knew what it looked like, he wasn't hiding the fact that he was once again leaving. He had no reason to stay; he had a reason to leave.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back," Logan replied without turning around. The real answer was that he didn't know if he would be back.

That depended on the answers he found.

"Don't do this Logan," she persisted, "we need you."

He turned at those words, his emotions were still confused.

"I gotta go," he admitted, it was the truth.

"The X-Men need you right now," Scott admitted looking him fiercely in the eyes.

He paused uncertain.

He had already chosen to leave; he didn't plan on changing his mind. Unfortunately Scott's admittance had made him pause.

He shook his head, "I have to go," he repeated and turned around to the door once more.

"Where are you running to?" Scott blasted.

"I'm going to find some answers," he replied threateningly.

"Logan," Jean tested.

He turned back around for her, still determined.

Maybe he should have used the front door.

"Will you be coming back?" she asked startling him.

Was he that easy to read?

He shrugged his shoulders; there was no reason to lie.

"Once you find what you are looking for please come back," she requested.

"Take care of Ro," he suddenly felt the need to tell her.

"Of course," she replied.

"I have to do this," he admitted.

She nodded.

He quickly turned and opened the door.

He never paused as he heard Scott say, "Good luck."

He wasn't sure how long the search would take. He guessed a few weeks. It might be hard to find the man.

A few hours into the search left Logan apprehensive.

He had picked up Creed's trail almost immediately, which felt wrong, very wrong.

Why would Creed be leaving a trail?

Logan's determination forced him to continue following the leads, even if they were leading him into a trap.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Remy:_

He found himself once again sitting against the wall with his legs pulled tightly against his chest.

He wasn't sure how long he had been there, but it seemed like forever to him.

A sound brought his attention to the wall next to him.

A light made him flinch.

A door appeared.

He closed his eyes tightly from the shock and pulled his legs closer.

Now that the door had been opened Remy wasn't sure that it was a good thing.

"Remy," she said gently as he heard her stop before him.

He hid his face.

She stopped short of touching him and simply sat on the floor in front of him.

"I'm here," she stated, "whenever you're ready."

He looked to the side, opening his eyes to allow them to adjust to the light.

He reached out for her hand, but never spoke.

He felt her take it lightly in hers, but she made no other movement.

"I have some water for you," She offered when his silence continued.

He made no reaction to the news.

"Here," she said while slipping the bottle into his hand.

His mouth was so dry that he couldn't resist, he brought the water bottle close to himself and opened the top.

The moment the water hit his throat he started coughing.

The coughing hurt his chest where his broken ribs still persisted to be a problem.

Tears welled involuntarily in his eyes. Tears no longer shamed him. That fact slightly disgusted him.

"Slowly," she advised, knowing to stay seated on the ground instead of moving to help him.

He tried to breathe slowly.

Again they sat in silence.

"Can you stand?" She finally asked him.

He wasn't sure but he nodded.

"Want some help?"

He shook his head unable to tolerate anyone's touch at the moment.

Even hers.

She rose easily to her feet and waited for him to finish his struggle.

He was weak, lack of food, water, light and touch had left him weak.

He had been deprived of his senses for too long, it would take time to adjust.

As he made it to his feet he tried not to sway too much as his lightheadedness almost overwhelmed him.

"Follow me," she told him as she walked out the door.

He had no other choice, so he followed.

Once out of the box, as Remy had named it, they found themselves in a much larger control room of sorts.

Remy didn't look around, he simply followed Lilly into the hallway.

He hoped that he'd have a break, a bed, something that made him feel human.

He wished that she would stay with him.

After a short walk Lilly entered a room to the right and he followed her without hesitation.

He could smell food as he entered the room and his stomach rumbled loudly.

"Sit," Lilly instructed him, and he did.

The tray had been placed on a table and Remy sat down but didn't immediately reach for it.

"It's alright Remy," she encouraged, "it's all yours."

He craved it, but didn't dare touch it.

"Remy, eat."

He heard her sit down in the chair next to him and he turned his eyes to her.

"Please," she asked, "you must eat."

He trusted her, so he ate.

They sat in silence again while he ate the soup and crackers that the tray had to offer him. It wasn't much but to Remy it was amazing. He drank every drop of the two glasses of water that were offered.

When he was done he turned to her.

She gave him a sad smile, and reached her hand out across the table to him, he set his on top of it.

They again sat in silence.

"There is a bed over there," She gestured. "I must set up an IV drip, but then you may sleep," she informed him.

He nodded his head, but didn't move to stand up.

Eventually she rose to her feet, and encouraged him to follow.

As he sank into the bed he fell asleep before she began hooking up an IV.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He walked into the bar and immediately spotted Creed.

"Took you long enough," the man said as Logan approached him.

Creed never looked up at Logan; he simply took another sip of his Scotch.

"Why'd you leave a trail?" Logan demanded as he took the seat beside him.

It had only taken Logan three days to track the man.

The unusual encounter unnerved Logan.

"Been leaving a trail for weeks," Creed informed him.

"Why?" Logan insisted.

He was braced for a fight; he wasn't ready for whatever this meeting with Creed was.

"Why are you here Logan?" he countered.

"I want answers," Logan demanded, momentarily feeling better about the encounter.

"Ask a question," Creed implored.

"Was he a Marauder?"

Creed laughed, and ordered a refill of his scotch.

Logan was mad, "Damn it Creed answer me!"

"You're serious?" Creed replied, he sounded surprised.

Logan almost felt embarrassed, "just answer," he persisted.

"No," Creed finally said, "that's a stupid question; the kid would make a horrible Marauder."

Logan nodded, and then ordered his own beer.

He was itching for a smoke.

"Did he lead the massacre?" Logan said trying to keep his voice down.

"He thinks he led the massacre," Creed replied.

Logan was confused.

"What does that mean?"

"It was a setup," Creed admitted. "He was given a different mission objective then the rest of us."

"What did he think he was doing?" Logan asked.

"Stealing."

Logan nodded, that made sense.

"Why was he with you in the first place?!" Logan demanded after a moment.

"That isn't my story to tell," Creed stated.

He tapped his fingers on the bar impatiently.

"There's no one else to tell it," Logan said bitterly.

Logan could have sworn that Creed suddenly looked nervous.

"Are the high and mighty X-Men proud of themselves?"

"Of course not," Logan burst, "what happened was murder."

He found it increasingly difficult to keep his voice low.

Creed nodded his head resigned, "here," he simply stated while giving Logan a small piece of paper.

As Logan studied it he found coordinates on it. "What is this?" he asked.

"Get him out Logan," Creed stated, turning to him for the first time.

"What do you mean?" Logan growled.

"He's alive."

"Who's alive?" Logan asked startled, not wanting to be hopeful.

"Gambit."

"Why would you tell me that?"

"Just get him out," Creed stated.

"How do I know this isn't a trap?" Logan asked while carefully studying the paper in his hand.

"I guess you don't," Creed admitted, "We have a mission on Tuesday, you should do it then, if we show up before you're gone we'll have to try to stop you."

Logan's heart was beating so loud that he could hardly hear Creed, "Why would you tell me?" he demanded once again.

"I can't torture him anymore," Creed admitted uneasily.

"Am I really supposed to believe that?" Logan asked angrily.

"Believe what you want, just get him out," Creed stated before laying some money down on the counter and getting up from his seat.

With that said he was gone.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Special thanks to BJ2, Prexistence, Hawaiichick, and Peppymint who have motivated me to keep going.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Remy_

He had been tortured for weeks now, each time it got worse.

Each time it got harder to force himself to fight.

He was very close to giving in.

Currently, he lay brokenly on the ground as Creed tore superficial wounds across his torso. A few more minutes and he was sure that he would pass out.

"Stop this," he heard voiced, "we're going to kill him."

He wished the voice hadn't interrupted things, he had hoped Sinister would finally let them end it.

Creed had stopped immediately upon hearing Greycrow's order. He tried catching Remy's eye, but Remy avoided it.

A brief pause settled upon the room.

It felt eerie.

Remy closed his eyes.

"Leave us," he finally heard Sinister say.

He was done fighting.

When he had heard the last footsteps disappear Remy opened his eyes to find Sinister standing above him.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Remy asked the question, unable to hold back any longer.

He was nearly broken, of that he was sure.

He was unsure of why he didn't just give in; he had no reason not to.

He had nothing, and no one to go back too anyways.

Essex stood silent for a moment, simply staring down at him.

Remy wished that he would just take the form of Sinister instead of mocking him as Essex.

He had always viewed the two as different people. Until this encounter, Essex had always treated him well.

This time was different.

"Why did you not choose to join me weeks ago?" Sinister asked.

Remy looked away.

"Why did you trick me?" Remy finally asked. He had wanted to ask that question many times, but he never had.

"Is that where I went wrong?" Sinister countered.

Remy thought about that question, had he not been forced to lead the Massacre would he still be working for Sinister? "Yes," the answer slipped from his lips accidently.

He wished he could take it back.

He wasn't sure he meant it.

"It should have solidified your position as their leader. You should have seized the opportunity," Sinister informed him.

"It made me hate you," Remy admitted, "I will always hate you." He bit his lip in anticipation of an attack. Verbal or physical, he braced for the attack.

"Did I not allow one of my most promising subject's freedom simply because you requested it?" Sinister questioned.

Remy had not been prepared for that particular attack. It brought back painful memories of choices that he had been forced to make long ago.

"It was a lot more than that," Remy spat back furiously.

"I believe you asked, and I allowed it," Sinister said calmly.

"I asked that you let both of us go," Remy's eyes glowed brightly.

"You are welcome to trade places with Victoria if that is what you desire."

"I would never sacrifice Tori's freedom for my own," Remy insisted.

"That is your choice my son."

"Just kill me," Remy suggested.

"How would that suit my purposes?"

"I don't care."

Sinister looked furious, "perhaps next time I will."

Remy looked away defeated.

Sinister simply left the room.

He had meant to accept Sinister's offer this time, but painful memories of the past had prevented it.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"You REALLY think we can trust Sabertooth?" Scott Summers asked him again.

Logan growled.

He had heard the same question repeatedly for the past hour and he was done answering it.

Currently Logan sat in Scott's office; the Professor had finally gone down to New Orleans.

"This is the LAST time I'm saying it so listen up Cyke, I don't know if it's the truth but we have to go anyways!" Logan roared.

"Yeah," Scott conceded once again.

They'd had this conversation several times already.

"We have four days to get this plan together, so do your leader thing and come up with a plan," Logan told him.

For the first time in three weeks Scott Summers laughed.

"We don't even have a team right now," Scott told him miserably.

"Then we put one together," Logan insisted.

"This could be a trap."

"True," Logan acknowledge, "But what if it isn't?"

Scott nodded.

"You really think it could be true?" Scott persisted.

Logan was anxious, very anxious.

He replayed the conversation that he had with Creed over and over in his mind. Creed didn't seem like he was lying, he didn't smell like he was lying.

Logan was so sure that Remy was alive.

"Yes, I really do," Logan admitted.

"Then we need a plan."

This time Logan laughed.

"How many people do we have?" Logan questioned.

"Four, maybe five," Scott admitted hesitantly.

Logan sighed loudly, were they really going to attempt breaking into one of Sinister's labs with only four or five X-Men with no intel?

Yes, they most definitely were.

"Alright, so I guess we go for stealth," Logan suggested. There wasn't the vaguest hint of sarcasm in his words. It was truly the only plan he could think of.

"We have no choice," Scott admitted. "It might be best that way anyways."

They discussed the plan in private for some time before they both realized that they needed to approach the other X-Men.

Scott called Jean and Beast to his office over the loud speaker and the two of them sat in silence awaiting their arrival.

Jean arrived first sensing the urgency in her husband's voice.

Logan had given up his seat and stood against the wall as she entered.

"What's going on?" she immediately questioned.

"Let's wait for Hank," Scott suggested.

It didn't take the doctor long to enter the room but to Logan it seemed to be taking forever.

He was nervous.

They could say no, and simply walk away.

Even worse, Jean could convince Scott not to go, and then Logan would be on his own. Maybe he should just go by himself? He could get in easily, but getting the kid out might be harder.

He needed their help; he needed them to want to help.

He was nervous.

"Are we waiting for anyone else?" Jean questioned when neither of them began to explain.

"Logan received some information," he began.

"Remy's alive," Logan interrupted, he wanted to get this over with. He needed to know what their reactions were.

"What?"

"Oh my stars."

They both looked stunned.

So far they didn't look angry.

Logan was relieved.

"We believe he is being held by Sinister," explained Scott.

"How?" Jean questioned.

"We aren't sure, but we would like your help to get him out." Scott replied.

"Of course," Jean responded.

Hank's hesitation angered Logan.

"Hank?" Scott questioned after a moment.

Hank seemed startled, "umm, yes of course, my apologizes I am astounded that he could possibly have survived."

"Or are you mad that you didn't get the job done?" Logan lashed out with anger.

"Of course not Logan!" He defended. "I am sorry for what I was a part of; I should have been a leader and prevented it. I am aware of that, I would like to help."

Logan wasn't convinced, but they needed Hank's help.

"We need a bigger team then this," Jean suggested.

"Any suggestions?" Scott asked.

"What about Bobby and Ororo? I know they are still on probation, but we could use their help."

Scott nodded; he had considered the same thing himself.

They would have four long days to plan out the details.

Logan didn't want to wait that long, but he had too.

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone still reading this story, especially to everyone who has reviewed! I hope you keep enjoying.


	10. Chapter 10

**Remy:

Sinister had finally abandoned the form of Essex.

Remy hoped that meant his tortured life would soon end.

Any way possible, he wanted it to end.

He was strapped down to the lab table, a tactic Sinister had never used on him before.

His mouth was dry in anticipation.

The scientist was typing on a computer beside him.

He hadn't acknowledged when Remy awoke distressed.

He hadn't acknowledged when Remy had spoken to him.

Remy struggled with the straps that bound him, it was futile, the inhibitor collar was still firmly in place.

"What are you going to do?" Remy asked for what seemed like the millionth time.

Sinister still refused to acknowledge him.

Remy was beyond terrified, he knew he shouldn't have had the argument with Sinister, but he had been exhausted and in pain and completely unable to think straight.

Now he was going to pay for that.

"Don't do this," Remy pleaded. He wasn't sure what Sinister's plan was but he was sure it would be bad.

Sinister turned to him and smiled an evil smile that disturbed Remy to his very core.

"I have tired of your resistance," Sinister informed him.

Remy knew this was the moment when he should just give in and join Sinister; he had no soul left to protect.

He had tried to make up for his past by joining the X-Men and he had failed.

"Okay," he chocked, "I'll join you."

It was his only option.

The torture would stop.

Sinister laughed the evilest laugh that Remy had ever heard.

"You truly believe that is still an option?" Sinister mocked.

Tears once again betrayed Remy as the streaked down his face. "Are you going to kill me?" Remy's voice sounded hopeful even in his own head.

"Of course not, how could I kill my own son?" Sinister continued mocking.

"What are you going to do to me?" Remy swallowed hard. He was pretty sure that Sinister wouldn't answer, yet he was just as afraid that he would.

Sinster's thumb wiped Remy's tears harshly off his cheek.

Remy flinched.

"I have wasted almost five weeks of my valuable time on you," Sinister blasted.

Remy could not think of a reply so he remained quiet.

"Do you believe I enjoy torturing you?" Sinister continued.

Again Remy remained silent, his tears continuing.

"I would return you to Jean-Luc if I believed he would take you," Sinister tormented.

Remy was already broken, and these comments made him crumble even more.

"You were so arrogant before Remy, what has changed?" Sinister persisted.

Remy didn't know what to say or do, he wasn't sure if anything could save him.

He had pushed Sinister too far this time, and he would now pay.

He deserved it.

He braced himself, but nothing ever happened.

As suddenly as it began Sinister untied him.

Remy was relieved.

"Follow me," Sinister ordered.

Remy followed the order immediately.

Maybe Sinister just meant to scare him; maybe he could still just join him.

He shouldn't have resisted.

He was no longer an X-Man, why had he resisted?

He thought he may be led back to the room that Lilly would sometimes take him to, maybe she would be there.

He hadn't seen her in days.

Instead he was led to a cell; at least it wasn't the box.

He could live in a cell.

He stepped in without question as Sinister opened the door.

"Perhaps in a few days your request to join me will be genuine," Sinister said.

As he locked the door Remy wanted to tell him that he was genuine.

He would join him without hesitation if given one more chance.

* * *

**Logan:

The flight to their destination had been almost silent.

Logan could feel the anxiety in the air.

They had landed a short distance from their destination, not wanting to give away their presence.

Everyone was quiet with anticipation.

It could be a trap, Logan still acknowledge within himself.

There was no way that the kid should still be alive.

Why would Sinister have saved him?

Why would Creed inform him?

Logan didn't feel good about the circumstances, their plan wasn't very good.

They had no idea how the structure they were about to break into was laid out.

They had no clue where Remy would be.

They had no proof that Remy was even alive.

"You okay?" Jean asked him quietly.

He didn't bother to answer.

With him were Jean, Cyclops, Storm, Beast, and Iceman. It was a small team, hopefully an effective team.

Get in, find Remy, and get out. That was the plan, it sounded simple, but Logan knew it wasn't simple.

They all knew it wasn't simple.

When they were close enough to observe the structure they found that it was an old abandoned warehouse. Most of Sinister's labs were underground so they weren't fooled by the attempted cover.

Storm and Iceman would stay outside in case the team needed help getting out. The rest were going into the old warehouse and hidden lab.

They had all accepted the mission.

Their motivations varied which would not normally be the case with the X-Men.

Guilt was the most prevalent reason why the current team had agreed to a mission with no information beyond coordinates given to them by an enemy.

If there was the slightest chance that Remy may be in the building in front of them, then they all had a reason to try.

Logan had made sure that they all knew that.

They got into the warehouse through an open door. Whether it was open in practice or on purpose Logan wasn't sure.

They found stairs to a lower section almost immediately. The door at the bottom of the stairs had a card reader that Cyclops quickly destroyed.

They were sure it would set off an alarm but if Sabertooth hadn't lied, then the Marauders shouldn't be a problem.

Anticipation settled upon them all as the hallway beyond the door split into two directions.

"Jean and I will go this way," Cyclops ordered, "Wolverine and Beast head that way."

They all nodded in understanding.

"Regular communication every 10 minutes," he added before the group split.

They all knew that the sole objective of this mission was to find Remy.

Everything else would have to be ignored.

Logan and Hank walked quietly down a long hallway, they explored different doors on their way, but were finding that most of them were empty.

The entire place was quiet.

Logan anticipated a trap.

After making their way further down the hallway the rooms they began searching seemed to be empty lab rooms with tables and equipment.

It looked abandoned.

Logan tried to convince himself that Scott and Jean were having more luck.

Finally they found what appeared to be a control room, something they would normally destroy, but this time they forced themselves to move on.

They needed to stay quiet.

The next few rooms were hard to ignore, they each contained cells, Logan was sure that the faces of those imprisoned would be forever burned in his mind.

Still they moved on.

Their only objective was to find Remy.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Remy:_

Remy thought that it had been three days since Sinister had locked him in the cell.

It was only a guess, but Remy felt pretty certain.

He hadn't seen anyone in the time since Sinister had left him.

Whenever he woke up he would find a tray of food left for him just inside the door.

At least they hadn't forgotten about him.

He tried to stay awake to see whoever it was that kept bringing him food.

He guessed it was Lilly.

He needed to see Lilly.

No matter how long he stayed awake, they would not come until he had succumbed to sleep.

They must be watching him he assumed.

There wasn't much to do in his small cell but he had a cot with a few blankets and they did feed him. It was more then he imagined he would be allowed after his last conversation with Sinister.

Still, lack of human contact had made him withdraw.

He would exercise continuously until it exhausted him.

He had too much time to think.

He thought about the X-Men, he hated them.

They had fooled him more than even Sinister had. They pretended to have a dream worth fighting for, yet they didn't follow the same values that they preached.

Sinister had never pretended that he cared; even though Remy knew he was shown more leniency than anyone else.

It was the X-Men who had pretended to care.

Some day he would destroy them.

That thought had suddenly appeared in his mind and it seemed to be the answer to everything. "I'm ready to join you!" he shouted knowing that someone must be watching.

He thought about each of the X-Men on the plane as he waited for a response.

He had never loved Rogue, and he knew that she had never loved him. At least not the way that they had both pretended. Their bond was simply one of need; Remy had given his heart to another long ago. That didn't mean that her betrayal hurt any less, he would always hate her. She had tried to kill him in one of the worst ways possible. She would pay; he would make sure of it.

His Stormy had surprised him, until the moment she left he thought she would be the one who would help him. He had loved her like a sister, it was never anything more, but it was a wonderful love. She would never be his Stormy again, he may always love her but she would never again have his trust.

The betrayal by the others didn't hurt as bad. He had always been the outcast, the black sheep. He was use to that; it had been that way his entire life. He wasn't sure why he had always been judged that way; he wasn't sure if it was something he could ever have changed.

None of that mattered anymore.

He would destroy them all.

He waited in anticipation, his anger was peaked.

"I want to join you Father," he shouted, adding the title for emphasis. It wasn't a title that he had allowed Essex to have since the Massacre, Remy was sure it would get his attention.

No one came.

He was angry.

After a while his anger subsided into disgust with himself once again.

Why had he thought that he could be an X-Man to begin with?

He was worthless, stupid and useless.

Even Sinister no longer wanted him. A genetic bond prevented the monster from killing him, but even he no longer wanted him.

Even his adopted father Jean-Luc had cast him away.

He was worthless, he was hated, and he was unwanted.

He finally broke down.

He sat down in the corner of the cell and accepted his fate.

Sinister would turn him into an experiment soon enough.

That's all he deserved to be.

He was worthless.

He wanted to die.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"Kid," Logan said sadly as he finally spotted Remy on the far side of the cell, tucked into himself in the corner between the cot and the wall. He looked so young sitting there with his face tucked into his legs as they were pulled up close to his chest.

Logan noticed him trembling as he approached.

That sickened him.

It scared him.

Remy was muttering something but Logan couldn't understand him as he slowly approached the younger man.

"No more," Logan finally understood. "Please," Remy begged, "no more."

When Logan was a few mere inches away from Remy he crouched down to his eye level. "Remy," he began; he was hoping to get Remy to recognize him.

Remy never paused, he kept muttering like before.

"Cajun we don't have much time, we came to get you out of here."

"Logan?" Remy questioned as he looked up at Logan with a tear stained face.

"Yeah kid," Logan acknowledged, "Come on, let's get you home."

"NO!" Remy panicked as he tried to press himself deeper into the corner.

"Shhhh, kid we're here to help you," Logan insisted.

"I'm not an X-Man," Remy accused harshly, "I don't have a home."

"Sure you do kid," Logan persisted.

A sound at the door caught Logan's attention but instead of turning he kept his focus on Remy knowing Hank would alert him if necessary.

"Please, I just want to help," Logan heard a female voice say from the door.

The voice was unfamiliar to him so Logan was forced to turn and discovered that it wasn't anyone that he had ever seen before.

He heard Hank who currently stood at the door to the gate cautiously question her.

"Remy we have to go now," Logan repeated once again turning to look at the kid.

Remy's eyes seemed focused on the women currently negotiating with Hank.

"Lilly," he heard the name called out by Remy. He almost thought he heard hope in his voice.

"Go with them Remy," she insisted while still standing outside the gate to Remy's cell.

With a nod from Logan she approached.

As she came closer Logan moved to stand and give her his space before Remy.

"You have to get out of here," she told him once she had kneeled down to his current eyelevel.

"Not with them," he still trembled.

"You have too Remy, you can't stay here." She pushed the hair out of his eyes gently and wiped away a few wet tears.

"They're X-Men," he explained.

"I know Remy, but you're not going to survive here much longer. I've never seen him this mad at you. I'm not allowed to help you anymore, none of us are."

She wrapped her arms around his broken frame and forced him to stand.

"Go with them, please for me. I can't watch him do this to you any longer."

He nodded and whispered, "For you."

"The Marauders will be back soon," Lilly explained.

She broke her embrace with Remy slowly and held his face in her hands forcing him to look her in the eye. "Go with them and never come back here," she cautioned.

"Come with me," he begged.

"I can't Remy," she confessed.

Just then Logan's com came to life as Scott shouted, "Everyone out now!"

"Let's go kid," Logan said to Remy. Then he turned on his com to inform Scott that they were moving out with Remy.

Remy nodded this time and walked to the door.

"Promise me he'll be safe," Lilly pleaded looking deeply into Logan's eyes.

"I swear," Logan said meaning it completely.

Logan knew it was going to be a long road of recovery.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Remy:_

He didn't want to go with them.

They were X-Men; he hated the X-Men.

He wanted to destroy the X-Men.

Why had Lilly convinced him to go?

He followed Beast quietly; he could feel Logan's eyes on his back.

He didn't want to leave Lilly.

It wasn't taking them long to make an exit and Remy wondered where the Marauders were.

What were the X-Men going to do to him?

He wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

As they got out of the lab he found the X-Men battling the Marauders outside.

It shouldn't have been a battle, there were many more Marauders then X-Men.

It only took a glance to make Remy realize that.

He knew he wouldn't make it out.

They would have to run.

He was too tired, too weak to run.

"Come on kid," Logan said while pushing him away from the current battle.

"Aint worth it Logan, just leave me here," he told him.

"We aren't leaving you Remy," Logan insisted.

"They aren't fighting," Remy whispered causing Logan to turn his attention to the battle that was still being fought.

"What do you mean?"

Remy didn't respond but he could tell that the Marauders weren't really trying, he knew how they fought.

Logan suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the building.

Remy panicked, he didn't want to be touched.

Before he could protest Logan began running, pulling him along by his arm.

Tears flooded his eyes and he almost tripped as he tried to keep up with Logan.

He couldn't breathe; he wasn't in any condition to be running.

"Can't," he was finally able to gasp out.

That had forced Logan to stop, Remy crumbled to his knees.

"Sorry kid," Logan whispered trying to keep them hidden.

He couldn't catch his breath; he wasn't going to make it.

Just when he was about to tell Logan to just leave him, he found himself being lifted from the ground.

"Why?" he couldn't help question.

"I don't leave friends behind Remy," Logan tried to reassure him.

Remy didn't believe him.

He had no friends.

He would bide his time with the X-Men, maybe they would make a mistake and he could get away.

He hated the X-Men.

He didn't fight Logan as the larger mutant carried him away, he couldn't have overpowered him anyways.

He once again accepted his fate.

After only a few minutes the Blackbird appeared before them.

The doors opened as they approached and Logan rushed up the stairs.

The moment Remy's feet touched the ground he moved to create distance between the two of them.

He looked at Logan suspiciously; hoping the man wouldn't move to grab him again.

He didn't want to be touched.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do so he just stood awkwardly staring at Logan for several moments.

Logan seemed to be preoccupied, but he blocked Remy's path to the door so Remy knew he wouldn't be able to escape.

He trembled uncontrollably in fear.

Why had the X-Men come?

Logan must have finally noticed his stare because he asked, "What?"

Remy looked toward the back where he knew the holding cells were located on the Blackbird as he whispered, "where?"

Logan was at a loss as he followed Remy's line of view, "sit wherever you want kid, as soon as everyone gets back we're taking off."

Remy quickly sank into a seat.

He couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his cheeks.

He wanted to stop crying.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"We're on the plane," Logan said into his communicator.

"Retreat," he heard Scott bark the order immediately.

Logan watched Remy shrink into a seat on the Blackbird.

He pressed himself against the window and refused to look up at Logan.

Now that Logan had him safely on the plane he realized just how bad the kid looked.

His dirty and tattered clothes practically hung off his too thin form.

He hadn't meant to hurt the kid by running to the plane.

He just wanted to make the quickest escape possible.

There was no way the X-Men should have been able to hold off the Marauders.

Logan wanted to talk to Remy, but he was forced to prepare the Blackbird for takeoff.

As soon as the others were onboard they would have to retreat.

He would have plenty of time to talk to the kid once they got him back to the mansion.

It made Logan sick thinking about what Remy must have gone through.

The team arrived within minutes and Logan relinquished his seat at the commands as soon as they were airborne. Scott took over the pilot controls while Bobby sat down to assist.

He moved to the cabin and found Ororo sitting next to Remy, perhaps he shouldn't have, but he watched.

"Brother," she said gently while touching his shoulder with her delicate hand.

"Don't," Remy whispered as he tried to press himself even more against the window.

"Remy."

"No," he said as he shook his head and continued to stare out the window.

He could sense the kid's fear grow.

He may have to step in soon.

He briefly noticed that Jean also watched intently.

Ororo looked heartbroken, Logan briefly sympathized, but in a way she deserved it.

"Please," Remy whispered as Ororo still persisted.

Logan needed to stop the situation; there would be time for Ororo to heal her relationship later.

Right now the kid wanted space.

Logan could understand that, he would allow that.

"Come on Ro, leave him be," he suggested.

"But Logan," Ororo began objecting.

He persisted by grabbing Ororo's hand and pulling her out of the seat gently.

Logan observed Remy shiver and he frowned sadly.

He cautiously walked Ororo to a seat towards the front, not acknowledging her protests.

He stood beside Ororo and once again turned his attention to Remy as he heard Jean's voice.

"Remy," Jean said trying to get his attention.

The kid refused to look up.

Logan thought he might have to interfere once again.

Logan observed her unfolded a blanket and drape it across Remy's lap startling him into looking up at her.

"You looked cold," he heard Jean explain.

Remy nodded as he pulled the blanket closer.

"Merci," he whispered looking back down.

"Want anything else?" Jean asked now that she had Remy's attention.

Remy quickly shook his head.

Jean sat down cautiously in the seat that had been vacated by Ororo only moments earlier.

Logan watched intently for any sign that he should interrupt.

He watched Remy cautiously take the hand that Jean offered to him.

She made no other move to invade his space, they simply sat in silence.

After a few moments she must have whispered something to him because Logan watched as Remy nodded and again moved to look out the window.

Convinced that he didn't need to interfere, Logan sat down next to Ororo.

He cautiously looked over at them from time to time until he noticed that Remy had fallen asleep.

He wasn't sure how they were going to help him.

Jean caught his eyes checking on them and she gave him a sad smile.

Logan wanted to ask her if the kid was okay, but he refused to break the silence that had settled upon them.

Her eyes swam, as she shook her head silently answering Logan's unspoken question.

Remy was terrified of them.

He was sure that he had seen hatred in the younger man's eyes.

The X-Men would have to work hard to earn Remy's trust back.

If it was even possible.

He hoped that it was possible.

They would try.

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone for you encouragement it is greatly appreciated! Just a small note: I always picture Logan as Hugh Jackman from the movie, not the Logan of the comics, but you are welcome to envison him any way you like.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Remy:_

He awoke as he felt someone's hands on him.

He fought even before he opened his eyes.

"It's okay kid," Logan said letting go of him.

He was scared, he couldn't overpower Wolverine.

He would try, just like he had when he was forced to fight the Marauders.

He was trapped in his seat on the Blackbird, Logan stood in the way of his only escape.

He couldn't help panicking.

He couldn't breathe.

"Calm down," Logan encouraged, "You're safe Remy."

He couldn't calm down.

He was scared.

That's what his life had become, one terrifying event after another.

"You were asleep," Jean explained looking at him from over the seat in front of him.

He was surrounded.

He didn't want to fight anymore.

"I was just going to carry you out," Logan continued.

He trembled.

"We aren't going to hurt you," Jean assured him.

He didn't believe her.

He hated the X-Men.

He knew the X-Men hated him.

He would have to go with them, he had no other option.

He nodded his head slowly, and bit his bottom lip nervously.

The next move was theirs.

"You ready?" Jean questioned.

He nodded unsure.

"Follow me," Logan told him.

He had become good at following orders so he immediately stood up.

Logan walked off the plane and down the stairs into the hanger, Remy followed slowly.

He felt sick.

He never imagined he'd be back in the mansion; he had never wanted to be.

He continued to follow Logan onto the elevator.

He already knew their destination; he would be put in a holding cell until they decided how to kill him.

Why had he listened to Lilly?

Jean stepped into the elevator beside him and tried to hold his hand again.

He pulled it back this time.

It had been a moment of weakness that had fooled him on the plane.

She looked disappointed, and was glad to have spoiled her plan.

"Why?" Remy questioned as Logan led him unexpectedly to the medlab.

"We have to make sure you're okay Remy," Jean explained.

Why would they heal him before they kill him?

Remy was confused.

"I promise Remy you are safe here," She told him as he stood before the door to the medlab.

Her promise meant nothing to him.

On a normal day the medlab made him weary, today it terrified him.

He knew he had no choice so he walked in.

Hank stood beside a bed in his lab jacket.

Fear overwhelmed Remy as he saw the man.

Was he simply moving from being one man's experiment to another's?

He couldn't handle that.

He didn't like the unknown, he should be adapted to it after spending weeks in Sinister's clutches, but he wasn't.

He couldn't understand why the X-Men had come for him.

He was frozen, unable to move or think or speak.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He could smell the kid's fear, it was overwhelming.

He was unsure of what to do.

He had to try something so he approached the kid slowly, "I promise you're safe," he tried to reassure Remy.

Remy's expression didn't change.

He had doubts that Remy believed him.

The whole room seemed frozen.

Everyone was moving in slow motion unsure of themselves.

"You must be thirsty," Jean spoke trying to break the tension that surrounded them.

He nodded.

New tears filled his eyes as he allowed her to take his hand and lead him across the room and onto a bed.

Logan watched him finish the water quickly after accepting the cup that Jean offered to him.

She took the cup back and refilled it, offering him more.

This time Remy didn't take a sip, instead he clutched it tightly.

To Logan it looked like he was guarding it.

Logan was unsure of what to do, so he continued to simply watch.

Jean sat down in a chair directly in front of Remy.

"What do you need Remy?" Jean questioned softly.

He sat on the edge of the bed avoiding her gaze.

Logan felt sick.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Jean tried again, "would you like to shower?" she suggested.

Remy's head shot up and Logan could easily read the eagerness in the boy's eyes.

Jean smiled softly at him, "come on then," she encouraged as she stood up.

Logan felt Remy's nervousness as his gaze shifted between Hank and himself.

Neither made a move.

She led him to the back of the lab where there was a private bathroom.

As soon as Remy and Jean had disappeared into the bathroom Logan went upstairs to get the kid some clothes.

The rags that they found him in just wouldn't do.

He found Ororo in Remy's room.

It didn't surprise him.

"He hates me," she said as she looked up at him from her seat upon the bed.

"He hates all of us," Logan admitted.

He could tell that she had been crying.

"He's terrified right now Ro, we have no idea what he's been through."

Logan wanted to be more comforting, but the condition that he found Remy in made that impossible.

He was mad at her too.

He was mad at all of them; he was very close to hating them.

This should never have happened.

"Does he have any clothes left?" Logan asked her, remembering the reason why he had come upstairs.

She shook her head sadly.

His anger increased.

He turned to leave; he'd have to get some clothes from Scott.

Her voice stopped him as she called his name.

He turned around to face her.

"Where are you going?" she questioned.

"I gotta find the kid some clothes since you all destroyed his stuff," he knew it was harsh but his anger was peaked.

"Logan.." she began.

"No, you know what Ororo I don't have time for this," he stated. "If you want to help him then go out and buy him some new things and clean this room up before he sees it like this."

He watched her nod before he left the room to search for Scott.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Remy:_

He was grateful for the opportunity to shower.

He knew there would be a price for the luxury, but he was too excited to think about that now.

Jean helped him remove the bandages that were wrapped around his torso; she cringed as she saw the infected wounds from Creed's latest attack.

After the earlier tortures Sinister would always have Lilly patch him up, but she hadn't been present his last week of captivity.

"We're going to have to treat those," Jean said cautiously. "You probably have a fever too," she informed him.

He nodded, he already knew that.

She tried to keep a straight face as she examined him, but he was sure the bruises and scars on his skin disgusted her.

They disgusted him.

She reminded him of Lilly so he tried his best not to flinch.

It was then that he realized the inhibitor collar had been removed. It startled him; they must have removed it when he fell asleep on the plane, but why?

None of this made sense to Remy.

"Do you want me to wait outside?" she asked unexpectedly.

He didn't understand.

A glance at his face must have given him away he figured when she sighed gently.

He wanted to stop being so easy to read, but he couldn't.

"It's your call Remy, do you want me to stay or wait outside?" she explained.

He still didn't understand why she was asking.

She had the power; she needed to tell him what to do.

He didn't want to be punished for choosing the wrong thing.

He was exhausted.

Finally she gave up, "are there any other wounds we need to worry about?" she asked him.

He shook his head.

She turned on the water as she spoke to him again, "there is shampoo and soap in there."

He nodded, but didn't move.

"Go ahead," she insisted.

He accepted it as permission as he quickly shed his pants and entered the tub.

He watched her sit down on the counter through the shower curtain.

He washed quickly, hoping he would be given enough time.

His wounds stung as the soap invaded them, but it was a welcome pain.

He wanted to be clean.

A knock on the door made him freeze.

"Jeannie I have some clothes," he heard Logan say.

Jean hopped off the counter and began to walk to the door.

Remy tried to quickly finish for fear that it would soon be taken away.

"Thanks," he heard her say as the door was opened.

"Need anything else?" he heard Logan ask.

"Yeah, can you ask Hank for some ointment and gauze?" she requested.

"Sure," Remy heard the reply.

He tried to ignore the conversation when the door was once again opened a few minutes later.

Momentarily he felt wonderful.

"You okay in there Remy?" Jean said ruining his moment.

"Yeah," he whispered knowing his time was up.

He turned off the water reluctantly, and she handed him a towel.

She dressed his wounds and allowed him to dress in the clothes that Logan had brought.

He immediately realized they weren't his.

He followed her back into the medlab and was relieved to find the room empty.

"Are you hungry?" she questioned.

He wasn't so he shook his head.

"Tired?" she tried again.

He was exhausted, but he wasn't sure he would be able to sleep.

So he shook his head again.

"I would like to set up some IVs if that's alright."

He didn't want her to call Beast back in so he conceded.

It had taken him weeks, but he had finally realized that there was no reason to fight.

He would lose in the end anyways.

"These are just fluids and medicine to treat the infection," she explained.

He didn't care.

He couldn't stop her.

"Why don't you lie down," she suggested, "you look tired."

He didn't argue; he was tired.

He didn't pay attention as she hooked up his IVs; he instead stared at the opposite wall.

"I'm going to turn the lights off,"

"No," he couldn't help the reaction.

He didn't want to be in the dark.

He cringed as he awaited her reaction.

Her gentleness surprised him, "Why?" she asked quietly.

He couldn't tell her why because then they would use it against him.

"Okay, I won't turn them off, but can I dim them?" she questioned.

He nodded.

He didn't want to, but he found himself succumbing to sleep.

* * *

_**Logan:_

After dropping off the clothes Logan went back upstairs to talk to Scott.

He walked into the office without knocking.

Scott didn't look up at him.

He walked across the small room and dropped into an empty seat across from the younger man.

"How is he?" Scott questioned.

Logan shrugged; he didn't know how to answer that.

"I've never seen him cry before," Logan said after a long moment of silence.

It was the truth.

"Neither have I," Scott confessed.

"What do we do?" Logan asked.

"I have no idea," Scott admitted.

"Ro's a mess," he explained.

Scott nodded.

"Maybe the Professor can help him," Scott suggested.

"When will he be back?" Logan inquired.

"He's on his way," Scott informed him.

"He should already be here," Logan countered.

Scott nodded.

Logan figured he simply didn't want to fight.

The Professor had been called to Washington; he should have been back by now.

In Logan's opinion he shouldn't have gone to begin with, but that didn't matter at this point.

"You okay with Jeannie helping him?" Logan questioned.

"Of course," Scott said without hesitation.

Logan was relieved.

"I need a drink," Scott admitted.

Logan agreed.

Neither man got up.

They sat in silence for some time, both lost in their own thoughts.

Logan had no idea how long they had been sitting there when Jean entered the room.

It must have been a long time.

She sank into the seat next to him without comment.

"Where's the kid?" Logan asked.

"Asleep," she explained.

"That was fast," Scott commented.

"I gave him a sedative," she admitted quietly.

"Jean," Logan sighed.

Lying to the kid wasn't going to win his trust.

"I know," she defended, "I wasn't going too, but he looked so tired and Hank had already prepared it. I'm sorry."

Logan wouldn't judge her. She had been able to get closer to the kid than anyone else could.

"No matter what I say to him, he thinks I'm giving him an order," she tried to explain.

"He's been conditioned to react that way," Logan concluded.

"He was with Sinister for five weeks," Scott added, "We have no idea what they did to him."

"They broke him," Logan had concluded.

"They did," Jean agreed through unshed tears.

"What do we do?" Scott asked her.

"I don't know," Jean admitted, "we help him. We make him realize that he'll be safe here."

"Is he safe here?" Logan questioned.

"Warren and Rogue are no longer X-Men," Scott responded.

"At the moment they aren't X-Men," Logan corrected him, "I want it permanent."

"It is permanent Logan," Scott defended.

"Fine," Logan replied unbelieving.

"It is," Scott insisted.

"Stop fighting," Jean scolded.

They both stopped.

"Physically he'll be fine in a few days," Jean informed them.

"Why would Sinister do that?" Scott questioned.

"He saved the kid from Antarctica, he wasn't trying to physically hurt him," Logan began piecing things together.

"Why would he save him from death and then torture him for weeks?" Scott replied, "That just doesn't make sense."

"He's a monster, nothing he does makes sense," Jean added.

"Why did Creed tell me?" Logan questioned again.

"I don't think we're going to know until Remy is willing to tell us," Jean admitted.

"He shouldn't be alone," Logan said while standing up.

"I agree," Jean said while looking up at him.

Logan was glad that she agreed; he was glad that she cared.

Remy needed them now more than ever.

"I think we should limit who sees him for now," Jean suggested.

Logan could understand that, they needed to keep anyone that was a part of the team that abandoned Remy away from him for now.

Including Ororo.

"Alright," Scott replied.

Logan left the office and made his way to the medlab.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Remy:_

"Lilly," was the first reaction Remy had when he awoke in warmth with someone holding his hand.

"No Remy," she spoke quietly as he opened his eyes cautiously, "It's Jean."

The events of the day before came back to him quickly; the momentary slip was caused by his drowsiness.

He pulled his hand away.

"Who's Lilly?" She asked gently.

He briefly wanted to tell Jean about Lilly, but he didn't.

She had no right to know.

"Hello Remy," Xavier said startling him.

"Professor," he whispered turning to look at the man.

His mental shields involuntarily tightened in the man's presence. He was thankful that Essex hadn't destroyed them.

Professor Xavier studied him briefly, and it made Remy uncomfortable.

"I am very sorry Remy," the Professor told him.

Remy remained quiet he knew better then to face off against the Professor.

That thought made him question why he had ever fought Essex, he should have just given in.

It was different he knew, he never believed Essex would truly hurt him.

He was wrong.

He had already made that same mistake once with the X-Men as well.

"How can I help you?" Xavier asked.

Remy didn't know what to say.

His lack of response didn't seem to faze the Professor as he continued, "The X-Men were very wrong Remy. They had no right to leave you."

He was worried that it was another trick.

He couldn't let himself believe Xavier.

He wouldn't let himself fall for another trap.

He wasn't sure what was going to happen to him.

An escape wouldn't help him, Essex would find him.

He didn't have any options.

He didn't know what to do.

"This is your home Remy, you shouldn't be afraid here," the Professor persisted.

"I don't have a home," Remy whispered, Rogue made sure he knew that.

"Yes you do," Xavier insisted.

He wouldn't fall for it this time; he wouldn't let himself believe that he could join them again.

He was worthless, he was unwanted.

He had been left to die.

Maybe being their prisoner would be the best option for him.

They hadn't treated him badly so far.

He would be safe from Essex here.

"I won't fight you," Remy admitted quietly.

It was his best option, his only option.

"What?" Xavier asked startled.

"Whatever you want, I'll do it," he clarified.

Xavier looked at him sadly.

"We need you to trust us Remy," Xavier explained.

He shook his head sadly; that he couldn't do.

"What did he do to you Remy?" Xavier asked.

Remy looked away.

He wouldn't tell them, he couldn't tell them.

He couldn't live through it again.

"We can't help you if you don't talk to us," the Professor explained.

Remy looked back at the Professor and whispered, "I don't want your help."

* * *

_**Logan:_

Logan stood against the wall and watched the conversation between Remy and the Professor.

He felt slightly guilty, knowing that Remy wouldn't want to have an audience, but he couldn't persuade himself to leave.

Remy's words deeply disturbed him.

He realized the Professor was trying different approaches, but none seemed to get through to the kid.

He didn't know what would get through to Remy.

"We will do everything we can to help you Remy," the Professor insisted.

He watched the kid, waiting for a reaction.

Remy's expression didn't change.

He looked hopeless.

Logan didn't know how to change that.

"Can we get you anything to make you more comfortable?" the Professor asked.

Remy shook his head.

"I'm going to go make you some breakfast," Jean told him as she stood up and left the room.

Logan watched Remy's eyes follow her sadly.

The kid's expression finally changed.

He could smell his fear become overwhelming once again.

"That's enough Chuck," he couldn't help himself from saying.

Remy's eyes turned quickly to him; he hoped he wouldn't add to the kid's fear.

"I'll be back later," the Professor told Remy before leaving.

Remy's eyes never left Logan.

"Jean will be back in a few minutes," Logan tried explaining.

Remy nodded his head.

"Do you want me to leave?" Logan asked still standing against the far wall.

Remy failed to react.

His eyes still studied Logan carefully.

Logan sensed that his fear had decreased now that the Professor was gone.

"I brought you some cards," Logan offered holding the deck up.

He watched Remy's reaction carefully.

"Why?" the younger man asked amazed.

"Figured you'd want something to do," Logan explained.

Remy nodded.

Logan took that as permission to walk closer.

He handed the deck over and Remy instantly grasped it tightly.

"Wanna play?" Logan asked while he sat down in the chair Jean had vacated.

"Okay," Remy whispered so quietly that Logan could barely hear him.

Remy shuffled the deck skillfully.

The two played a few hands, and Logan found himself always winning.

He knew he shouldn't have been winning.

Still, he kept playing.

He could feel Remy's eyes carefully studying him every time he looked down at his cards, but he didn't have the heart to catch the kid in the act.

If that's what Remy needed to do, he'd let him.

Several hands later he relented, "You don't have to let me win," he explained.

Remy didn't acknowledge the statement and they played on as if Logan hadn't spoken at all.

Eventually, Jean re-entered the room with a tray of food.

"I didn't know what you'd want so I made a little of everything," she explained.

He nodded, handing Logan back his cards.

"Keep them kid," Logan insisted while putting them back into their box.

When Remy didn't make a move to reclaim them, Logan set them down on the table.

"Do you want to eat in bed or come over here?" Jean asked him while setting the tray on a table.

Remy stood up without answering and walked to the tray.

Jean smiled at him gently.

"Thank you," Remy said before sitting down and eating.

Logan was relieved he hadn't hesitated.

Maybe he was beginning to trust them.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Remy:_

Logan and Jean seemed to constantly be around him.

He was accustomed to it by now.

He found himself enjoying their company, even though he continued to doubt their sincerity.

He was still waiting for them to reveal their true intentions.

He genuinely wasn't sure what they wanted from him.

Currently he was reading a book that they had given him while spending a very rare moment alone.

His wounds were almost completely healed, and Jean had taken the IVs out that morning.

He wondered why he hadn't been moved to a holding cell now that he was more mobile.

Jean had brought down books and clothes for him the day before and Remy reluctantly hadn't asked why none of them were his. He was grateful for them, it was much more then Sinister had allowed him.

As he heard the door open he looked up anticipating Jean.

Instead he found himself face to face with Scott Summers.

So they had sent their leader to make their demands, he thought.

He could tell Scott was nervous.

That made Remy nervous too.

"Hi Remy," Scott greeted him with a tense smile.

He was able to keep his breathing regular, but answering the man immediately wasn't an option.

He watched Scott scratch the back of his head, a nervous habit that Remy was well aware of.

Why was Scott nervous?

"What are you going to do to me?" Remy finally forced himself to ask.

"It was Jean's turn to cook so she asked me to come down here and keep you company if that's alright," he explained.

Remy nodded, he didn't have a choice.

Scott walked towards him slowly with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

Remy anticipated an attack.

"Logan said you have cards down here," Scott began.

Remy was afraid he had been sent to take them away, and he reluctantly glanced toward the table that they were currently sitting upon.

"I don't actually know how to play poker, but maybe you could teach me?" Scott suggested.

"Really?" he couldn't prevent himself from asking.

"Sure, if you don't mind," Scott encouraged.

"Okay," he agreed.

They both moved to sit across from each other at the small table.

Remy taught him the basics and the two played peacefully.

After several hands both men's nervousness had lessened.

Just when Remy became comfortable with Scott's presence, Scott interrupted the peacefulness by saying, "Ororo would really like to see you."

Remy missed her, but he didn't believe that he could tolerate seeing her. She had betrayed him far more than any of the X-Men.

Remy shook his head sadly.

Scott didn't force the issue, instead he nodded his head.

"You can talk to us Remy," he encouraged, "we can only help if we know what's going on."

He knew the man had come for more than a simple game of cards.

He didn't know what to say, he had already had this same conversation with both Logan and Jean.

He assumed Professor Xavier would be back soon as well.

He didn't know what they wanted to hear.

"What do you want from me?" Remy questioned. One of them would have to answer his question eventually.

"Nothing Remy," Scott sighed. "We just want to help."

* * *

_**Logan:_

"Hey kid," Logan said as he entered the room.

Remy looked up at him but he didn't say anything.

"Wanna go outside?" Logan offered.

Remy nodded slowly.

"Come on then."

Remy jumped out of bed as if ordered. Logan felt angry and couldn't stop himself from saying, "that's not an order kid."

He watched Remy recoil in fear and he felt ashamed.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "Remy you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. You just have to let us know."

Remy failed to have a reaction.

Logan paused uneasily, he was unsure of what to do.

Remy had been back for a few days and he still refused to talk to anyone.

Jean had been adamant that they must be patient with him; they had no idea what he had endured while with Sinister.

Logan had never been patient.

Still, he was trying.

"I'm going outside kid," he finally said, "you can come if you want."

Without waiting for a reply he began walking towards the door.

He was grateful when he heard Remy follow.

The two made their way outside in silence.

"Here kid," Logan said handing him a pack of cigarettes as they both sat down on the porch.

Remy gave a small smile in thanks, but didn't move to open the pack.

They sat in silence for some time, Logan smoking his cigar and Remy fiddling with the unopened pack of cigarettes.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?" Remy finally asked breaking the silence.

The look of hopelessness on his face prevented Logan from being angry.

"We're not going to kill you Remy," Logan assured.

Remy's expression didn't change. He opened his mouth to speak again, but shut it quickly.

Logan waited.

Remy looked down.

"We're trying to help you kid," Logan told him lightly.

"Why," he finally asked.

"Remy they were wrong for leaving you," Logan assured.

"What are you going to do to me now?" Remy whispered desperately.

His desperation sickened Logan.

"We're going to help you recover," Logan replied.

"Then what?"

Logan didn't know what to say, he wasn't sure what Remy wanted to hear.

Remy continued to stare at him, making Logan uncomfortable.

"Remy," Logan finally began unsure.

"Why haven't you locked me up?" Remy questioned.

"You're not a prisoner Remy," Logan said.

He was going to continue but the shock on Remy's face stopped Logan.

"I'm not?" He questioned nervously.

Logan was puzzled. Did Remy think they had been treating him like a prisoner? Were they treating him like a prisoner?

He couldn't help it; he had to ask, "Why do you think you're a prisoner Remy?"

Remy didn't explain.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Remy:_

He wanted to smoke a cigarette, but he was unsure if he could light it so he didn't open the pack.

He hadn't tested his powers since the inhibitor collar was removed.

He wasn't sure if Sinister had tampered with them and he was too afraid to find out.

He didn't want to explain his nervousness to Logan so he set the pack down on the table beside him.

It was getting cold on the porch as the sun went down, but he didn't want to go inside.

It felt good to be outside.

He almost felt free.

"There you are," Jean said while coming out onto the porch.

He was afraid that Logan was wrong, that he was a prisoner.

Why would Logan lie?

"It's too cold to be out here," Jean insisted.

He involuntarily smiled slightly at her motherly tone.

"Why don't we go inside," she suggested.

Remy didn't want to go.

He looked towards Logan as he stood up anyways, "she's just suggesting it," Logan assured him, "you can stay if you want."

Jean looked confused as Remy turned back to her.

He didn't know what to do.

"Do you want to stay out here?" Jean finally asked directly.

He nodded.

She smiled, "okay, I'll go find you a coat."

He felt relieved.

He sat back down.

Maybe he wasn't a prisoner.

She came back within minutes and handed him a coat that he knew wasn't his. It was warm, so he was grateful, eventually he would be brave enough to ask.

"Logan," she scolded as she picked up the unopened package.

"No, please," he begged hoping that she would return them to him.

That startled them both and they turned to look at him.

At first he felt nervous under their gaze, but then he began to be afraid.

He shouldn't have spoken out, he knew that the danger room could torture him in ways that Sinister had not.

"I'm sorry," he whispered terrified, pulling his legs up defensively.

They were both beside him in a second.

"I'm sorry Remy," he barely understood Jean's words through his terror.

He didn't know why he had asked for them, he wasn't sure if he could light them anyways.

"You can have them back," Logan assured.

Jean placed them into his hand gently.

He clutched them like a lifeline. He was hoping that the price he would have to pay for them wasn't too great.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. He was sorry.

"It's okay Remy," Logan said softly and he forced himself to look up.

Logan sat on the table in front of him while Jean stood next to him.

Remy would never be able to escape them both, so he decided he should just accept his fate.

"Remy I'm sorry," Jean said again, surprising him.

Why was she sorry?

"I know you are scared of us kid, but we aren't going to hurt you," Logan explained.

"What can we do to prove that to you?" Jean asked.

Remy didn't believe them, he didn't trust them.

He simply shrugged.

"Really kid, what can we do?" Logan asked.

He didn't know.

He wanted to hate them, but he didn't.

"I don't know," he admitted sadly.

He didn't struggle as Logan pulled him into an embrace. He needed the contact; as much as he didn't want it, he needed it.

He let his tears flow ashamed.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He didn't know what else to do, he didn't know how else to convince the kid that they cared.

He was prepared to release Remy at the first sign of resistance, but when Remy showed none he held him as the kid cried.

He had never seen Remy cry before these last few days.

He wished he knew what to do.

He wanted to help the kid, but he didn't know how.

None of them did.

He wouldn't even talk to them.

"Wanna sleep in your room tonight?" Logan offered.

He knew he shouldn't have made the offer, but he couldn't think of anything else.

Ororo had done a good job cleaning up and replacing Remy's possessions. However, he was unsure of how to explain things to the kid when he didn't understand it himself.

Yet, they had to try something, and he hoped that the comfort of Remy's old bed would make him feel more at home.

That's what their goal was after all, making the kid feel at home.

This was his home, he was an X-Man, whether he wanted to believe it or not.

Eventually the kid quieted and Logan was pretty sure that Remy didn't know what to do.

Logan pulled away slowly.

He appraised the kid wearily. Remy stood stiffly, his eyes were downcast and his long hair hid his face.

"I need you to believe me Remy, we are just trying to help you," Logan tried to explain once again.

"I can't," Remy admitted his voice breaking.

He gently forced Remy to look at him; he could easily read the confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Logan said seriously.

Remy tried to avert his eyes, but Logan wouldn't allow it.

Tears again began to slowly streak down the younger man's face.

"Remy, what they did to you was wrong," Logan continued, "you have to know that."

Remy stayed quiet.

"They were wrong," Logan explained again.

Jean had remained quiet throughout the exchange and Logan briefly glanced in her direction for help.

"This is your home Remy," Jean told him, "you will always have a home here."

Logan let go of him, allowing him to create whatever distance he needed.

Remy didn't move.

Logan thought that was a good sign.

"How can we help you?" Jean asked again.

The look upon Remy's face showed how lost he was.

"What did Sinister do to you kid?" Logan had wanted to ask the question many times before, but this time he had been unable to stop himself.

He watched the terror shine brightly in Remy's eyes and he was ashamed that he had asked.

This time Jean moved to embrace him.

Logan was relieved when Remy allowed it.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he whispered softly.

"Okay," Jean relented.

"What do you need right now Remy?" Logan asked.

"Can I really sleep in my room," he asked.

Logan was once again sorry that he had made the offer.

"Of course," Jean responded.

There was no taking it back now.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is dedicated especially to Brazos, after three reviews for one chapter how could I not?

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to continue! This story has become much longer then I had first anticipated, but thank you for staying with me.

As always, I hope you continue to enjoy.

~Callie


	18. Chapter 18

_**Remy:_

Remy couldn't sleep.

While he had been in the medlab, either Jean or Logan had always stayed with him through the night.

Here he was alone.

It was his own fault; he had told them that he didn't want anyone to stay.

The lights in his room seemed too bright to allow him to sleep, but he couldn't turn them off because his fear of the dark had not lessened.

The room was also too quiet.

He was surrounded by belongings that weren't his, they had warned him, but he didn't understand. He hadn't asked them to clarify because the idea of sleeping in his own room had clouded all his reasoning.

Until now.

Sadly, this room wasn't his and it unnerved him.

He couldn't stay there.

He opened the door and walked towards Logan's room before he stopped himself.

He couldn't disturb the man.

Logan had spent too much time on him already.

However, he couldn't go back to the bright silence of the unfamiliar room that he had just left.

Unconsciously his feet took him upstairs.

He found himself outside of Ororo's loft.

He hadn't meant to walk up there.

He stood in front of the door; he couldn't get himself to knock, so he simply sat on the floor beside the door.

He needed her.

He sat in silence hoping that the closeness would be comforting enough.

He heard her light footsteps on the stairs and he almost ran.

"Remy," she said quietly as she looked down upon him after opening the door.

He didn't say anything; he simply sat there staring at the floor.

She sat down beside him.

"I am sorry for what I did Remy," she explained, "I love you."

She didn't move to touch him; she simply sat looking at him hoping for a reaction.

"We were wrong," she continued, "so very wrong."

"I need you," he whispered sadly.

"I am here," she told him gently offering her hand.

He took it instantly.

They sat together in silence for some time, both content with the other's presence.

Eventually she pulled him to stand and led him up her stairs.

He followed her across the room and they both laid down on her bed.

Ororo wrapped her arms around him gently as they laid there in silence.

He pulled her closer.

He ran his fingers through her hair gently while she softly kissed his cheek.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she questioned.

"No," he whispered.

"I am here should you change your mind."

She felt him nod.

"I love you Remy," Ororo repeated.

He wanted to hate her, but he couldn't.

He needed her.

"Sleep," she encouraged.

"Don't leave me," he pleaded tightening his hold on her.

"Never again Remy," Ororo promised, "never again."

He desperately needed that to be the truth.

* * *

**Logan:

He sensed Remy's presence at his door and forced himself not to answer it before the kid knocked.

When the anticipated knock never sounded he couldn't help himself and he opened the door.

He didn't expect to find the hallway empty.

He saw the light shining under Remy's door and he quickly crossed the hallway and knocked lightly.

He knew they shouldn't have left the kid alone.

When he didn't receive a reply he opened the door slightly.

He didn't expect to find an empty room.

Logan was worried.

"Remy," he called as he stepped completely into the room.

He checked the bathroom only to find it empty as well.

A feeling of panic fell upon Logan.

Where could the kid be?

He walked back into the hall and was able to catch his scent.

He was surprised to find himself led up to Ororo's loft.

Remy had been adamant that he didn't want to see her.

As he found himself in front of her closed door he quietly opened it. Logan couldn't help it; he needed to make sure that Remy was alright.

He heard their hushed words and realized that Remy would be safe for the night.

He was happy for Ororo.

He wasn't tired, so he decided to walk the grounds.

Everything seemed quiet tonight; no one else was awake to distract him.

After a tour of the entire grounds he made his way to the kitchen and found unexpected company awaited him at the table.

"Hey Hank," he greeted as he walked towards the refrigerator.

"Logan," Hank replied distracted.

"What's up?" Logan asked curiously never making it to his destination.

Hank looked hesitant.

"What's wrong?" Logan tried again.

"I was doing some research and what I found has me disturbed," Hank replied.

"Spill it Hank, I don't have the patience for anything right now," Logan replied.

"I knew I had recognized that women that we encountered when we found Remy, but quite frankly I was not prepared for what I found," the large doctor shook his head with disbelief.

"What do you mean?"

"Come with me," Hank asked him and when Logan nodded they both went down to the lab.

"I presumed that I must have read her research and there must have been a picture submitted with the work, but Remy had called her Lilly and I couldn't find anyone by that name." Hank explained while sitting down at his computer.

Logan listened intently.

"This is her, correct?" Hank asked him as he brought up a picture on the computer screen.

"Yeah, that's her," Logan immediately recognized.

"Her name is Clarissa Manos," Hank explained.

"So what? People publish under aliases all the time," Logan voiced.

"That is not what disturbed me Logan, her work is pure evil," Hank stated tensely.

"You have to be wrong," Logan concluded.

"I wish I was, but her experiments are nearly as bad as Sinister's."

"That would explain why she works for him," Logan conceded.

"True, but it doesn't explain why Remy was so trusting of her," Hank continued.

"She convinced him to come with us Hank," Logan replied.

"I know," Hank relented.

Logan could tell that Hank had been trying to piece everything together for some time.

"When did you figure it out?" Logan asked.

"Last night," Hank admitted.

Logan nodded. "Who have you told?" Logan asked.

"Only you," Hank informed him.

He wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Remy:_

He pulled her closer to himself as he awoke.

Now that it was morning he knew they would have to talk.

He didn't regret his decision to trust her the night before.

He was hoping that now that morning had come he wouldn't change his mind.

"Good morning," she said softly as their eyes met.

He bit his lip in contemplation while he studied her eyes carefully for sincerity.

"I'm sorry Remy," she admitted once again.

He could easily read the love in her eyes.

He desperately hoped it wasn't a trick.

"How many times do you plan on saying that?" he asked her.

"As many times as you need to hear it," she informed him.

Their eyes remained locked.

He knew she was probably trying to read him too. He had become far too easy to read and he was hoping that she could help him change that.

"I have to ask you something," he finally told her.

"You can ask me anything," she encouraged.

"What happened to all my stuff?" he asked her.

"I am afraid you will once again hate me when I answer that," she confessed.

"I already tried to hate you Stormy and I found that I couldn't," he admitted, still holding her tightly.

"When we returned from Antarctica..."

"Without me," he interrupted coldly.

She looked away before continuing, "I am terribly sorry Remy; I wish I could undo everything that was done."

He found himself wanting to believe her, but she hadn't answered his question.

"My belongings?"

"We were so angry when we returned that we destroyed them," she answered truthfully. "I wish I could say I wasn't a part of it, but I was."

He surprisingly didn't find himself angry; he was hurt in a way that was much worse.

He released his hold on her and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.

"Remy," she began before he interrupted.

"Careful Petite," he warned.

He meant it; she had only this one chance to win back his trust.

They both remained silent. They both realized the importance of the next few moments.

"You never denied it," Storm eventually said.

He turned back to her.

"I couldn't," he began hoping that she wouldn't interrupt.

She simply lay there looking at him expectantly.

"I was there," he admitted. "I was their leader," he continued, "but I was on a very different mission."

"I was entrusted to protect the Morlocks," Storm informed him as if he wasn't already aware of that.

"I was just sent there to steal genetic data, that's all."

"With a bunch of murderers Remy," she chastised. "Why would you think you would need them for a heist?"

Her anger didn't frighten him.

Unfortunately he realized that he couldn't answer her question without telling her he had worked on missions with them before that.

That would lead to more questions that he had no intention of answering.

"My team was picked for me," was the only reply that he could give.

She accepted his answer and moved closer to him so that she could lay her head upon his chest once again.

"Why did you work for him?" she asked.

He was surprised when she didn't raise her head to study his eyes.

He sighed; there was no easy way to answer that.

He ran his fingers through her hair gently, hoping to prolong the moment.

"No more lies Remy," she told him as she once again brought her eyes up to meet his.

He considered his options carefully.

He couldn't tell her the truth; they didn't need to know that he was an Essex.

"He helped me control my powers," he explained.

It wasn't a lie.

That was honestly how he first met the man; he had been 15 years old when his powers manifested and Jean-Luc sent him to Dr. Nathaniel Essex for help. He wasn't able to get away from the man until he was 20, but he would never blame his Papa for that.

Still, he often wondered if Jean-Luc had known exactly who he had given Remy too. It wasn't a question he ever planned on asking, he was too afraid of the answer.

He held Ororo tightly.

"Thank you for giving me a chance to make things right," Ororo whispered before lying back down on his chest.

He hoped that he hadn't made a mistake.

* * *

_**Logan:_

Things didn't add up for Logan.

He suddenly had the feeling that Remy was playing them after all.

Creed would never have told him about Remy just to save the kid.

The Marauders had pretty much just let them go.

Now Hank had discovered that the women who had 'convinced' the kid to come with them was some evil scientist.

It all added up to a setup.

Logan used all his aggression as he fought against Creed in the danger room.

The kid was good though, he had Logan fooled that he was terrified.

How was Remy able to fool him so easily?

The simulation shut down just as he had been mid swing, and Logan looked up at the control room to find Cyclops looking down at him with disapproval.

"Turn it back on," he challenged. His anger was boiling and he wanted to spill Creed's guts once again.

"You have been running this program for hours Logan, what's going on?"

He wasn't sure if he should tell Scott his conclusions.

He wasn't positive about them yet.

"I think the kid's lying," he finally admitted.

Scott looked genuinely surprised.

"It just doesn't make sense," he added.

"My office now," Scott ordered.

Logan walked out of the room and followed Scott without comment.

"You were his biggest supporter Logan," Scott said once the door had been firmly shut. "Why have you changed your mind?"

"Things just don't make sense Cyke," Logan declared.

"This situation hasn't made sense from the beginning," Scott reminded him.

"Hank and I told you that when we found him, some lady convinced him to come with us."

Scott nodded.

"Hank thought she looked familiar so he's been trying to figure out why," Logan continued.

"Does he know her?" Scott asked.

"He finally found her research and he says she's as bad as Essex."

"Why would Remy trust someone like that?" Scott questioned.

"I don't know? Everything seems like a setup Scott."

"Explain."

"It just seems like Sinister wanted us to find him and bring him back here."

Scott nodded his head after a moment. "What are you suggesting that we do?" he asked.

"I don't know," Logan admitted. "I was trying to figure that out when you interrupted me."

"He seems genuinely afraid," Scott admitted.

"That's the one thing that I can't figure out," Logan stated, "I can't smell him lying."

"What if he isn't?" Scott questioned.

"I don't know," Logan admitted.

"Where is he right now?" Scott asked him.

"Last I knew he was with Ro."

"Really? He refused to see her," Scott said.

"He went up there last night," Logan explained.

"Jean said he broke down last night over cigarettes?"

"It was about more than cigarettes, but yeah, he broke down."

"Is he really that good of an actor Logan?" Scott questioned. "Jean was convinced it was very real."

Logan sighed, "I hope I'm wrong Scott, but what if I'm not?"

"I'll talk to the Professor."


	20. Chapter 20

_**Remy:_

Remy had started to relax with Ororo's help, he couldn't help it; he would always love her.

She had convinced him to give the X-Men a chance. For her, he would try.

A knock sounded on Ororo's door while Remy helped her with the greenhouse.

"Hey Ro, is Remy up there?" Logan asked opening the door a little.

"Yes," she replied.

"Can I come up?" he asked.

Ororo looked towards him for permission and Remy nodded.

"Of course," she replied.

"Hey kid, let's get outta here," Logan told him as he entered the room.

The way Logan had phrased it made Remy nervous.

"Where do you wanna go?" Remy asked.

"I thought you would want to get out of the mansion for a bit," Logan explained.

He looked towards Ororo for advice.

She didn't offer him any.

At first he hesitated, but he soon realized that he would love to go out for a ride. "Can we take our bikes?" he asked after a moment.

The sound of a pot shattering made him turn his attention to Ororo.

She had paled.

He understood without them saying anything.

He should have already figured it out.

He had worked hard to build that bike, it was perfect, and he loved it.

Now it was gone.

How was he supposed to trust them? How was he supposed to forgive them?

"What else did you do?" he asked seriously. He didn't want any more surprises.

"We can go get you a new one," Logan suggested.

He shook his head. He didn't want a new one; he didn't want any of their new things.

He needed to get away from the X-Men.

"Want to use Scott's?" Logan offered.

"No," he replied, "I don't want to go."

"You can use mine," Logan persisted.

"No thanks Logan, I gotta help Stormy finish," he said sadly before getting back to work.

He wouldn't cry; he was done with that.

"Kid we need to talk," Logan insisted.

"It's okay Logan," Remy lied. "I should have known."

He was hoping Logan wouldn't call him on it.

"Want to go out for a smoke?" Logan tried next.

"No," Remy refused flatly.

"Kiddo, I need to know who she is," Logan told him while showing him the picture that Hank found.

So that was the real reason, Remy mused.

They had no right to know about Lilly.

"She's a doctor," he offered.

"What's her name?" Logan asked.

"Lilly."

"Remy I need some real answers." Logan explained.

"Why do you need to know about her?"

Logan didn't answer for a moment; Remy figured he hadn't anticipated the question.

"I need to know why you trust her," Logan stated.

Remy didn't know exactly how to answer that. She had earned his trust years before he had even heard of the X-Men. She had been one of his closest friends; sometimes he believed that he had been her only friend. It had only been natural to trust her during his latest encounter with Essex. "Why?" He insisted.

"Logan, what is this about?" Ororo finally interrupted.

"Hank's been looking at her work Remy," Logan said completely ignoring Ororo.

"I don't want to talk about her," Remy insisted.

Logan sighed exasperated, "pick a topic then kid, you have to talk to us about something," he demanded.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Remy asked.

"I'm not mad Remy, but you need to talk to us, how are we supposed to trust you if you don't tell us…"

"How are you supposed to trust me?" Remy screamed. He was furious, "why am I supposed to trust you?"

"Remy," Ororo tried to calm him.

"No," he yelled stopping her. "You want to know why I trust Lilly? Because I know without a doubt that she would never hurt me. So I don't care what you and Hank think you know about her." He would always trust her, their opinions didn't matter. She worked for Sinister, he was well aware of what that meant, but he would never judge her for it. Everyone who worked for Sinister had their reasons; he had never asked her what hers were. They weren't his to know.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He had managed to completely piss off the Cajun. That hadn't been his plan; he thought he could get Remy out of the house and build back some trust, then get him to tell him what was really going on.

Instead he made things worse.

"Calm down kid," Logan tried to caution when he noticed that the furniture around him started to glow red. How was Remy doing it without touching anything?

He was standing in the middle of a potential explosion and he couldn't cover both Remy and Storm at the same time.

Remy didn't seem to notice his loss of control; he didn't seem to be aware of the power he was radiating.

It must have been tied to his anger.

"Why the hell would I want to calm down?" Remy screamed.

"Because you must concentrate on controlling your power," Ororo replied for him.

"What?" Remy said finally realizing what was happening.

His eyes went wide, "I don't think I can stop it," he admitted.

"You have to try kid," Logan insisted.

Logan watched Remy close his eyes in concentration.

Suddenly the energy was gone, and Remy collapsed.

How did he do that? Was all Logan could think.

Before he could even move Ororo was by Remy's side.

"I did not know Remy possessed such power," Storm admitted.

"I'm not sure that he knew," Logan replied. "Is he alright?" he questioned.

"We must get him down to Hank," she advised.

"Yeah," he agreed as he went over and picked up the now unconscious Remy.

"You should not have done that Logan," she informed him as they walked downstairs together.

Like he didn't know that, he never meant for this to happen.

He should have let Jean and the professor handle it like they had insisted.

Remy was sure to hate him when he woke up.

Things definitely didn't go like he planned.

"What happened?" Hank asked as they entered the medlab.

"The kid almost blew up Ro's room," Logan explained, "he collapsed after taking the power back."

"He was able to charge things that he wasn't touching," Ororo added.

"How is that possible?" Hank questioned.

"I do not know," Ororo replied.

"You should get Jean," Hank suggested.

Logan could understand that, if Remy woke up before Hank was done with his exam then the situation would be even worse. "I'll go find her," Logan informed them before leaving the room.

She was going to be furious at him for this.

It didn't take much searching for him to find her reading in the study.

"Jeannie we need you downstairs," he informed her from the doorway of the room.

"What happened?" she asked as she walked towards him.

He explained it to her the same way he had explained to Hank.

Her eyes were more accusing then his had been, "we told you to leave it alone for now," she scolded as they made their way to the lab.

"I know," he admitted, "I had a plan," he began before giving up.

"There is no quick fix to this," she reminded him.

"So you keep telling me," he replied as they entered the elevator.

She turned to him furiously, "because it's true, if there was a quick fix we would have figured out what it was by now."

"Red."

"Logan this isn't about us finding answers, this is about him wanting to tell us. He has absolutely no reason to trust us right now. I already told you that I don't agree with your theory; something else must be going on. He's not lying to us, Professor Xavier and I both agree on that. We don't even have to probe that deeply to see that he truly is afraid of us. You would also know if he was lying Logan. We would all know!"

"Thanks Jeannie," he told her. He needed to hear that, she was right he definitely would know. So if the kid wasn't lying, then he was being used.

Logan was determined to figure out why.

* * *

Thanks for reading,

~Callie


	21. Chapter 21

_**Remy:_

When he woke up he felt like he was on fire, his entire body burned painfully.

He had no desire to open his eyes and instead pressed his eyelids together tightly.

'Why are you doing this to me?' was his first thought and he tried desperately to say the words. He tried, but failed and the words were left unsaid.

The only cool spot on his body radiated from a hand that held his. He tried to concentrate on that feeling; leaving him unable to let go like he would otherwise have desired.

"Remy," he heard a voice say, "open your eyes." His mind fooled him into thinking that it was Sinister who had given him the command.

He forced them open at the perceived order and immediately regretted it as the bright lights made his eyes water. "Hurts," he tried to whisper, but he was unsure if anyone would hear him. He closed his eyes again.

"I'm sorry," Jean replied sadly.

He forced himself to remember that he was no longer with Sinister.

A cool towel was placed on his forehead bringing him temporary relief.

"Remy, has this ever happened to you before?" Jean asked.

He opened his mouth to speak, but found himself unable to answer. He had never tried to absorb this much power back before and he would never try it again.

His breathing came in short gasps.

"Let your shields down and maybe I can help you," she suggested.

He lowered them upon hearing her suggestion, but then instantly slammed them back into place. He was certain he couldn't trust her enough to do that.

He tried to speak again, but the hot pain was overwhelming.

He squeezed his eyes tighter as the temporary effects of the towel left him.

He shuddered.

"Hot," he tried to force the word out.

"I think you have to let the power out," Jean informed him.

"Oui," he stuttered, he would try almost anything to make the pain stop.

"Remy do you think you can throw a card if I give you one?" She asked him.

"No," he forced out as ironic chills suddenly attacked him.

"Alright, I'll give you a card and you drop it, I'll contain the blast," she suggested.

He couldn't respond but he felt the card placed into his hand. He had no choice but to do what she requested.

He tried to force his eyes to open and she met his unfocused gaze momentarily. "Whenever you are ready," she assured.

He charged the card and dropped it over the side of the bed like she had requested.

He waited to hear an explosion that never sounded. She must have contained it like promised.

He immediately felt better.

"Again," he whispered, he hoped that it was said loud enough to be heard.

"Alright, whenever you're ready," she told him as she handed him another card.

He let more power drain into it now that he knew she would contain it.

After he let go of it his eyelids once again closed as he sighed with relief.

"Try to stay awake for a few minutes," Jean encouraged him.

"Tired," he persisted.

"I know," she acknowledged as she removed the towel on his forehead and replaced it with her hand.

"You still have a fever," she explained.

He didn't care, he felt better.

"We were all worried," Ororo told him and he turned to her finally realizing that it was her hand that still held his. He allowed her to keep it.

He tried to give her a weak smile, but ultimately failed. He didn't have anything to smile about. Had he achieved it, it would only have been for her benefit anyways.

He was tired.

"Has that ever happened to you before?" Professor Xavier questioned him, forcing Remy's attention to the man.

'Of course it had happened before' was Remy's immediate thought. When his powers had first manifested he couldn't get angry without blowing up everything around him.

Remy had accidently killed his adopted brother Henri because of his uncontrollable power, which was why Jean-Luc had chosen to send him to Dr Essex. That's why New Orleans would never again be his home; the man who had raised him could barely even stand to look at him, but that didn't make Remy love him any less.

It was the same reason why he had been so worried to test his powers when he returned to the mansion; controlling his power is how Sinister normally controlled him. It seemed quite fitting somehow.

He decided not to answer.

"I'm tired," he persisted as he allowed his eyes to fall closed once again.

"Kid," he heard Logan's voice and flinched.

He was able to force his eyes back open to find the man's location.

He was nervous under the man's stare and his eyes involuntarily watered as he thought about the events that brought him to the lab.

Logan was going to kill him after what happened.

"I'm sorry," Logan told him.

That was unexpected.

He didn't believe Logan, he was unsure if he would ever believe the man again.

He was unsure if he would ever believe any of the X-Men, no he corrected himself; he was unsure if he would ever believe anyone at all ever again.

Everyone lied.

Everyone used him.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He wasn't surprised that Remy didn't seem to believe him.

In truth he wasn't sorry, he still wanted; no he needed answers.

It wasn't enough that Jean was sure that the kid wasn't lying.

Logan wasn't completely sure.

Remy had closed his eyes again and Jean seemed hesitant to stop him this time. He was unsure of why they didn't let the kid sleep, but he wasn't a doctor.

He needed to know who Lilly was desperately; it was almost an obsession. Her aura at the lab held a sense of arrogance, but Logan also sensed that she had cared deeply about the Cajun. When she told him to 'promise he'll be safe,' Logan had believed it to be the sincerest request that he had ever heard.

Remy's angry words had agreed with that, he gave her his trust freely.

Logan wanted to know why.

"Logan," he looked towards Jean and realized that it must not have been the first time that she had tried to get his attention.

"Yeah," was the only way he could reply at the moment, he was still too lost in his thoughts.

"I'm not sure you should be here," she explained.

He didn't need more of an explanation, she was right. He nodded and walked out without another word. So he was out of the loop that quickly.

It was his own fault.

Still lost in thought he found himself led outside to the porch where he normally did his thinking.

The way they had rescued Remy still bothered him. They had found him locked in a cell, from Creed's own admission the kid had been tortured, yet when the X-Men came to get him out he refused.

Could Remy honestly be more afraid of the X-Men then he was of Sinister and the Marauders?

Right on this very porch Remy had very truthfully asked him if the X-Men were going to kill him.

Is that really how little faith the boy had in them?

'Why am I supposed to trust you?' The words had been ringing in his ears since Remy had said them.

Logan couldn't think of an answer.

Logan normally jumped into things before considering consequences, like he had done with his interrogation earlier. He admitted that's what it had become.

Logan couldn't help his desire for answers. They needed to know more about the kid's past. Hell, Logan didn't even know how old he was.

He sat there in silence for what seemed like hours to him.

"What were you thinking?" she asked him from the doorway.

"I wasn't," he replied, never turning to look at her.

She sighed, "that's obvious."

She came to stand in front of him and he resisted looking up at her from where he sat.

"If you truly doubt him, then I think you need to leave him alone right now Logan," she told him seriously.

"I don't know what to think right now Jeannie," he admitted.

She placed her hand on his arm and he was forced to look up, "it's only been a few days Logan, don't give up on him yet."

He looked down at the floor, her words hurt him. He wasn't giving up; at least he hoped that he wasn't.

"What do we do now?" he asked her.

"When he wakes up the Professor and I are going to convince him to let us help him," she explained.

"I'm not sure that will get you anywhere," he admitted.

"We cannot just force ourselves into his mind!" she said angrily.

He had a feeling she had already had this conversation with someone else. "I wasn't suggesting it Jeannie."

She sighed again, "I know," she admitted as she leaned against the railing in front of him.

"What were you hoping I would say?" he asked her.

She laughed sadly, "I have no idea."

"Do you think he'll be able to control his new power?" Logan asked her.

"I intend on trying to help him," she explained.

"Are you ready for him to reject your help?" he questioned seriously.

"No," she replied honestly.

"Maybe Chuck should do it?" he suggested.

She shook her head, "we've already discussed it, and there is a better chance that Remy will trust me."

He nodded in agreement, she was right.

"Ororo filled us in on your conversation with Remy," she informed him.

He shrugged, he wasn't surprised.

"Why is that doctor so important to you?" she questioned.

"I don't know," he admitted, "it just seemed like a good place to start."

"To start what?" she asked him.

"Piecing together his past."

"Perhaps we should focus on the present first," she suggested.

He remained silent, but he didn't agree.

* * *

A/N: So I am back with a new chapter much sooner than I had anticipated thanks to reviewer encouragement. I apologize that I'm not thanking everyone individually, but I truly appreciated everyone's support (you all know how you are).

Toulouse: my lack of updates is not your fault

Missy Sue: I love the songs


	22. Chapter 22

_

* * *

_

**Remy:

This time he awoke screaming.

He opened his eyes to darkness and found it just as terrifying as his nightmare. He slowly became aware of Storm's voice. She repeated his name gently several times before he was aware enough to respond.

"Stormy," his voice broke in a sob as she joined him on the medlab bed.

"You are safe my friend," she explained.

His heart raced frantically. She wrapped her arms around him and he tried to calm down.

"It's too dark," he admitted hesitantly when he could no longer stand it.

"That has never worried you before," she questioned as she pulled him closer.

He didn't know what to say, he still trembled as she held him.

"Remy," she said his name again hesitantly, "it's not that dark in here."

He didn't agree, his mind didn't agree. He was trapped back in his torture, he had lost count of the number of times that he had endured it.

He focused on the feel of her fingers gently running through his hair. She pulled back from him and he became frantic, "please don't leave me." He was well aware of his desperation.

"I was just going to turn the lights on," she informed him, "I will be right back."

"NO!" he yelled panicked.

"Remy, I..."

"Don't leave me alone in the dark, please don't leave me alone" he rambled over and over again.

"I'm not leaving you," she assured as she held him tighter.

"I don't want to be scared anymore," he confessed as he buried his face in her shoulder.

"I'm right here," she whispered, "you are safe."

He closed his eyes and regretted it immediately. He was once again lost in the memories of his torture.

"Maybe it would help if you would talk to me," she offered.

He almost wanted to tell her, but he kept quiet.

"Tell me how I can help you," she requested.

"Just stay," he responded. It was all that he could handle at the moment.

"I'm right here," she reassured him from the circle of his arms. He was comforted by her presence.

"You are safe here Remy, I promise you."

The sound of the door opening caught his attention, and the lights were turned up to a more acceptable level.

He was relieved when it was Jean, even as he shuddered to forget what his initial thoughts were.

He still held Ororo tightly.

"Remy," Jean said his name slowly as she walked towards him.

He buried his face in Ororo's shoulder unwilling to allow Jean to see how vulnerable he currently was. He realized that Ororo must have called out to her.

"Please let me help you," she encouraged.

Did they not realize what that request meant? Did they truly expect him to just accept that they made a mistake when they left in him Antarctica? Leaving someone to die in the frozen wasteland was an impossible mistake to make. It was an impossible mistake to forgive.

However, Jean hadn't been there he reminded himself. Maybe she could help him?

"How?" he whispered without unburying his face.

"Let me into your mind," she encouraged.

"Why?"

"Whatever he did to you Remy, allow me to help you through it. Perhaps showing me will be easier then telling us. Let me help you control your power." She spoke quickly and he wondered if that was because she was afraid he would interrupt her.

"I don't think I can," he admitted.

"You can try," she encouraged, "let me in."

"I could never control it," he admitted while finally looking up at her.

"So you've had this power before?" she asked gently.

He nodded even though he wasn't certain he should have told her.

"I don't understand," she told him.

He was nervous as he contemplated his next response. Ororo still sat next to him, offering him silent encouragement as he looked back at her.

"He blocked it," he finally admitted, "I've never been able to control it."

"Who?" she questioned even though he was sure she already knew the answer.

He looked away unable to say the name.

"Sinister?" she asked. He was surprised when her voice sounded caring instead of condemning. He had been prepared for her disgust.

He nodded numbly and realized that the years of hiding his past were ending. He was thankful and frightened at the same time. He was sick of living a lie, but he didn't trust them with the truth.

He had very few options at the moment. He could either trust Jean to help him with his powers or he would have to return to Sinister and beg for them to be blocked again.

He would have to trust her because he was no longer willing to pay Sinister's price.

* * *

**Logan:

Logan felt restless as he walked the grounds of the mansion.

His concern that Remy was hiding something important from them wouldn't go away.

Most of the X-Men had colorful pasts and he wasn't sure why he was so concerned with Remy's.

As he walked aimlessly he was trying to come up with a plan.

Only one option came to mind, he would have to find Creed again and force the man to tell him what he needed to know. Creed had been more than willing to do it last time and Logan needed to know why.

He changed the path of his walk and headed back towards the mansion. It wasn't that late, but most of the house was quiet.

Things were almost always quiet since the mansion hadn't had any students in quite some time. They were too busy concentrating on building the team back together to teach any youngsters. Xavier's dream had fallen apart and Logan wasn't sure it was worth putting back together. He wasn't sure if he would ever feel the desire to fight for the cause again. How were they supposed to fight for others when they failed one of their own so badly?

He planned to avoid everyone until he left the mansion. They didn't seem to understand his need to know more and he was sure they wouldn't agree with his plan.

He failed almost immediately as Jean almost ran into him when she entered the kitchen. "Sorry," she mumbled and made her way to the elevator without pause.

"What happened?" he questioned following her.

"Ororo is distressed," Jean informed him as she entered the elevator.

She tried to close the door, but his hand stopped it. "Either get in, or get out!" she demanded.

"If he hurt her," Logan growled as he stepped into the lift.

"That is not what I meant," she informed him and he looked away from her accusing gaze.

As the doors opened she rushed out quickly and he followed close behind her.

"Stay out," she demanded quietly before opening the door.

He stayed out of view and felt guilty for his accusation as he witnessed Remy's distress through the small window in the door. Remy had always been so indifferent to everything and seeing him so panicked was hard. He had seen more emotion from the kid in the last week then he had the four years before it. Whatever Sinister did to him was far worse than Logan had imagined could happen in a month.

The X-Men had condemned him to that month; this was completely their fault. Those thoughts entered his mind and he tried to not think about them at the moment.

He couldn't help it; he was forced to watch the scene that was unfolding in front of him. He was surprised that Remy didn't sense his attention. The kid had always been amazingly observant, but Remy hadn't even glanced in his direction.

His admission about Sinister's connection to his powers stunned Logan. The kid had never been that truthful with them. Logan truly hadn't believed that Remy would allow Jean or Xavier to help him. He was much like Logan in many ways; neither would ever admit if they needed help. Yet just beyond the door that Logan was no longer allowed to enter; the kid was admitting just that. Logan was fairly certain that Remy would regret it in the morning, but hopefully Jean would be able to offer some help before then.

He was now even more motivated to figure it all out. He turned and re-entered the elevator his destination was even clearer.

He made a quick stop at his room for the bare necessities that he would need for the trip and then headed to the garage. He took off on his bike without looking back.

He was going Creed hunting.

This hunt proved more difficult than his first from the very beginning. This time Creed wasn't trying to be found, but Logan persevered.

He searched for days only stopping to sleep for a few hours before continuing his search again. He found himself in bars that he would never have set foot in if he didn't have this particular mission.

The longer the search took, the angrier Logan became. It proved to him that the first search had been a setup from the very beginning. It wasn't a new realization, but it certainly was an important one to remember.

Every lead would prove to be a dead end. Logan had used a lot of contacts in the process, but it was like Creed had disappeared. Logan was sure that he knew he was being hunted; he had tried to be loud about it hoping to lure Creed to him. It was unusual for Creed to back down from a fight with Wolverine. They both thrived on the thrill that only a battle with the other could bring. The danger room version didn't provide nearly the same thrill.

It was only after a week of searching that Logan found him. He found him in a bar once again, but this time they quickly moved outside. This time Creed hadn't been waiting for him.

As they both entered the alley, Logan extended his claws and prepared for the fight.

Creed's grin widened in anticipation, "why'd you come looking for me this time?"


	23. Chapter 23

_**Remy:_

He stopped abruptly and his eyes went wide when he realized that their destination was the danger room.

Storm didn't notice quickly enough as she pulled his arm forward with her continued stride. She looked back at him and all he could say was, "no." The word was deliberately said calmly as he tried to hide the true terror behind it. He had already decided that the danger room was where they would torture him.

"I will be by your side," she tried to persuade him.

"I won't go in there," he insisted.

Jean looked back at him with an expression that he could only interpret as pity. "I chose the danger room in case you lose control," she tried to explain.

"I don't want your pity," he spat out.

"We're not helping you out of pity," she explained.

He didn't believe her.

"We failed you Remy, we realize that," she told him truthfully, "please let us make it right."

He felt Storm squeeze his hand in support, but he still wasn't convinced. "What do I have to do in there?" he asked.

"You can choose the program Remy. Pick somewhere that you would feel comfortable." She explained, "It's only a setting, we're not running a training exercise."

"But you can contain it," he insisted, "we don't have to go in there."

"It would be best to use the danger room but I won't force you," she conceded.

"I don't have to fight anyone?" he needed to confirm it. He didn't want to enter the room and find himself surrounded by Marauders or X-Men or anyone else. He had done that enough the last few weeks.

"Of course not," she assured him. "Will you try?" she asked hopeful.

"Oui," he replied even as his stomach churned in nervousness.

"Thank you," she told him before turning and walking once again towards their destination.

He watched her enter the room without worry and remembered a time when he had been at such ease with the room. He wondered why he had ever trusted the X-Men. He hesitated as Ororo urged him to walk in and he forcefully pulled his hand back from hers.

"Why should I believe you?" he asked from just outside the doorway of the danger room. He was unsure of what answers would be acceptable, but he needed to hear something.

"I don't have a good answer for you Remy," Jean replied, "but I honestly want to help you." He stood in the doorway for several long minutes suspiciously inspecting the empty metal room.

"I'm going up to the control room for a minute," Jean informed him as she slipped by him, "I'll be right back." It gave him a few extra minutes and for that he was in a small way thankful.

He looked at Ororo when he noticed that her attention remained fixed on him. "I promise not to leave you," she informed him once again.

He nodded and took another deep breath. He was unsure how to believe them, but he knew he had to try. He had to get this power under control; he shivered as he thought about his alternative.

As Jean walked back he concentrated on the loud sound of her shoes on the concrete floor and allowed the normalcy of the sound to ground him. He turned to her as she came up behind him, "would you rather try something else first?" she asked.

He wasn't sure so he shrugged.

She gave him another soft smile and it made him hate her pity even more.

"Non," he finally whispered giving in.

Her smile widened and he considered changing his mind once again.

She slipped her hand into his and pulled him slowly into the room.

He grew even more nervous as the door closed forcefully behind them. He was trapped.

"Remy you can stop this at any time," she told him and he wished she had chosen different words. He looked down trying to get his bearings; he promised himself that he wouldn't fall apart this time. He nodded when he was finally ready.

"Where would you feel comfortable?" she asked.

He wanted to say nowhere, but he just continued to stare at the floor instead. He heard her light sigh and immediately wished he had answered. He didn't mean to make her angry. "Don't know," he finally replied when he couldn't think of a better response.

Jean shouted an order and the metal room was transformed into a replica of the Rec Room. "Is this alright?" She asked as the simulation began.

He nodded and looked suspiciously around the room once again.

"Come over here," Jean suggested as she sat down on one of the couches that had materialized.

He looked around hesitantly because he thought he felt someone watching him. Ororo embraced him without speaking, and he tried to push through his current weakness. He caught Jean's eyes as he looked around Ororo. "Would you like to leave?" She asked him.

"No," he replied, "let's try."

Her smile didn't seem to hold the same pity that he had read before.

"You have to relax before we can do anything Remy," Jean insisted.

"I'm trying," he admitted. He truly was trying, but he was afraid that at any moment she would shout a command to the computer that would make the Marauders appear. As the thought emerged he looked around again to make sure it was still an empty room. The danger room had never disturbed him this much.

"Remy, you can shut the program off whenever you want," she reminded him, "you are in control." When he still looked nervous she continued, "Remy just tell the computer to shut off if you need to stop."

"It'll still let me?" He figured they would have blocked his voice from the system.

"Of course," Ororo reassured him, but he didn't believe her.

"Give it a try," Jean insisted.

He tried nervously and the Rec Room instantly faded back into the empty metal room that it truly was. A faint smile briefly appeared. Maybe he could trust them after all. He looked back at Jean with a new sense of determination; he would trust her to help him.

* * *

_**Logan:_

The alley next to the bar was lit in an eerie light this time of night. The street lights didn't reach very deeply into the hidden space and everything was colored in different shades of black and grey. However, that didn't matter to either of its current occupants since their vision was just as good at night as it was during the day.

Creed's feral grin widened in anticipation as he crouched down ready to attack; "why'd you come looking for me this time?"

"I need more answers," Logan growled, metal claws barred and ready for a fight.

"I'm done answering you," Creed said matching his growl.

"Why'd you lead me to Gambit? We didn't even know he was alive," Logan demanded.

"Why does it matter? You have him back don't ya?" Creed countered.

The two circled each other, but neither immediately attacked.

"Why?" Logan demanded again.

"We gonna fight or not?" Creed insisted.

"Who's Clarissa Manos?" Logan asked changing his tactic.

Creed was visibly confused, "who?" he asked. His confusion convinced Logan that it wasn't her real name.

"Why did you let us get him out?" Logan demanded once again.

Logan had the advantage at the beginning since he had been anticipating the fight for days, but his concentration was lost as Creed asked, "has the kid blown himself up yet?"

"What do you mean?" Logan asked as he was momentarily knocked off balance by the question.

"He's been out a while, I figured he would have lost control by now," Creed taunted as he lunged. Logan had anticipated the attack and moved out of the way.

"Why?" Logan said as they once again circled each other. So Remy's loss of control had been planned, Sinister must have anticipated his escape.

Creed laughed, but didn't reply.

Logan attacked, gaining the upper hand once again.

"Why did you let him go?" he growled once again as he pinned Creed against the alley wall with his claws.

"The Doc wanted him out," Creed relented.

"Why would Sinister want us to find him?" Logan demanded.

"He didn't, Doc's in trouble for it," Creed answered before pushing Logan away.

Their fight was frantic; neither held control for too long. To any passerby the movement would only have been a blur of claws and growls shaded in the darkness.

"What Doc?" Logan insisted as the fight slowed briefly. He intended to get as much information from Creed as possible.

Creed smiled as he attacked him once again. Logan's fight was fueled even more than usual with his desire for answers and he easily countered the attack.

"This Doc, is her name Lilly?" Logan tried the new approach.

"Only Gambit calls her that," Creed replied as he backed Logan into the wall. Logan had allowed it, hoping to lure Creed into overconfidence.

"What do you call her?" Logan growled.

Creed laughed again as he replied, "I call her Doc."

Creed was quick to swipe Logan's midsection with his claws, temporarily making him feel a harsh pain before the wound began to heal.

"Why are you here instead of just asking the kid?" Creed said arrogantly.

Logan pushed him away causing Creed to stumble backwards.

"That's right, he hates the X-Men doesn't he?" his arrogance was still present as he regained his footing.

"Who is she?" Logan persisted as he attacked using his claws to cut across Creed's flesh.

"She's whatever Sinister wants her to be," Creed replied.

"What do you mean?"

"She grew up in his labs," Creed offered as Logan continued his assault.

That didn't explain everything, but it sure explained why she did the experiments that Beast had discovered. If she had been under Sinister's influence all her life then she wouldn't have known any better, but that didn't clarify why Remy trusted her. "Why did she help him?" Logan persisted.

"She likes the kid," Creed answered as he recovered from Logan's latest assault.

"Sinister allows that?"

Creed shrugged as they once again circled each other, "it usually keeps the kid under control."

"What's her name?" He demanded directly.

"It might as well be Essex," Creed growled.

He didn't think he'd get a better answer so he moved on, "why would you help her?" Logan questioned.

Creed didn't reply. Instead he attacked again, but Logan was prepared for it and knocked Creed to the ground before the larger man could stop him.

"The Doc's persuasive," he explained.

It sounded almost logical to Logan because he had read some of her work, but Logan didn't completely believe him. "Try again."

Creed didn't reply as he shoved Logan away and moved towards the entrance of the alley.

Logan's mind was left still clouded with questions. "Is he working for Sinister?" Logan asked.

Creed momentarily looked surprised before he covered the expression with a smirk. "Are you really that stupid?" he asked.

The fight was at a standstill, Logan knew that there was no point in continuing, he wasn't going to receive any more information. Creed backed out of the alley easily with his eyes trained intently on Logan. Logan let him go, his head was filled with so many questions that it made it hard to concentrate.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Remy:_

Remy's first few sessions with Jean hadn't accomplished much in regards to controlling his powers, but Jean had slowly been able to regain his trust. She had accomplished it mostly because she never forced him to allow her to scan his mind. She accepted that he didn't want to be 'helped' that way.

He knew that he wouldn't learn true control in his sheltered practice sessions with Jean because he needed to practice control while angry and neither of them had wanted to practice that yet. However, he was able to otherwise learn to control the charge of objects that he wasn't touching and he knew that this new power would help him one day. It may even end up saving his life if it didn't kill him first. He would just have to firmly control his emotions until he had perfected his ability.

Ororo no longer accompanied him to his danger room sessions and it was actually a relief to practice without two people watching him intently. However, he still slept in Storm's room every night. A combination of his hatred of his old room and his never-ending nightmares left them with no other choice other then to share a bed. So far Ororo didn't seem to mind, but Remy couldn't help but worry about the day that she would undoubtedly change her mind. He wasn't sure what he would do then.

He sat quietly on the porch savoring one of his last cigarettes. Logan had disappeared a few days earlier and Remy knew that his supply of smokes would disappear with the man. Remy wasn't sure how he felt about Logan's sudden departure. He was glad that Logan was gone because his suspicion made Remy terribly nervous even though he knew that Logan had every right to be suspicious of him. However, he now found that not knowing where the man went was even worse than being questioned by him.

He wasn't sure why he hadn't just told Logan about Lilly. Truthfully Remy didn't know much about her and he found it hard to explain their relationship. He had always thought of her as a sister, yet it was different then the way he felt about Ororo. He always felt protective of Ororo, but with Lilly it was always the other way around.

He met her when Jean-Luc had sent him to live with Dr. Essex, she was still in med school at the time and Essex forced her to care for him. She had been annoyed with him at first, but they quickly became friends. The opportunity for friends while in Sinister's 'care' was rare and they cherished each other because of that. Had he been a few years older, or she a few years younger and had Victoria never been introduced to them then their friendship would likely have grown in a different direction. Looking back Remy was sure that was why Victoria had come to live with them, their love had been set up by Essex from the very beginning. It was simply another way for the man to have control over him.

"Hey Remy," he heard Scott's hesitant voice say.

"Hi," Remy replied trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He was glad that he had been able to push past his fear and hatred for the X-Men and don his poker face once again. It was just for show as his stomach still churned in their presence, but the guise prevented him from having any more embarrassing breakdowns.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go into town or something?" he asked.

Remy immediately shook his head, "non."

"Aren't you getting a little restless sitting around here?" Scott tried again.

In all honesty he was, but he couldn't be sure what going into town really meant and he had no intention of finding out. "Non," he replied again hoping that Scott would drop it.

"Is there anything we can get you?" Scott asked annoyed.

Remy looked at him and was frustrated because he couldn't read the man's eyes. He sighed involuntarily. "Watcha want me to say?" He asked.

"Here," Scott said while handing him a new pack of cigarettes.

Remy stared at them unbelieving but didn't move to take them. He knew a trick when he saw one and this was definitely a trick. He stood up from his seat and nervously fingered the cards that were stored in his pocket.

Scott simply shook his head and sighed once again. "Look, we both know that I don't think you should smoke, but if they make you feel better then take them. We don't know when Logan's coming back and I'm positive Jean and Ororo aren't going to offer you any of these."

Remy still looked at him skeptically but he longed to take the offered package.

"Just take them!" Scott demanded.

Remy nodded and accepted them.

"Good," Scott said relieved, "now are you sure you don't want to get out of the mansion?" he asked once again.

"Oui," Remy replied. "Merci Scott." Remy wanted to ask him where Logan had gone, but he couldn't seem to form the question. Scott had admitted that he didn't know when Logan was coming back so maybe he didn't know where the man had gone anyways. Either way he didn't end up asking the question.

"Want to pick out a new bike?" Scott persisted.

"No," Remy answered immediately.

"Do you want to at least go look for one?"

"No," Remy repeated. He didn't think he'd be around long enough to need a bike.

"There's no harm in looking," Scott insisted. "I'll help you build one if you want," he offered.

Remy could tell that Scott really wanted him to give in, but Remy wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. In the past he had tried to please the X-Men constantly and nothing ever lived up to their standards, but now he smiled as he realized that he no longer needed to please them. "Don't need one," Remy insisted.

"Professor Xavier said you can get anything you want," Scott informed him.

Remy's eyes narrowed, "I don't need his money or your pity," he informed Scott. With that said Remy sat back down and ignored the man. He watched him intently from the corner of his eye but otherwise didn't acknowledge him. After a few short moments of uncomfortable silence Scott left him alone once again.

As he continued to sit on the porch he couldn't help but wonder where Logan had gone or if he'd be back. Remy wasn't sure if he wanted to still be at the mansion when the older man returned. If Logan found out who he was Remy hoped the man would kill him instead of taking him back to Sinister.

He knew that it would only be a matter of time before Sinister would come for him. He was surprised that he had been given a few weeks of freedom already and knew that it couldn't possibly last much longer. When he did come Remy was sure that the X-Men would learn the truth, Sinister would make sure of it. Remy knew that he should tell them before it actually came to that, but he needed Jean to finish helping him first. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to fight either side and would be left at their mercy. If that happened he knew Sinister would win and he would once again be forced to work for the man.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He didn't rush back after his fight with Creed had ended and instead took his time driving back to the mansion. His fight with Creed hadn't been as satisfying as he had expected. Creed's responses led to more questions instead of answers. The only thing he knew for sure is that Remy had much more history with Sinister and Creed then the X-Men had ever realized.

As he brought his bike into the garage he was surprised to find brand-new bike parts scattered on the floor. He was confused by them, but hoped that they meant that the kid had decided to try to move on while he had been gone.

He wanted to find Remy right away and figure things out. He wasn't angry with Remy for hiding his past association, but he thought the X-Men had a right to know the truth.

'Logan please join me in my office,' he heard in his head and he realized his talk with Remy would have to wait. He had hoped to take a shower before he did anything but he headed to Professor Xavier's office anyways. There was no sense in avoiding the man.

He entered the office and stood against the wall instead of sitting down. Xavier sat behind his desk, his hands were steeped in silent contemplation and a frown had settled upon his normally calm face. Professor Xavier didn't acknowledge his entrance immediately and Logan halfheartedly moved to leave. "I'm unsure of when everything went so wrong," the Professor said before Logan had reached the door.

Logan wasn't sure what to say, they both let an uncomfortable silence settle upon the room. As Logan looked back at the Professor he realized how pained the man looked. "This ain't your fault Chuck," he finally replied.

The Professor's eyes bore into him intently as if he was hoping for Logan to find some way to explain the events that had brought them to their current situation. Unfortunately Logan didn't have any answers to give, there were no excuses for what the X-Men had done.

Professor Xavier's expression slowly changed back into its normally confident appearance. The change in expression had an oddly calming effect on Logan. He wasn't used to Charles being unsure of anything. "Did Sabertooth offer you any of the answers that you sought?" he asked. His voice held the same fake confidence that his eyes now showed.

Logan sighed. "Not really," he offered. He hadn't made sense of everything yet himself so he was unsure of how to explain things to the Professor. "The Cajun has a much longer history with them then we thought," he informed the Professor. It was really the only thing he was sure of.

"Jean has come to that conclusion as well," Xavier acknowledged.

"Has she gotten the kid to talk?" he asked. His voice sounded hopeful even though he was actually skeptical.

"She has been helping him control his powers," Xavier informed him.

"He's letting her?" Logan asked surprised.

Xavier offered a small stiff smile as he replied, "I was skeptical at first as well, but he genuinely seems to want her help."

Logan wasn't sure what to say, he didn't think that Remy would actually accept Jean's help. Remy had never fully accepted their help before and Logan was left wondering why this time was different. Logan had always been suspicious by nature and his hard life had only compounded that trait, but this one time he honestly wished that he could let go of his suspicion and just trust the kid. He knew it wouldn't happen, too many things didn't add up for him.

"He will hardly speak to me Logan," the Professor confessed. Logan could tell that it bothered Xavier greatly, but Logan wasn't surprised by the confession.

When Logan was unable to think of a reply he changed the subject, "When did Remy start working on a new bike?"

"He's not," the Professor replied, "I believe that project is a result of Scott's frustration."

Logan laughed, "Cyke's building him a bike?" He never thought the day would come.

The Professor chuckled as well. "I believe it is his way of helping," he added.

Logan knew that Remy would never accept the bike or even ride it, but he was impressed by Scott's gesture. Maybe the team was something worth rebuilding? "We done?" Logan asked.

"You may leave if you wish," the Professor conceded.

"Just want a shower," he admitted.

Xavier smiled and Logan moved towards the door once again. "Logan," the Professor stopped him as his hand fell upon the doorknob.

"Yeah," he replied turning back.

"Stay away from Remy," Xavier requested. "Let Jean and Ororo take care of things for now."

Logan left without replying, he couldn't follow that request.

* * *

Thanks BJ2, Peppymint and Acadian Angel!

Acadian Angel:I have not forgotten about the box, it's coming I promise.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Remy:_

Remy watched the scene below him anxiously. He leaned over in his chair as far as possible and gazed down at the room intently. Storm, Beast, Iceman, Cyclops and Jean were currently involved in the exercise. Remy longed to join them almost as much as he hated the idea. He wanted his life to stop being such a contradiction.

"You are welcome to join them whenever you are ready," Professor Xavier informed him once again. The man had told him that before and Remy was sick of hearing it.

"What if I'm never ready?" he asked very seriously. His eyes never left the glass window that he was focused on. He didn't want to see the disappointment or anger that he assumed he would find on the Professors face in response to his question. It was a very serious concern that he had. He wasn't sure how he would ever be able to forgive and forget what the X-Men had done. He knew Rogue was banned from the team, but he feared that it would only be a matter of time before the X-Men realized that they had made a mistake.

"You don't have to rejoin the team if you don't want to," Xavier assured. "You will always be welcome here Remy, whether you choose to be an X-Man again or not."

Remy turned to him in disbelief, "if I wasn't an X-Man why would you want me to hang around here?" he asked.

"This is your home Remy, it will always be your home," he assured.

Remy didn't believe him; he had no reason to. He had been told that he had a home before and he had been turned away eventually. He was sure that the X-Men would be no different. "I've been told that before," the words slipped out of his mouth accidently but he wasn't entirely sorry that he had said them.

"Remy I've spoken with Jean-Luc several times and he will come if you would simply ask him," Xavier informed him. Remy was surprised that Xavier picked up on his meaning so quickly.

"He only said that because he knows I'll never ask," Remy replied. He tried to show a front of nonchalance but he hopelessly wished that his Papa would really be willing to come.

"Isn't it worth a try?" Xavier asked him.

Remy shook his head sadly, "I have no right to ask anything of him." Jean-Luc had made sure that he knew that.

"He wants to help," Xavier persisted, "he just isn't sure that you want him to."

Remy laughed, "and you believe that?" he asked doubtfully.

"I believe a father would want to help his son," Xavier replied.

The ridiculousness of the answer amused Remy more then it angered him. "That depends on who your father is," Remy informed him. In his case neither of the men that claimed that title wanted to help him. They both only wished to use him for their own gain.

He would always love Jean-Luc but he was well aware of the prophesy that led the man to take him in. Had he not killed Henri he would have been forced into a marriage to unite the Guilds. He had always held contempt for the idea of marrying Belladonna, but as he thought about the life he had instead he almost wished he had fulfilled the prophesy. Just as quickly as the thought occurred, he changed his mind.

Essex was an entirely different story, but at one point Remy had been fooled into believing that the man actually cared about him. Looking back he realized how ridiculously naive he had been. Essex had never cared about him as a son, he simply saw Remy as a weapon. Essex had convinced him that together they could do anything; naively Remy didn't realize the destructive message behind the words. Essex had fixed his powers and allowed him to earn an education. He smirked to himself as he thought about how the X-Men thought he was completely uneducated.

"Just remember the option is open to you," Xavier's words brought him back from his thoughts and he focused once again on the action happening in the danger room below him.

He nodded but remained quiet. He didn't have anything more to say to Xavier, this had been the longest conversation that he had with the man since his return.

"How have you been sleeping?" Xavier asked after a few minutes of silence.

Remy was annoyed; he wanted to watch the training session in peace. "Good," he lied.

"Ororo seems to differ," Xavier informed him.

He expected the reply, "then why did you ask?"

"I thought perhaps you'd like to talk about it," Xavier explained.

"I'll leave Stormy alone," he assured the Professor. He knew the day would come that Storm would seek the Professor's help with his nightmares. He knew he had bothered her long enough but he wasn't sure where he would now go.

"That is not what I was suggesting," Professor Xavier explained sadly.

"You didn't have too," Remy assured him, "I know Stormy ain't been sleeping either. I'll leave her alone."

"I don't believe that would make either of you happy."

Remy knew he wouldn't be happy without Storm, but he didn't want her to be unhappy with him either. "You sure?" he asked hesitantly. He felt like he was asking permission for something dangerous and embarrassment flooded his cheeks as the ridiculousness of his question fully absorbed him.

"Of course I am sure," the Professor assured him. "Do you have any comments about the training below?" he asked.

Remy knew the Professor was trying to change the subject and he was glad. "No," he replied to the question. He could sense the disappointment of the older man but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Remy my door is always open if you decide you'd like to talk," Xavier informed him.

Remy again didn't know what to say, "merci," he managed to force out. He had no intention or desire to have another talk with the Professor; he hadn't even wanted to have the current talk.

The two of them watched the conclusion of the danger room session in silence. Just before Remy knew the session was going to end he made his exit out of the room. Remy knew that he had to get back to practicing, but he didn't trust the X-Men enough to fight with them or the holographic images of the danger room. It had become easy to trust Jean in a holographic Rec Room but he couldn't trust the X-Men with any real danger.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"Hey kid," Logan tried to sound casual as he walked into the mansion's library and found Remy playing cards alone. He hadn't found him by accident, but tried to make it appear that way.

"Logan," Remy replied without looking up. "Where ya been?"

The question was unexpected and Logan was glad that Remy no longer seemed to be afraid of him. He missed the old Cajun, and the kid before him looked more like his old self then when Logan had last seen him. "Had some stuff to do," he replied.

Remy nodded and continued playing the complicated card game that was laid out on the table in front of him.

"Wanna deal something else?" Logan asked as he sat across from him.

"Watcha want Logan?" Remy countered.

Logan wasn't surprised; Remy had reasons to be suspicious. "I just want to talk."

"Maybe you go call Jubilee?" Remy suggested.

Logan chuckled at the joke, and watched as Remy looked up with a smirk. "I meant I want to talk to you kid," Logan clarified.

Remy nodded and his smirk disappeared as he looked back down at his card game.

Logan sighed; he didn't know how to start. Xavier had asked him to stay away from Remy and instead of following that advice he immediately sought the kid. "I heard you been working with Jeannie," he said.

"Oui," Remy answered. He was still doing his best to ignore Logan and although it was frustrating, Logan tried not to get mad at him.

"How are you really doing?" Logan asked seriously. He was honestly concerned about Remy and he was willing to help him. He didn't bother to lie to himself that he had gone after Creed for Remy, that had been for his own selfish reasons, but he had also hoped that the conversation would end up helping Remy as well.

"I'm still here," Remy replied. The remark left Logan unsure of its true meaning and he realized asking for clarification wouldn't gain anything.

"Do you know how we found you kid?" he asked, he wasn't sure if anyone told Remy yet.

"Non," he replied sounding only vaguely interested.

Logan felt that Remy had the right to know how the X-Men had found out that he was alive and with Sinister. "Creed told me," Logan informed him.

That got a reaction as Remy's eyes flew up to meet his and the cards in the thief's hands were dropped. The look in Remy's eyes was a mix of fear and shame and Logan wasn't sure what to make of it.

Logan waited several minutes for Remy to speak and when he didn't he asked, "have any ideas why Creed would help you?" he asked.

Remy quickly shook his head, but Logan knew better. There was a connection there; neither of them had been able to hide it well. Logan was unsure if he wanted to figure out what it was. For now he let it go and explained, "he said it was because your doctor friend told him too."

"Been working with Jean, ain't been no trouble," Remy said nervously. "Just need help with control then I'll leave," Remy informed him.

That wasn't the answer Logan was looking for and he couldn't cover-up his surprise. "Kid I ain't telling you to leave," Logan informed him. "I just need to know what's going on."

Remy's eyes watered as he asked, "what else did Creed tell you?"

"He said the Doc's always lived in Sinister's labs." He hadn't meant to use the nickname that Creed called her, but he wasn't sure what other name to use. He didn't want to anger Remy by calling her Lilly.

"What?" Remy asked angrily anyways. "That can't be true!"

"That's what he said kid," Logan admitted suddenly unsure if he should have made the revelation.

"But Lilly's. . ." a look of realization passed over the kid's face before being hidden.

"Lilly's what?" Logan asked. He couldn't help his curiosity, he was still unsure of Remy's connection to her.

"Is she in trouble?" Remy asked instead of answering him.

"Creed said she was." Logan admitted.

"It's my fault," Remy admitted, "I knew I was being watched."

"Remy?" he said the younger man's name questioningly. When had Logan lost control of the conversation he wondered?

"What?" Remy replied, obviously still lost in thought.

"How long have you known them?"

"I just need a little time Logan. Please just let Jean help me" Remy was practically begging him.

"I already told you we ain't kicking you out Cajun," Logan sighed.

"Not yet," Remy admitted.

"Damn it Remy, this is your home!" Logan yelled. "Just tell us the truth kid, what's the worst it could be? It's not like you're gonna tell me you're Creed's kid."

Logan missed Remy's reaction to the outburst as he was forced to look towards the door when he heard it open. "What are you doing here Logan?" Ororo asked suspiciously.

"I was just..." he began.

"He's alright," Remy interrupted as he picked up his cards with shaky hands.

Ororo still eyed them suspiciously and Logan was confused. Why would Remy cover up what was going on.

"I wanted to ask if you would accompany me to dinner," Ororo said while looking at Remy.

"Not hungry," Remy replied. Logan was certain it was because of their conversation, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

"You must eat," she insisted.

"Maybe later Stormy," he offered.

"Logan may I speak with you outside?" she asked.

"Sure," Logan replied. He took one more look at the kid and followed her out of the room.

"What were you doing in there?" she asked as the door closed behind them.

"I missed you too," he replied.

"Seriously Logan, while you've been gone he's been trying to trust us. Please tell me you haven't ruined that!"

"It's okay Stormy," Remy said as he opened the door, "I'm going upstairs."

"Remy," she called after him, but he didn't turn or stop.

"He thinks I'm going to kick him out of here. That's not trust," Logan said after Remy had disappeared from view.

"He has admitted that he is only letting us help him because his alternative is Sinister," she informed him. "But he's trying Logan."

The honesty that shined in her eyes convinced Logan to believe her.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Remy:_

He made his way up to Ororo's loft quickly and stepped out onto the balcony for a smoke. Ororo would be mad if she caught him smoking there, but it was the only place he trusted that he could smoke alone. She would be busy eating dinner with the others for a while so he thought he had some time before she would come up to check on him.

'It's not like you're Creed's kid,' the statement repeated in his head and he felt ill as he thought about how much worse the truth actually was.

"You are no longer a child, stop your foolish crying at once," his voice startled Remy and he spun around quickly to find that the man wasn't really there, he was projecting himself into Remy's mind. Remy wasn't surprised; he had built Remy's shields so he could easily slip past them. Remy hadn't even noticed the silent tears that streaked down his face until he brought his hand up to wipe them away.

"Go away," Remy insisted aloud.

"I am prepared to give you a few more weeks, but it is time for you to permanently join me," Sinister's image informed him.

"I am never going back," Remy demanded. He was glad that it was only a projection of the man, but even that was bad enough.

"On the contrary, you have an obligation to come back," Sinister informed him.

"Why?" Remy asked.

Sinister's image folded his arms and shook his head as he replied, "you know our deal well. . . "

"No," Remy stopped him. Of course he knew the deal; the question hadn't been about that. "Why would you raise Lilly and just throw me out on the streets?" He asked. He wasn't sure why it was important to him; he wouldn't have wanted to grow up a lab rat. However Lilly wasn't Essex's daughter, why did the man treat her better than his own son?

"I did not just throw you out Remy," he replied. "You were stolen from me."

Remy hadn't been prepared for that, "I would remember that."

"You were three," Sinister informed him.

"Does Lilly remember?" he asked.

"Lillyana is ten years older then you Remy," Sinister reminded him. "She remembers you well, that is why I allow her some leniency when it comes to you," Remy considered that statement and realized it was probably the truth.

"However, freeing you has never been allowed," Sinister informed him. He was aware of that; he had begged Lilly countless times to just leave his door unlocked or to just give him 5 minutes without alarms, but she never had. She had always insisted that she couldn't and Sinister had just confirmed that she had been telling him the truth. What was so different about this last time?

"Is she in trouble?" he asked worried.

"That depends on whether you return willingly or not," Sinister replied. Remy knew that Sinister was only saying what he knew would make him feel guilty. He didn't think Sinister would do anything bad to Lilly, but the thought wasn't as comforting as it had been in the past since he had felt that same way about himself.

"I will never return willingly," Remy stated even though he didn't completely mean it. He knew that Sinister always had ways of convincing Remy to join him. Remy's hands trembled slightly as he lit a new cigarette.

"I will come again in a few weeks and you better be prepared to return to me or I will simply collect Victoria to pay your debt," Sinister threatened him.

"You unblocked my powers, I owe you nothing," Remy informed him.

"You will never be able to control your full potential. Are you willing to kill more people the way you killed your own brother?" Sinister asked cruelly. "Your current training is pathetic. Besides you long ago promised your service in exchange for Victoria's continued freedom."

Remy was too angry to be hurt by Sinister's words, "Why now?" he insisted. "You let me stay here for four years without going after Tori. Why now?"

"I have recently become aware of her location," Sinister stated leisurely.

"How?" Remy demanded. Even Remy didn't know where she was.

"That is not important," Sinister informed him.

"Of course it's important!" Remy yelled angrily. "I haven't seen my wife in six years because I have been trying to keep her from you! So don't tell me it's not important!"

"Calm down," Sinister insisted. Remy could feel the energy excite around him but was able to barely keep himself from charging anything. His breathing sped up as he began to panic that he would lose control at any moment. "This is the pathetic control that your training has given you," Sinister mocked harshly.

"Make it stop," Remy demanded.

"Not until you return to me," Sinister told him.

He dropped to his knees and closed his eyes as he concentrated on the lessons that he had worked on with Jean. He tried to clear his mind and let go of the anger that was exciting the objects around him. He felt it dissipate and he opened his eyes once again. He smiled as he realized he had controlled it.

"Use your time wisely," Sinister spoke and Remy's smile immediately faded.

"I don't want to work for you," Remy replied.

"You would rather stay with people who tried to kill you?!" Sinister demanded.

"At least they don't torture me," Remy responded.

"That was unfortunate but necessary," Sinister admitted.

"You should have let me join when I asked," Remy informed him.

"You were not ready," Sinister replied tiredly. "You would have quickly defied me."

"I'll never be ready," Remy confirmed.

"It no longer matters," Sinister said with a tone of finality. "If you return willingly I will allow you to return to your studies." Remy was much smarter than the X-Men had ever given him credit for. Essex had demanded that Remy was destined to be a well-known doctor and scientist; Remy never wanted to be either. He may be the man's son, but he would never allow himself to be like Sinister.

"If not then it's back to your torture?" He questioned.

"That failed to achieve my goal, why would I take the same approach?" Sinister taunted him. "Lillyana will no longer have control of your care. Perhaps the Marauders will be more convincing if they no longer have restrictions."

He forced himself not to tremble at the thought. "Go away," he insisted once again and this time he watched Sinister's image fade without another word.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"I'm just trying to help," Logan insisted. That honestly had been his goal. He was convinced that Remy wasn't working with Sinister and he was determined to keep it that way.

"Dinner is ready," Ororo informed him, "why don't you come join us."

"Sure," he agreed. He was glad to have the subject dropped for the moment.

Dinner was thankfully uneventful. The conversation was lighthearted and everyone enjoyed each other's company. It felt like everything was getting back to normal.

When everyone started to disburse Logan made his way around the table, "Jeannie," he said gaining her attention.

"Welcome back Logan," she said with a smile.

"Thanks Jeannie," He said smiling back.

"Did you find what you were after?" Scott asked.

Logan shrugged.

"Scott, can you give us a few moments?" Jean asked him.

Scott sighed. "Sure," he replied before walking away.

Logan and Jean moved to the study, it wasn't that they were afraid that anyone would overhear them. It would just be easier to have this discussion without interruption.

"How's the kid really doing?" Logan asked her seriously.

"Much better," she explained.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Why do you want to be so involved?" Jean asked.

"He's a friend," Logan answered her honestly; "I want to help."

"Are you sure?" she questioned.

"Do you really mean that?" He asked angry.

"I do Logan," she insisted. "Are you trying to help him? Or are you just trying to solve a mystery?"

He hadn't thought about it that way before. He considered the two things to be equivalent, if he could get Remy to confess his past then it would help him. "I'll lay off," he admitted, "I just want to help."

Jean smiled, "he needs friends Logan."

Logan nodded. "So, how's he really doing?" He insisted again.

"It's hard to tell," Jean admitted. "He's unreadable again, most of the time."

"That sounds like a good thing," Logan replied.

Jean laughed sadly, "it is unless you want to know how he's doing."

Logan conceded with a nod.

"Did Creed tell you anything that I should know?" Jean questioned.

"Has the kid talked about Sinister at all?" he asked instead of answering her question.

"Not really," she admitted. "Although I must admit, I don't push him for information."

Logan nodded. "Creed knows him better than I would have guessed," Logan informed her.

"How long have they known each other?" She asked.

Logan shrugged, "I'm not sure." It was hard to admit that he hadn't gotten that much information out of Creed. He should have tried harder.

"Did Creed tell you anything about Remy's captivity?" Jean asked.

"No," Logan replied. He hadn't even thought to ask anything about that. "Is the kid still having nightmares?" he asked.

Jean nodded. "He won't tell anyone what happened."

"Not even 'Ro?" Logan questioned.

"No," Jean informed him. "Ororo tries every night, but he won't tell her."

"Do we have any guesses?" Logan asked.

"He's terrified of the dark," she informed him.

"The kid can see in the dark," Logan replied.

"She's finally gotten him to just keep a few nightlights on."

"Anything else?"

"I don't know Logan," she admitted. "He's very nervous in the danger room."

"That's not really surprising," Logan countered.

Jean sighed.

"Does he talk about Lilly at all?" Logan asked.

"No," Jean admitted. "He once called me that when he was waking up in the medlab though. Who is she?"

"I'm not sure," Logan admitted. "Can you do me a favor and let me know if he mentions her?"

"Sure," Jean replied, "but you need to stop grilling him."

"I know," he agreed, "I will."

She smiled and hugged him, "it's good to have you home."

"It's good to be home," he replied as he held her.


	27. Chapter 27

_**Remy:_

Remy sat eating breakfast with Ororo. He wasn't hungry at all and simply pushed the fruit and pancakes around his plate in an effort to appease his companion. "Remy, did Logan truly upset you this badly?" she asked him.

He could hear the concern in her voice and felt guilty for not telling her about his conversation with Sinister. "I'm not upset," he replied before forcing a forkful of food into his mouth. He tried to give the illusion of unconcern and hoped that Ororo would drop it.

She set her hand on top of his as she gently said, "Remy you didn't sleep at all last night," and he simply looked at her unable to deny it. "What did Logan say that upset you?" she persisted.

"Nothing," he insisted. It wasn't Logan's fault after all. Surprisingly his conversation with Logan hadn't upset him that greatly. It was only the joke about him being Creed's son that had upset him; Logan had been too close to the truth. Remy was glad that Logan was back but at the same time he was worried. If Logan persisted, then Remy would be forced to tell him about his connection to Sinister.

"Why do you insist on lying to me?" She asked patiently.

"I'm not lying Stormy," he insisted. He pushed his plate away and took a sip of coffee. Despite the fitful night of sleep that he had, he wasn't tired. He was actually thankful that he hadn't had any nightmares.

"I can only help you if you let me," Storm informed him.

He was so annoyed with their persistence, "I don't need any help," he insisted. As soon as he said the words he regretted them. He was very thankful that the X-Men were willing to help him. He just felt lost. He had been betrayed by the X-Men and then by Essex in the span of only a few days and he had no one else to turn to.

It may seem wrong to anyone else but his time with Essex had been so traumatic because he hadn't anticipated it. Even when the man had warned him of the consequences of his resistance Remy never anticipated that it would get as bad as it did. Nor did he think Essex would allow it to go on as long as it had.

He knew his best option was to just accept Essex's deal. He could return willingly to the man and demand that he have no involvement with the Marauders. That way everyone would be safe, his own misery shouldn't dismiss the idea.

"I do not know what you want me to say," Storm admitted.

Remy felt bad about his outburst, "I'm sorry Stormy," he offered.

"You do not need to constantly apologize to me," she informed him with a smile.

He couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't simply be another apology so he tried to smile back.

"Morning 'Ro, kid," Logan said casually as he entered the kitchen.

Ororo tensed slightly as he entered but said, "good morning."

Remy watched him intently but didn't reply.

"Want a real breakfast kid?" Logan asked as he looked down at Remy's uneaten plate. Remy knew that to Logan a real breakfast consisted of bacon, ham and eggs; not the fruit and pancakes that currently cluttered his plate.

"I'm not hungry," Remy informed him.

"Remy you must eat," Storm persisted again.

"Leave the kid alone Ro, if he doesn't want to eat then don't make him." Logan defended.

Remy's nervousness dissolved with the comment and he smiled.

"I'm sorry about yesterday kid," Logan told him.

"It's alright," Remy admitted. He wasn't mad at Logan, he was just nervous that the man would figure out who he was much too soon. Sinister had given him a few weeks and Remy intended to use all of it before making a decision. He had already realized that he would have to ask Xavier to help him find Tori, but he didn't want to find her for Sinister in case it had only been a bluff.

"Whatcha up to today?" Logan asked.

Remy wasn't sure who the question was directed at but he was thankful when Ororo answered instead. He didn't listen to her response but caught that it had something to do with Professor Xavier and a team builder. Remy didn't care too much about that, instead he found himself lost in thought again.

He swirled the dark liquid around in his cup as he tried to find a solution to his current situation. Essex had been too forgiving the night before and Remy wasn't sure what to make of it. He had escaped the man's clutches before and each time there had been a penalty for it, but this time Sinister was offering him a free pass. Maybe the man realized that instead of gaining Remy's loyalty when he easily could have done it, he destroyed any possibility of that ever happening.

Now he had threatened Tori. It didn't matter to Remy that Essex had intended their relationship from the very beginning. He didn't care that it had been planned that the two of them would have powerful children. He truly loved Tori and he wouldn't let anything happen to her, that's what led him to make the deal with Essex years ago. He wasn't sure exactly how Essex had found her, but he knew that the man had more resources then would be necessary to find anyone. Still, he wasn't sure that the man wasn't lying.

"Remy," Ororo said his name and he realized he must have missed a question while he had been lost in thought. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he told her again. "Just tired," he explained.

"Nightmares?" Logan asked.

Remy was pretty sure that Logan already knew that answer but he nodded anyways.

"I got some pretty nasty ones too kid," Logan admitted. "Wanna talk about them?"

"No," Remy said tiredly, why did everyone feel that they had a right to know what happened to him? He set his coffee cup back on the table and stood up.

"We don't have to talk about that Remy, please sit back down," Ororo encouraged.

"Tell Jean I'll be outside," he told them as he walked out of the room.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"Come on kid, we're going out," Logan stated as he found Remy watching TV by himself. Logan had been standing in the doorway observing Remy flip aimlessly through channels for several minutes before speaking. He had decided that he was tired of watching Remy hide in the mansion and he was determined that it was going to end.

Remy looked up startled, "no," he insisted.

"Ain't a question," Logan countered, "let's go." He could smell Remy's fear heighten immediately and second guessed his choice of words. He didn't mean to scare the kid, but he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Where?" he watched Remy check his pockets to make sure he had enough cards hidden.

"I ain't gonna hurt you kid, but I'm sick of watching you sulk around here." He figured being direct might get through to Remy.

"Where do I have to go?" Remy asked nervously. Logan again regretted that he had phrased it as an order.

"We're going to Harry's," Logan admitted.

"Non," Remy insisted once again.

"Kid," Logan began before hesitating on his next wording. He still wasn't willing to take no for an answer.

"Where are we really going?" Remy asked.

Logan was confused and annoyed that Remy kept asking the same question, "we're going to Harry's."

"You're lying," Remy insisted.

"No kiddo, I'm not," Logan confirmed. "Where are you worried we'd be going?"

"I don't know," Remy answered confused.

"Do you trust me kid?" Logan asked uncertain.

"Don't trust anyone," Remy informed him.

Without a word Logan turned and walked towards the door. He didn't know what else to say to Remy, he hadn't realized that Remy had never trusted him.

"Wait," Remy called to him before he walked out of the room.

He turned to look at the kid and although his face didn't give away any emotion he could plainly see the panic in his eyes. Logan didn't say a word because he didn't want to interrupt Remy's thoughts.

"I'll go," Remy admitted. "Just Harry's," he insisted.

"Yeah kid, just Harry's," Logan confirmed. Maybe Remy trusted him despite his words. "Do you need time to get ready?" Logan asked.

Remy nodded.

"Meet me in the garage in thirty minutes," Logan said before once again walking away. This time Remy didn't stop him.

The half hour was for Remy's benefit because Logan was ready to go immediately. He tried his best to waste the time quickly but still made his way downstairs with fifteen minutes to spare.

An idea formed in his mind and he set out to find Scott, an odd feeling hit him when he realized that looking for Cyke had become too frequent of an occurrence.

He knocked on the door to Scott's office, which by itself might seem odd, but he was asking for a favor so he figured he should start the conversation off right. "Come in," he heard the response.

He opened the door and asked, "can I borrow your bike?"

"Why?" Scott questioned. "Use your own."

"It's for the kid," Logan explained.

"He wants to use it?" Scott questioned uncertain.

"I'm hoping he will," Logan confessed. He hadn't asked Remy but was hoping to convince him when he entered the garage.

"Make sure Gambit doesn't destroy her," Scott said while handing him the keys. "I didn't mean that," Scott added as the meaning of his words must have hit him.

Logan nodded and left Scott alone with his guilt.

Logan was tense as he walked to the garage, so many things could go wrong tonight. He was completely unsure of what Remy's reaction would be. He had beat the kid to the garage just like he planned and he stood leaning against his Jeep waiting.

Remy walked in looking almost like the last few weeks hadn't happened. His eyes gave away his nervousness though and Logan could smell his fear even though it seemed to be faint. "Ready?" Logan questioned him as Remy approached.

Remy nodded his head and Logan loathed the fake smile that graced the Cajun's face.

"Which bike ya want?" Logan questioned as he held out the keys.

Remy shook his head, but still remained silent. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he looked out through the opened garage door.

"Come on kid," Logan encouraged as he walked towards the far wall where the motorcycles were always parked.

He heard Remy approach behind him and he purposely turned his gaze to the bike that Scott was currently in the middle of building. It wasn't assembled yet, but the parts revealed that it was the same type of bike that Remy use to own. He looked back at Remy to find him staring at the bike with sparkling eyes.

"It ain't ready yet kid, but Cyke's been working pretty hard." He watched as Remy bit his bottom lip and his eyes remained wet. His hands clenched into fists but Logan didn't sense any anger. "If you give him a hand I'm sure it'll get done faster," Logan encouraged. He now felt like he was simply talking to himself since Remy still hadn't said a word.

Remy turned around and walked back across the garage without saying a word.

"Kid," Logan shouted trying to stop him.

"Ain't a kid Logan," Remy demanded as he stopped without turning to face him.

Logan smiled. "Then why ya acting like one?" he asked without thinking.

"We ain't all unbreakable," Remy admitted with his quivering voice reinforcing the statement.

Logan instantly regretted his spontaneous words. When Remy didn't move or turn to face him Logan approached the younger man slowly. "Remy," Logan said his name purposely but didn't have anything to follow the word with. Remy didn't move as Logan reached him. "We're trying," Logan finally admitted when he couldn't come up with anything better.

Remy nodded and turned around to face him. "So am I," he informed Logan. Logan was impressed and saddened that Remy's eyes no longer revealed any emotion.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Remy:_

"We're trying," Logan finally admitted when he couldn't come up with anything better.

Remy nodded and turned around to face him. "So am I," he informed Logan.

They stared at each other in silence for several long moments. Remy didn't know what to say and he figured that Logan didn't either. Remy wanted to walk away; he just wanted to get away from everyone. The thought was pathetic and he hated himself for being so weak.

Eventually, he looked around Logan and back towards the bikes and he wasn't surprised when Logan followed his gaze. "I don't want it," Remy admitted.

"Why?" Logan asked seriously. His voice didn't sound angry but Remy was worried that was exactly what it would become.

He shoved his shaky hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, "they'll just destroy it again." Admitting his fear hadn't been as hard as Remy had anticipated it would be. Awaiting Logan's response now became the hard part.

"You honestly believe that don't you?" Logan questioned him as he turned back to face Remy.

Remy swallowed painfully, his throat dry in anticipation. "Oui," he admitted trying, but failing to look at Logan.

Logan sighed. "Do you still wanna go to Harry's?" Logan asked.

Remy was confused; he hadn't wanted to go to begin with. Thinking for a moment he realized that he did want to get out of the mansion so he nodded in affirmation. Before Logan could say anything else he entered the passenger side of Logan's jeep, leaving no room for argument.

"I'll be right back kid," Logan explained as he walked back into the kitchen. This time Remy didn't object to the name and he realized he probably never would again.

Remy's gaze once again shifted to the motorcycles across the garage and he wished that his pride would allow him to accept the new bike. He frowned as he realized that it would never be possible.

He didn't outwardly acknowledge Logan's return, but he heard the man enter the driver's seat and start the jeep. The drive to Harry's Bar was done in silence. Remy carefully studied the road to make sure that Logan hadn't lied to him. He was pretty certain that he had held his breath part of the time, but as they arrived he wasn't as relived as he had thought he would be to find that their destination really was Harry's.

Remy heard Logan exit the Jeep and close the door behind him, but he couldn't convince himself to move. He still sat staring out the windshield with his seatbelt fastened when Logan opened the passenger side door of the Jeep. "You coming?" he asked.

Remy suddenly wished that he had taken Scott's bike, because then he wouldn't have to worry about Logan leaving him behind. He shook his head; he had lost his courage to do this somewhere along the drive.

Logan sighed, but Remy didn't care if he had annoyed the older man. "Fine," Logan said impatiently, "Stay there if you want, but I'm gonna go have a beer."

Remy hadn't been prepared for that; he assumed Logan would just take him back. This had been a stupid idea. "Can we just go back to the mansion?" Remy asked nervously.

"You had your chance to say no back there," Logan informed him as he stepped back from the car and moved to close the door. "I didn't drive out here just to turn around," he added.

Logan still held onto the car door and Remy realized that he was waiting for a response. Remy didn't know what to say, he wasn't sure what to do.

"What are you scared of?" Logan asked him.

"You'll leave me here," Remy admitted quietly. The objection seemed ridiculous even to Remy, but it was the truth even if he had been reluctant to admit it.

"Here," Logan said while handing him the keys. "Now you don't go leaving me," he encouraged.

Remy slipped the keys into his pocket quickly and nodded.

"Now can we go in?" Logan asked impatiently.

Remy nodded and exited the car. The two of them found a corner table unoccupied and quickly sank into it. "Remy, it's good to see ya back here," Harry greeted after a few minutes.

Remy nodded and they both ordered beers. Remy looked around the bar suspiciously, he hoped that this wasn't some kind of set up. Although admittedly, his rational mind didn't believe Logan would be involved in anything like that.

"I'm pretty sick of the cold shoulder act kid," Logan informed him.

Remy wasn't doing it on purpose, "just don't have nothin to say," he replied. That was the truth; he had no idea what to talk about with the X-Men. He didn't know how to have a normal conversation anymore.

"That never use to stop you," Logan replied jokingly.

Remy offered him a small smile in response.

"Relax," Logan encouraged. "I don't judge kid, and you know that," he added.

Remy nodded and took a gulp of the beer that Harry brought to the table.

"You're doing it again," Logan informed him. "I feel like I'm talking to myself," he tried joking once again.

"Sorry Logan," Remy offered.

"That's gotta stop too," Logan told him.

"What?" Remy asked. He wasn't sure what Logan was talking about.

"Stop apologizing all the time," Logan replied.

Remy sat silently again when he realized he couldn't think of a reply. He admitted to himself that Logan was right, he was bad company. "Don't know what to say," Remy admitted as he nervously peeled off the label on his beer.

"Wanna play some pool?" Logan suggested.

"Sure," Remy replied as he finished off his beer. The dark liquid tasted amazing and he stood up to get himself another.

"Get me another one," Logan asked. "I'll go grab a table," he continued.

* * *

_**Logan:_

Logan glared at a group of people and found a pool table suddenly free. He wasn't sure how he was going to get the kid to loosen up, but he was determined to keep trying. He set up the pool balls and grabbed a cue stick from against the wall.

Remy walked up slowly and handed him a beer. "Wanna break?" Logan asked him. He was surprised when Remy shook his head and leaned against the wall near the table.

Logan took the first shot and when he glanced back at Remy he realized that the kid wasn't paying attention to him. Instead Remy's eyes scanned the small bar uneasily. Logan purposely missed his next shot in hopes of getting Remy involved in the game.

When Remy didn't notice that it was his turn, Logan walked over to him and touched his shoulder. He realized his mistake as Remy spun around quickly and swung at him with a cue stick. Seconds before the stick hit Logan, Remy pulled back. Remy's eyes were wide in panic and he quickly stepped away from Logan.

"It's okay kid," Logan tried to reassure. "I ain't mad," he informed the younger man sincerely.

"Didn't mean to," Remy insisted.

"I know, it's alright," Logan tried to convince him. "What were you thinking about?" he asked curiously.

"Don't know," Remy replied.

"Are you worried that Sinister's gonna find you here?" Logan asked quietly.

Remy shook his head.

"Do you think he's gonna come after you?" Logan tried again.

Remy nodded.

"Wanna talk about it?" Logan asked hopeful.

Logan wasn't surprised when Remy shook his head.

"Your turn kid," Logan informed him as he motioned for the table. He could see the relief pass over Remy's face as he changed the subject.

He watched Remy's turn carefully and was annoyed when the kid missed; they were not going to play like this. He may have let Remy get away with it a few weeks ago, but his patience was completely spent. "You play to win or we don't play at all Cajun," he informed Remy.

Remy nodded in understanding, but failed to have any other reaction.

"Wanna go home?" Logan asked him. Logan had hoped that this outing would help the kid, but it didn't seem to be having any positive effect on him.

"Non," Remy informed him.

"You sure kid?" Logan asked. He couldn't stop calling him kid; it was just a natural reaction.

"Yeah," Remy replied, "gonna play."

Logan smiled. "Go again," he encouraged.

This time Remy really played and he had most of the table cleared when he missed once again. Without a word Logan walked up to take his turn.

"Why you bring me here?" Remy questioned as he finished off his second beer.

Logan didn't look up from the table as he replied, "I want my friend back."

"Don't know how to be him," Remy admitted.

Logan looked over with a smile, "guess we'll have to work on that then."

"Don't think I'll be around long enough," Remy admitted.

That was one of the things Logan was waiting to hear, "why?" he asked.

"He'll be back."

"Yeah, you've already said that. Why do you think he'll be back?"

"Because he will," Remy insisted.

Logan was unsure of what to make of the statement, it didn't really answer anything. "Want another beer?" Logan questioned instead of probing further. He figured that after another beer the kid might open up a little more.

"Oui," Remy acknowledged.

"I'll be right back," he informed Remy. Before he turned he saw Remy quickly check his pocket to make sure that he still possessed the keys. Logan sighed at the site and tried to figure out how to regain Remy's trust.

A couple of beers later they moved back to their table because Remy's pool skills had decreased and his few words were slurred. Logan hadn't meant to get the kid drunk, but he wasn't going to stop him either.

"Logan," Remy said suddenly, his voice very serious.

"Yeah Remy," Logan replied just as seriously.

"Why'd you go after 'Tooth?" his words were slightly slurred, but Logan could tell he was still very present in their conversation.

"I needed answers and you weren't talking," Logan explained.

"Did he give you answers?" Remy questioned.

"Some," Logan admitted.

"And you're still talking to me?" Remy asked while rubbing his eyes.

"You okay kid?" Logan questioned.

"Oui," Remy insisted.

"I think it's time to go," Logan explained.

"Non," Remy replied.

"You're about to pass out kid," Logan replied. "Come on, let's get you home."

"Don't have a home," Remy insisted.

"Course you do," Logan countered.

"Why'd you come find me?" Remy asked.

Logan wasn't sure how drunk Remy really was, but if his observations were right, he may not remember any of this in the morning. "You should never have been left behind. We came as soon as I found out you were alive."

"Why?" Remy persisted.

"Cause you're our friend Rem," Logan explained.

"Don't have any friends!" Remy insisted as he slammed his beer bottle down.

"Yes you do," Logan told him calmly.

Remy didn't acknowledge the comment.

"Come on kid, let's go," Logan insisted again as he stood up.

"'Kay," Remy replied before following Logan out the door. Remy easily handed over the keys as they approached the jeep and fell asleep only moments after climbing in.

After parking the Jeep in the garage, Logan lifted Remy out of the car easily. He noted that the kid was much too light and he regretted not forcing him to eat earlier. Remy didn't stir as he was carried into the mansion and Logan paused momentarily as he tried to figure out where to take him. He had been told that Remy hated his old room, but he wasn't happy with the idea of taking him up to Ororo's loft in the state that he was in. He decided to take Remy to his old room anyways, if anything happened Logan would only be across the hall. He laid Remy down on his bed and remembering Jean's warning, he switched on the lamp that sat on Remy's nightstand before leaving the room.

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone who is still reading this story, and a special thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review. I hope to have the next chapter out very soon. As always, I hope you enjoyed -- Callie


	29. Chapter 29

_**Remy:_

His head pounded as consciousness returned to him. He brought a hand up to cover his eyes and sank back into his pillow. It took a few moments for awareness to completely return but when it did he removed his hand slowly to check where he was. Relief flooded him as he realized that he was in his room at the mansion. He glanced around wearily because he didn't remember returning to his room the night before. One look at his attire revealed that he hadn't changed his clothes either.

He never meant to get drunk; the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He had less alcohol the night before then it should have taken to get him drunk. At some point in the night he had felt the need to keep up with Logan which was both irrational and unwise. Even so, he couldn't convince himself to stop.

The fact that he found himself waking up in his own bed meant that Logan hadn't left him behind, or worse. He smiled despite the painful headache that plagued him. He would have to thank the man when he saw him. He laughed as the thought of his confidence returning to him amongst a hangover amused him. Unfortunately his body didn't agree with his amusement and he found himself running to the bathroom.

His head pounded as he emptied his stomach and sat down upon the cold tiled floor. He should be miserable, but he wasn't. He was happy to know that Logan hadn't been lying. He was happy to know that he had a friend. He hoped that it could last and didn't want to dwell on the fact that it probably wouldn't. He felt more alive than he had in weeks.

He heard the gentle tapping on his door, but didn't call out. "Remy," Storm called his name quietly a few seconds after he heard the door open.

"Ain't feeling so good," he admitted just as quietly.

"Did you have a good night?" she asked as she entered the bathroom and filled a cup with water.

He figured she meant to be condescending, but he answered honestly anyways. "Oui," he informed her with a genuine smile. She handed him the cup and he rinsed out his mouth. "Merci," he added as he placed the emptied cup upon the floor beside him.

"Can I help you back to bed?" she questioned.

"Non, I best stay here," he told her. She sat down beside him and rubbed his back gently in response. "You don't have to stay," he informed her with a smile still gracing his face.

"Why are you so happy this morning?" she questioned amused as she continued to rub his back.

"No nightmares," he admitted without looking at her.

"That is good to hear," she told him.

When the urge to throw up returned, Storm held back his hair without a judgmental word. That surprised him.

He sat back down and she filled a new glass of water. "Merci," he said as he accepted the glass.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked with concern.

"Non," he told her, "I be fine Stormy." He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

"Logan should not have gotten you this drunk," she said with a frown.

He laughed again. He wanted to explain it to Storm, but he couldn't find the words. Getting Remy back to the mansion had proved to him that he could trust Logan completely. If the man had wanted to kill him or hurt him or lose him or anything else he could have done it easily the night before. "I trust him now," he admitted self-consciously. The words were both too simple and too complex to explain the situation and Remy wasn't sure if Ororo truly had a right to have heard them.

"Perhaps we should have gotten you drunk weeks ago then," Storm suggested with a laugh. He was thankful that she had broken the tension. "I have longed to see you smile again."

He gave her another genuine smile before he attempted to rise from the floor. "Think it be time to go back to bed," he informed her.

"Of course," she replied as she helped him stand. His head spun and he almost gave in to the urge to sit back down. "Come Remy," she encouraged as she held him still.

"The room just decided to spin around me," he joked.

"I have missed you brother," she told him as she pulled him close to her.

"Been here for weeks Stormy," he replied confused.

"No Remy," she told him as she looked up at him to stare into his eyes. "The man you've been the last few weeks was not my brother."

Remy pulled out of her arms irritated and almost lost his balance. Why did they have to judge him so harshly? Did they really think he enjoyed being frightened? Did they truly think he wanted to be suspicious of their every action and suggestion? "Go away Stormy," he insisted.

"I am sorry Remy," she admitted. "I did not mean to upset you. I am simply glad to see you happy once again."

He could see the tears shining in her eyes and felt the too familiar tinge of guilt in his heart. He wanted to be angry at her comment, but he couldn't be. She had spoken the truth and it wasn't her fault that he didn't want to hear it. "Sorry Stormy," he admitted as he opened his arms back up to her.

"Stop apologizing," she insisted as she wrapped her arms around him once again.

He laughed as he remembered Logan's demand the night before.

"What?" she questioned confused.

"Logan say the same thing," he explained. "Don't know why it's funny," he admitted.

She couldn't help but chuckle herself. "Perhaps we should get you to bed now," she suggested.

"Oui," he conceded.

She placed a cup of water and two tylenols next to him on the nightstand. "Would you like me to stay?" she asked warmly.

"Non," he replied. "Just gonna sleep."

* * *

_**Logan:_

"What happened last night?" Ororo questioned Logan as she sat down beside him on the dock.

"Got the kid out of the house," Logan replied, "should have done it sooner." He was prepared to defend himself; he had plenty of reasons why he thought that Remy needed a night out.

"I agree," she replied catching him off-guard.

"You what?" he questioned. That he had not been prepared for. Anger, frustration, disapproval, annoyance, and condemnation now those he had been prepared for. Acceptance he had never even considered.

"I just left his room," she informed him. "Can I infer that you haven't spoken to him yet today?" she asked

"He's been passed out 'Ro," he replied annoyed. She nodded and he noticed her smile for the first time. "What's going on?" he asked confused. He had checked to make sure the kid was alright before he came outside, but that had been hours ago.

"He is happy," she informed him brightly. "He is. . ." she stumbled for a word and he was anxious.

"You've never been one to stutter darling."

"I simply don't know how to explain it Logan," she said. "He's my brother again." The joy and relief behind her words were apparent.

Logan snorted, "Ro he's got to be hung over after last night." He couldn't help it when his laughter erupted as he thought about 'Ro considering her brother to be a miserable, hung over Remy LeBeau.

"He is," she sighed, "I believe he's asleep once again."

"Then what are you babbling about?" he couldn't help but ask the question.

"He was happy Logan. I spoke with him and he seemed to be like his old self." She seemed unsure of herself this time. "Perhaps I imagined it," she confessed after a pause.

"Ro," he said her name hesitantly. He wasn't sure how to interpret her sudden mood change. "What happened?"

"Thank you for getting him home Logan," she stated before standing up.

He was completely confused now. "What is going on?" he demanded.

"I'm not sure Logan," she admitted. "I believe I was too optimistic, he was probably still drunk." She started to walk away and he stood up. He was tempted to stop her, but she looked determined to walk away from him so he remained silent. He wasn't sure continuing to speak with her would cure his confusion anyways.

After standing on the dock for a few more minutes, he sat back down. He hoped that Ororo was right, but he thought it was a little too much to believe that one night could have that big an effect on Remy. It hadn't even been fun, it had simply been awkward.

Eventually, his hunger forced Logan to walk slowly towards the mansion. The moment he entered the dining room where everyone was assembled for lunch he realized he had walked in on a debate. He sat down and filled a plate while he tried to catch up on the conversation.

"I just don't think it's a good time," Scott voiced and Logan was left to assume that it hadn't been the first time that he offered the opinion.

"You both have valid arguments," Beast added.

"I simply don't know who to agree with," Jean admitted and Logan loved how angry her response made Scott.

"We have other priorities at the moment," Ororo insisted.

"We aren't simply forgetting about our current affairs Ororo, but I believe it is imperative that we at least consider it." Professor Xavier had spoken convincingly and Logan found everyone else at the table nodding.

"What are we talking about?" Logan finally asked when he couldn't interpret anyone's response.

"Professor Xavier would like to reopen the school," Ororo answered him.

"Why now Chuck?" Logan questioned. He wasn't sure why he questioned it; he didn't particularly care either way. It just didn't seem like good timing to him.

"There are children out there who have no other place to turn too. Our doors have been closed for far too long. Don't all of you want to welcome back the students that we were forced to turn away?"

"Shouldn't we rebuild the team first?" Scott questioned.

"The two do not have to be independent of one another," Xavier insisted.

"Chuck's right," Logan admitted. "It's about time we started doing something besides moping around here." If he wasn't going to let Remy continue acting like a kid, then the X-Men shouldn't be doing it either.

"Logan you can't truly believe that," Jean insisted.

"Of course I do Darling."

"Jean, I believe Logan simply means that we have dwelled on the events of the past long enough. It is time to look towards the future," Xavier offered.

"Hank what do you think?" Jean asked.

"We must resume our duties as teachers and teammates eventually. Perhaps we should seize the opportunity now that the discussion has arisen."

"We do not have enough people to teach a full roster of students," Ororo added.

"That is why we should concentrate on recruiting for the team first," Scott insisted. "Perhaps we could convince some former members to return," he suggested.

Logan growled.

"I didn't mean Rogue and Warren," Scott insisted.

"What about Kitty?" Bobby added to the discussion for the first time. He blushed as everyone's attention turned to him. "Or not," he quickly said causing everyone to laugh.

"I believe we must reflect upon this before deciding," Ororo added as the laughter died down.

"Of course," Professor Xavier admitted. "It is not a decision we should make lightly."

"Agreed," Scott felt he needed to add.

"Yeah, let's eat," Logan insisted.


	30. Chapter 30

_**Remy:_

"NNNNOOO," he shot up in bed as his own scream awoke him. He tried to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks but found that he was unable to. He couldn't seem to breathe so panic set in even more.

"Kiddo," Logan's voice oozed concern through the door, but Remy only vaguely realized it.

He gasped as he tried to shake off the effects of his nightmare, but without Storm he wasn't able to escape it.

Logan entered the room a few seconds later and sat down in front of him on the bed. "You're okay Kid," he insisted, "you're safe here."

Remy tried to concentrate on his words and presence but it wasn't enough, Remy was still lost in his past.

"Remy," Logan whispered as he hesitantly touched Remy's forearms.

"Logan," Remy whispered as he was finally able to escape his nightmare.

"Yeah kiddo, I'm right here," he assured the younger man.

Remy quickly wiped his eyes embarrassed and Logan let go of him.

"Ain't nothing to be embarrassed about," Logan insisted, "but you do have to talk about it eventually."

Remy nodded as his breathing returned to normal. He let his back rest against the headboard and stared at Logan to make sure he was really there.

"Come on kiddo, tell me what happened."

"Logan," Remy said his name then averted his eyes immediately. He didn't want to talk about it, but he needed someone to understand. He had nightmares long before his last encounter with Sinister, but they hadn't been as consistent before. Now they happened every night and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Want me to get 'Ro?"

Remy shook his head, "non."

"I'm out of ideas kid," Logan admitted.

"What?" Remy questioned confused.

"I've tried everything I can think of," Logan explained. "What do I have to do to make you trust me?"

"I trust you Logan," Remy admitted quietly.

"Bullshit Rem," Logan spat, "you sure ain't actin like you trust me."

Remy let silence fall upon them as he tried to decide how to answer Logan. He trusted the man, but that didn't mean he was going to tell him everything. "Don't wanna talk about it," Remy admitted.

"And we've let you get away with that answer for weeks kid," Logan said frustrated. "If you don't tell us what happened we can't help you get past it."

"You a doctor now?" Remy questioned in an attempt to divert Logan's attention.

"Ain't gonna work kiddo," Logan assured him.

"What you wanna know?" Remy asked wearily.

"How 'bout you tell me why you're afraid of the dark," Logan suggested. "You can see in the dark Cajun, it don't make any sense."

"Not afraid of the dark," Remy insisted. He knew Logan would see through the lie immediately but he didn't have any other response prepared.

Logan frowned deeply, "kid, we all know that you are. I ain't judging you; I'm just trying to figure out how to get you over it."

"Merci for getting me home Logan," Remy tried to change the subject again.

"Told ya I wasn't leaving you," Logan insisted.

"Oui," Remy said with a smile.

"You must be hungry," Logan stated.

"Oui," Remy replied again as he looked at the clock and realized it was now 12:45 in the afternoon.

"How's your headache?"

"Not bad," Remy assured him. He felt a lot better now that he had slept it off, and he was relieved that Logan had let him change the subject so dramatically.

"You better shower and get dressed then," Logan encouraged. "I'll get 'Ro to make you something to eat."

"Can make it myself," he insisted.

"Yeah, but you ain't been eating lately and I'm not about to let it go anymore."

"Why you being so demanding?" He questioned.

"I've been watching both sides of this kid and I think we're all ready to move on."

"Cut your losses?" He asked alarmed. Even though he was well aware that the X-Men would throw him out eventually, he still hadn't come up with an alternative place to go.

"No," Logan reassured immediately. "That ain't what I meant."

"It what you said," Remy insisted. In his mind that's exactly what Logan had meant; the X-Men were done dealing with him and his problems.

Logan sighed. "Why do you interpret everything so wrong?"

"Better to be suspicious," Remy replied. That was how he had learned to live his life, but he had forgotten the fact a little more each day that he had been an X-Man. Now the desperate need from his youth was back and he was once again suspicious of everything.

"You said you trusted me," Logan insisted.

"Oui," Remy conceded.

"Then tell me something real kid."

Remy's heart raced as he tried to think of a reply. "Whatcha mean Logan?" he asked in order to stall the older man.

"Tell me something real kid," he told him again. "Answer any of the questions we've asked. Pick something kid, anything to talk about."

Remy's head spun. He wasn't sure what to admit to Logan, he wasn't sure which secret he was willing to give up. He shook his head, "trust you Logan, not the X-Men."

"I know kid," Logan assured him. "I won't tell anyone without your okay."

Remy looked out the window as his hands fiddled with the blankets that still covered his sitting form. "He would lock me up," he admitted slowly. He desperately wanted this particular fear to go away.

"I know kid," Logan responded sadly, "that's how we found you."

"Non," Remy insisted. "Can't see when it's completely dark," he tried to start his explanation differently.

"I've been out with ya Rem," Logan replied. "I know you can see in the dark just fine."

Remy stood up and moved towards the window. He grabbed his cigarettes along the way and lit one as he sat upon the window seat. "Not when it's completely dark," Remy admitted with a sob that he desperately tried to hide.

Logan moved beside him instantly, but didn't say anything.

Remy pulled his knees up to his chest and continued to stare out the window. He didn't trust himself to look at Logan. He had no desire to see the expression on the older man's face as Remy once again found his cheeks wet with unwanted moisture.

"What do you mean by completely dark?" As Logan asked the question Remy remembered that the X-Men would be able to use this against him.

"Don't let them do it to me," Remy pleaded. He was torn between admitting the truth to Logan with the hope that it would help and desperately hiding the truth so that he didn't give the X-Men a way to torture him in the future.

"Remy," Logan sounded serious and Remy cringed as he wished he could take back what he had just admitted. "We ain't gonna hurt you. I wish you could understand that."

"They left me to die," Remy countered. He wasn't sure if the phrase was from his own thoughts or if it was a product of Essex's constant reminding. Either way it was the truth, and nothing Logan could say or do would change that fact.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He was angry at himself for letting the conversation get out of hand. He was angry at himself for once again causing the kid to breakdown. He had convinced himself that he knew how to help Remy, but as Remy uttered those last few words he realized how wrong his approach had been.

Logan grabbed the chair beside Remy's desk and moved towards Remy's perch upon the window seat. Turning the chair around he sat down straddling the back. "Okay Remy I realize I'm doing this all wrong. I get it, but I promise the X-Men aren't going to hurt ya."

"Wish ya were right," Remy replied.

"Kid, I promise whatever you tell me stays between us. I know nightmares, they won't just go away," he explained.

Remy nodded then looked back towards Logan. "He liked to lock me up in a room," Remy began to admit again.

"Like the cell I found ya in?" Logan asked when Remy suddenly stopped speaking.

"Non," Remy admitted. "It was like a box, a dark box. There was no light, just walls. I could never find the door, don't know how it worked, but I could never find it." Remy had his arms wrapped around his knees tightly and his gaze had shifted from Logan to his knees at some point during the admission. "I couldn't see; it was so dark. I'd never been in the dark before."

"Rem," Logan found himself chocking on the name. He hadn't expected an admission like that and he wasn't sure what he should do. He stood up from the chair and walked over to where Remy was seated but didn't reach out to touch the younger man. "I swear I will never let that happen again," he promised.

Remy looked up at him, "don't make promises that you can't keep."

He realized that Remy was right, but he would do whatever it took to keep it from ever happening again.

"I shouldn't have told you that," Remy said in sudden panic.

"Why do you say that kid? We can help you through it now," Logan tried to reassure. He wasn't sure why Remy had the sudden change of heart.

"You'll use it against me," Remy admitted.

"Never," Logan assured the younger man. He couldn't imagine doing that to anyone and he certainly wouldn't let the X-Men use a tactic like that. He was angry that Remy believed the X-Men would even be capable of such a thing.

"Again with the promises."

Logan didn't have the right words; he didn't know the best approach. He shouldn't have been the person having this conversation with Remy. It should have been Jean or Ororo they would know what to say and what to do. He didn't have a clue. "Remy I can promise you that I'll never let them use it against you. They don't even have to know, but I do think that 'Ro should know." Ororo had a right to know why she was forced to sleep in a brightly lit room, and why she was forced to wake every night to her brother's tortured screams. However, Logan wouldn't force the issue.

When Remy didn't reply, Logan's worry increased. He watched the kid stare out through the window he was perched upon for several long minutes. He wasn't sure what else to say either. He shouldn't have gotten so demanding if he wasn't prepared to hear the answers that Remy was giving. "You can tell her," Remy finally spoke.

"I won't if you don't want me to," Logan assured. He really meant that statement. He wasn't lying to Remy when he told him that he knew nightmares. Logan had his fair share of nighttime demons and he knew how personal they could be, but he also knew how hard it was to battle them alone.

"Stormy can know," Remy stated.

Logan smiled at him even though Remy still hadn't turned back to him. They were making progress even if it was slow-moving. He really couldn't ask for anything more from Remy at the moment, if his admission was only one of the things that happened to him while he was in Sinister's captivity then they had plenty more to deal with.

"Only Stormy," Remy insisted again and Logan suddenly realized that he was awaiting an assurance that Logan wouldn't tell anyone else.

"I promise kid, I'm only gonna talk to 'Ro," He tried to reassure, but he wasn't oblivious to the suspicion that still radiated from Remy.

He watched Remy fumble with a new cigarette and tried to figure out what to say or do next. "Need to get back in shape," Remy informed hi m as he broke the silence after a few minutes.

"That I can help ya with," Logan admitted with a smile.

"Thought so," Remy responded with a grin that almost fooled Logan into thinking that things were back to normal. As he saw the smile he realized what Storm had been trying to explain earlier.

"You need a shower," Logan informed him with a laugh.

Remy responded with laughter of his own, "not my fault some old man got me drunk last night," he defended.

"Old man, huh kid?" he joked as he tried not to intimidate Remy.

"Oui. Wasn't really my fault," he explained.

Logan was relieved to see a glimpse of his old friend. "I suppose you got some way of blaming me for your lack of self control?" he asked as he purposely played into Remy's words.

The grin that he was awarded with made playing into the verbal sparring worth it. "You the one who kept finishin so quick."

"And who decided it was a good idea to keep up with someone with a healing factor huh?"

"Forgot to factor that in," Remy admitted with a shrug.

Logan couldn't help the laughter that escaped him at the admission. He was so amused by the response that tears prickled the corners of his eyes. "You've gotta be joking kid," he finally forced out.

"Oui," Remy assured him amused.

He stepped away from the window and sat back down in the chair he had previously occupied. "Seriously though, are we okay kid?" he asked. There was no joking involved; it was a very important question.

"Oui," Remy admitted and Logan believed him when he didn't sense a lie. "Merci for last night," he added.

"Anytime Remy," Logan assured relieved. They may not have figured everything out yet, but it was a start.

He was momentarily startled when Remy stood from his seat and walked past him. He followed the man's path with his eyes, "gonna take a shower," Remy informed him.

"I'll see if there's anything left from lunch," Logan replied as he stood up from the chair and walked towards the door. "Come down when you're done."

Logan was slightly disappointed when Remy simply nodded. He had hoped for some more bantering or maybe another objection from him.


	31. Chapter 31

_**Remy:_

The next day he was sitting on the dock with his legs dangling only inches above the lake. His dark boots protected his feet from the cold as he sometimes grazed the water as he swung his legs. He wore Jeans that were slightly too large and a long sleeve shirt under a fall jacket that he had claimed as his own.

He absentmindedly threw charged cards across the lake and only vaguely watched as they exploded. Sometimes the water splashed back up at him, but he ignored it. He knew he was almost out of time and he needed to act soon. He was fairly sure that Logan would help him, but he wasn't truly ready to admit that he needed the man's help; that he needed the X-Men's help. He only recently admitted to himself that they all had a right to know that Sinister was coming.

He heard someone approach him, and turned to see who it was. Jean smiled at him as she sat down beside him. "I missed you this morning," she informed him.

"I'm done training," he replied.

"We aren't done Remy," she insisted.

"You can't help me anymore," Remy informed her.

"You should want to try," she insisted again.

"I have control," he said dryly as he continued to stare out across the lake.

"We both know you don't have complete control," she replied.

He focused on a log on the other side of the lake and watched as it first glowed with energy then exploded. "Have enough control," he stated as he hoped that would be enough to convince her.

He needed to concentrate on Sinister now; he was running out of time quickly. He needed a plan and right now he couldn't think of one; he needed to think of one.

"Why have you suddenly changed of mind?" she asked

He felt bad for simply not showing up for their training session. He should have talked to her instead of avoiding her. "Wasn't thinking," he began, "should have talked to you first." He just couldn't seem to do anything right.

"Yes you should have," she agreed.

He hung his head and resisted the urge to walk away from her. "I'm sorry," he admitted sadly.

"It's alright," she said with a smile. "What are you thinking about?" she asked gently.

"Nothin Jeannie," he insisted. He certainly wasn't going to talk to her about this.

"Why do you insist on hiding things from us?" she asked, but he sensed that she wasn't angry.

"You're hiding things from me too," he countered

"We are not," Jean insisted.

He looked at her and sighed. He heard them talking about restarting the school and recruiting for the team. He needed to leave before they started boarding kids at the mansion again. He would not allow Sinister to hurt them; he didn't think he could survive that guilt.

"What do you believe we are hiding from you?" she asked suddenly worried.

"Nothing," he insisted as he lost his desire to fight this particular battle. However, he couldn't ignore the concern that was plainly evident on her face. "I know you are going to reopen the school and build a new team," he admitted eventually.

"I am sorry Remy. We did not intentionally exclude you from the discussion," she explained.

He sighed sadly, "probably wouldn't have come anyways," he informed her. "Not sure why I even mentioned it," he admitted as he looked away once again.

"You seem like you're ready to run," Jean said sadly.

"Non," Remy insisted. He wasn't running this time.

Jean grabbed hold of his hand gently and he turned to face her. "Just tell us what you need and we will help you," Jean reiterated.

"Merci," he whispered, he was tired of fighting with them.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while as they both stared at the lake. Remy was thankful for her silent support. "Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive us?" Jean asked and Remy was disappointed that she had broken their silence.

He let go of her hand gently and frowned. He opened his mouth to speak and sighed. He didn't know what to say; he wanted to simply tell her what she wanted to hear, but he couldn't force the words out. "I don't know," he finally answered.

He glanced at her to see her reaction and was surprised to see a sad smile grace her lips. "Thank you for trusting me with the truth," she told him as she caught his glance.

"I don't want to hate any of them," Remy admitted. "Just don't know how to stop blaming them." That really was the problem after all.

"You don't have to stop blaming them," she assured him as she reached for his hand once again. Her answer surprised him enough that he couldn't put up any resistance when she brought their intertwined hands into her lap. He continued to look out past the lake because he was too afraid to look back at her. "It was the team's fault Remy and I'm sorry that it happened," she continued, "but we have no idea how to make it right."

"I don't know," Remy admitted. He itched for a cigarette, but didn't want to let go of her hand so he resisted the urge. He blamed them for more than just leaving him in the bitterly cold Antarctic. He blamed them for his recent encounter with Sinister as well and that he didn't think he could forgive them for. He was fairly sure that Essex would have continued to leave him alone had the X-Men not abandoned him. The man had always been one to seize an opportunity when it was presented to him.

"Remy," she said his name so hesitantly that he realized she was about to say something he might not want to hear. "Do you think you can give the others a chance?" she asked.

He wasn't sure.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"Logan?" her voice questioned as she entered the garage.

"Yeah Jeannie," he called from the far wall. He had been working on his bike the last couple of hours, just tinkering to make sure his baby was running right. His clothes and hands were covered in oil and grease. He thought that Scott would be the one to find him in the garage; Logan had actually wanted to talk to the man for once.

She walked over to him and sat on a stool that she pulled from against the wall. She failed to say anything as she watched him finish what he was working on. He glanced up at her and smiled, he always enjoyed Jean's company and wasn't in a hurry to find out why she was seeking him.

Jean's relaxed position on the stool alluded that she wasn't in a hurry. He didn't look back up at her until he heard her soft sigh. "Something wrong?" he asked suddenly worried.

"Do you think we should really be reopening the school?" She asked him.

He shrugged and shook his head, "don't know Jeannie, but we gotta move on somehow." That morning they had another discussion about the future of the team and school. Almost everyone had agreed that they needed to begin preparations. However, everyone aside from the Professor still seemed hesitant.

"Do we have to though Logan?" she questioned and he put down his tools and gave her his full attention.

"What do you mean?" he questioned curiously.

"What if we all just need some more time?" she asked.

"More time to do what?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "More time to figure out what went wrong?"

"We all know what went wrong Jeannie," Logan answered with a growl. She looked away and he realized he may have been too harsh. He didn't think it was fair for Jean to feel guilty about what happened; she hadn't even been there.

"I don't mean," she began before pausing with a sigh.

"What do you mean then Red?" Logan asked when she didn't continue.

"It's not just the fact that they abandoned him," she explained and he couldn't stop the growl that responded to her statement. She ignored his response as she continued, "it's that no one seemed to care even after they returned to the mansion. Not only did the team not go back, but they celebrated."

"I'm on the kid's side Jeannie, so don't come asking me to make up excuses for them," he replied. "As far as I'm concerned he didn't even need to forgive 'Ro."

"Perhaps not," she agreed, "but Hank is devastated that Remy won't even talk to him."

"What if it had been Scott?" Logan asked.

"I've already pondered that," she admitted. "I'm not sure I could ever forgive them."

"Then stop trying to force Remy to forgive them," Logan suggested.

"He isn't simply punishing them," Jean replied.

"He ain't done nothin to Cyke," he insisted. "He just turned down his charity," he continued as he pointed to the half finished bike beside them.

"It wasn't charity," Jean informed him.

"Then what do you think it was?" he asked seriously.

"He meant well," she insisted.

Logan sighed, "I know that and the kid knows that, but that don't make it any easier to accept."

"He ignores the Professor as well," Jean stated.

"What do you want from me Jeannie?" he asked instead of replying to her statement.

"Nothing," she replied, "I just needed to talk to someone."

He could understand that. They could all use some venting from time to time. "You're doing all you can," he told her honestly.

"Remy skipped our training session this afternoon," Jean informed him.

He shrugged and resumed his work. What did she want him to do about it?

"Do you think he's going to leave?" she asked him.

The wrench that he was using slipped from his hand and he looked back up at her. "Why do you think that?"

"I found him on the dock and he just seemed jumpy again," she explained. "He looked like he was ready to run. Do you think he will?"

"No," Logan replied shaking his head and wiping his hands off on the towel that he had next to him.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked.

"Cause I ain't gonna let him," Logan stated as he stood. There was no way he would let the kid run without a good reason.


	32. Chapter 32

_**Remy:_

Remy was watching the World Series of Poker when Logan stormed into the rec room with an angry air surrounding him. He grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned off the TV without even a glance at Remy. "Was watching that," he insisted.

"I don't care," Logan informed him angrily.

Remy sat up from his lounging position on the couch and appraised the older man sadly, "what I do wrong now?"

"Jeannie said ya skipped your session this morning," Logan stated with what Remy interpreted as a glare.

"Why you care?" Remy asked as he stood up from the couch and moved to walk away.

"Not what I care about," Logan insisted as he moved to block Remy from leaving.

"Leave me 'lone," Remy insisted as he tried to get around the older man. He was confused by the anger and wanted to get away from Logan.

"Jean seems to think that you're ready to run," Logan told him.

So that's what this was about, he thought. Logan takes Jean's words as gospel but Remy's gotta prove every single thing he says to anyone. He was tired of all of it, "maybe I will," he lied. "Why ya care anyway? Just cause trouble around here. Figure most everyone be glad to get rid of me."

"Why ya lying to me?" Logan asked.

"Cause it don't matter what I say," Remy insisted.

"It matters," Logan told him.

Remy moved to step around him; the need to get out of the room was his only thought. Logan grabbed his arm to hold him back and Remy lashed out. "Don't touch me," he warned dangerously.

"I didn't come here to fight with ya," Logan insisted.

Remy hardly acknowledged his words as he struggled to loosen Logan's grip on his arm. "Let me go," he insisted again. He was angry and hurt and he needed to leave before he let Logan see any of that emotion. He needed to leave before his anger forced him to lose control.

"Kiddo, I'll let you go if you promise to talk to me," Logan tried to appease him.

"I ain't a kid, and I ain't your kid Logan. So let me go!" Somehow he managed to slip out of Logan's grip and he ran before he could question how.

He was well aware that Logan was practically on his heals as he ran up the stairs, but there was nothing he could do about it. He made it to his room and opened the door, but Logan wouldn't let him close it as he stepped in behind him. Remy gave in and moved to sit by the window as he forced himself to calm down. He watched Logan carefully as the older man closed the door and walked towards him. The man's body was tense and angry as he sat down in the desk chair that Remy had not moved back from the location he had placed it in the day before.

"Why'd you get so angry down there?" Logan finally asked him.

"I told Jeannie I ain't gonna run and first thing she does is tell you da opposite," he began explaining. "You believe her Logan. It wasn't even a question. Ya just think Jean said it so it gotta be true."

"It was a question kid," Logan insisted, "I ain't the best with words."

"No one ever believes me, I must always be lyin," Remy continued. "Was gonna ask you for help later, was gonna do right by the X-Men." He wasn't sure why the words were coming out of his mouth, but he was reluctant to stop them. He needed to tell Logan everything; running would do him no good. Sinister always knew how to find him.

"Help with what, Rem?" Logan asked concerned.

"He's coming," Remy said hesitantly. "I have about a week," he informed Logan.

"How do you know?" Logan questioned.

"He told me," Remy admitted. He wasn't sure yet how much he was going to admit to Logan, but it seemed likely that he would tell him everything. He desperately needed someone to understand.

Remy expected Logan to lash out at him either physically or verbally for not telling them earlier, but the man did neither. "Why's he coming?" Logan asked instead.

Remy looked out the window as he tried to decide how to answer the man. Logan's anger had calmed just like his own. He knew however that the moment he started explaining, the man's true anger would reveal itself. He hoped that Logan would allow him to explain everything before he decided whether he would help him or not. If Logan forced him to stop before he could fully explain than Remy knew he would think that Remy was a traitor just like the others had accused.

"You sure you wanna know?" Remy asked seriously. Once Logan knew there would be no taking it back. Once Logan knew, the X-Men would know that they had been right to be suspicious of him all along. He needed to somehow make Logan understand what he was getting involved in before it was too late.

Logan appraised him uncertainly and Remy tried not to squirm under his scrutinizing eyes. "Course I wanna know," Logan finally voiced his answer.

Remy felt he needed to warn the man farther so he add, "you ain't gonna like it."

"Figured as much," Logan informed him.

"He wants me to work for him," Remy admitted.

"Why?" Logan questioned once again.

"Made a deal with him a few years ago," Remy explained.

"What kinda deal?" Logan asked suspiciously.

Remy's nervousness increased as he tried to force himself to continue. He had decided that Logan didn't need to know who he was yet. He just hoped Logan wouldn't think he was lying when he failed to admit the complete truth. He had to start with telling the man about Tori, and he knew that wouldn't be easy. He was fairly certain that Logan had met her before.

"Remy," Logan said his name questioningly and Remy realized that he must have taken too long to answer.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"Guess I best show you," Remy told him as he stood up and moved across the room.

Logan watched with curious eyes as Remy reached his bed and began to push it across the floor. "Wait kid," he said as he suddenly realized what Remy was retrieving. He had forgotten about it entirely.

"What?" Remy asked confused.

"I'll be right back," he said as he stood up and left the room. He moved quickly to his own room and grabbed the box before returning immediately to Remy's.

When he returned the boys face paled. "Just took it so no one else would find it," he felt he needed to explain.

"So you already know then," Remy stated with fear and confusion visible on his face.

"I didn't open it," he admitted. Seeing Remy's reaction made him wish that he had checked the box's contents. However, they weren't his secrets to know unless Remy wanted them to be. Logan definitely didn't believe that people needed to share all of their secrets.

He watched the color return to Remy's face slowly and he stepped forward to place the box on top of Remy's bed. He saw the kid hesitate before reaching for it. His eyes only briefly looking away from Logan; it was only then that Logan feared how bad this admission was going to be.

"You really not look?" Remy questioned him again.

"No kid, I didn't open it." He tried to assure. He hoped that this wasn't going to stop Remy from trusting him.

Remy looked away from him and opened the box. Logan resisted the urge to look down at its contents as he heard Remy shuffle through what sounded like papers.

"Made a deal to work for Essex as long as my wife gets to be free of da man," Remy admitted to him. "I gotta find her before he does, but he may already have her," Remy continued. While Remy spoke he looked down at what looked like a photograph from Logan's angle.

"Why you so scared to admit that kid?" Logan questioned.

Remy handed him the photo that he had been holding and Logan immediately understood his hesitation. "You do know who this is right?" he growled dangerously. The picture showed a tall woman in her very early twenties with blue eyes, long golden blond hair, and an all too familiar grin.

"Oui," Remy said without hesitation and Logan wished that he had somehow misunderstood Remy's earlier words. This couldn't be Remy's wife, it simply couldn't be. "She's Tori LeBeau," Remy insisted.

"No kid," Logan denied. "This is Victoria Creed," he stated. "I ain't helping you save a Creed," he said with finality.

"She ain't a Creed no more," Remy tried to convince him.

"Is that why he helped you?" Logan growled as he threw the picture down on Remy's bed.

"Non," Remy insisted, "don't know why he helped."

"Damn it Remy!" Logan yelled frustrated. He had just spent weeks defending the Cajun only to find out that the X-Men had been right about him all along.

"Just cause she's his daughter don't make her bad," Remy tried to insist.

"She's a Creed!" Logan yelled again.

"She ain't like him," Remy defended and Logan was vaguely aware that Remy's words had a deeper meaning.

"She was a Marauder kid," Logan countered.

"We don't always got choices," Remy explained.

"How did ya meet her?" Logan questioned.

"Was with Essex," Remy admitted. Logan realized that the kid had given up on lying by now. It was time to get everything out.

"How'd you get mixed up with Sinister?" Logan asked. He had resisted asking the question up to this point, but he now thought that he should have asked it much early.

"Lost control of my powers when I was fifteen," Remy admitted. "My Pere found someone to help with them. The man be Essex, mais I not know anything bout him back then," Remy insisted.

"You were fifteen?" Logan demanded.

"Oui. Jean-Luc, he just wanted to send me away. Wanted to be rid of me, never cared what Essex wanted. Said I could pay da price, and I did. Didn't have nowhere to escape to Logan." His eyes pleaded for understanding.

Remy's explanation deeply disturbed him. What kind of father left his fifteen year old son in a situation like that. Remy's eyes would have given away the fact that he was a mutant before the man adopted him so that couldn't have been the problem. "Why would your Pops do that?" Logan questioned.

"I killed his son," Remy admitted with tear filled eyes. "Was an accident, mais Papa didn't care. I wasn't his blood, Henri was." Remy answered his question in a way that made Logan realize that he had defended himself for the accident many times.

Logan felt his anger at Remy dissipate. The boy had really been trapped by the situation. "I don't think I can help you," Logan admitted.

"That's alright," Remy told him, but they both knew that it wasn't.

"She's a Creed," he repeated.

"Are you gonna stop me?" Remy asked defeated.

"No," Logan informed him. He may not be able to convince himself to help, but he wouldn't stop the kid from doing what he needed to do.

"Merci," Remy said with a forced smile.

The Cajun had really expected him to help. "I can't," he defended again.

"I get it," Remy sighed.

"Do you have a plan?" he questioned. His guilt weighed heavily on his mind. Remy wouldn't have asked for his help unless he thought he needed it.

"Not really," Remy admitted.

"Why'd you have to prove them right Remy?" Logan asked frustrated. "You make me look like an idiot for believing you."

Remy let him leave without defending himself. Logan slammed the door behind him and leaned against it. "They're not right," he heard Remy whisper from inside the room. Logan closed his eyes in frustration and guilt. He knew that he should help, but he wasn't sure if he could.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was the hardest for me to write. Even though I decided it was done, I'm still very nervous about posting it. So please don't be too harsh with your reviews! Thanks, Callie


	33. Chapter 33

_**Remy:_

"They're not right," Remy whispered the words after Logan slammed the door closed. His eyes watered as the only X-Man he had ever asked for help walked away from him. He stood frozen as he hoped that the man would return. He had no right to go after him; Logan had valid reasons to not help him.

"They're not right," Remy insisted again to the empty air of his room. His hands were balled in fists and every muscle in his body was tense. He had spent the last few years of his life trying to prove he was nothing like Sinister and Logan had just forced him to doubt himself. "They can't be right," he whispered as his face hardened in determination.

He knew what he had to do, even if it was the very thing he dreaded. He would have to give in to Sinister and then try to come up with a plan from there. If he came to the man willingly then he'd be allowed certain freedoms that would allow for an eventual escape. It was a stupid plan, but it was all he had.

He looked back down at the photo that Logan had thrown back onto the bed and frowned. He hoped that Essex hadn't approached her yet. However, if he had already taken her then perhaps he'd be able to see her when he returned to the man. A small smile graced his lips at the prospect of seeing Tori again. Even if it was only briefly to trade places with her.

It was then that he heard Logan's door slam and he wondered why it had taken the man that long to cross the hall. He couldn't prevent himself from glancing back up at his door. He had hoped that Logan wouldn't know who Tori was because he had feared this very reaction. He couldn't blame the man for not helping; Victor Creed was his enemy. Still, he couldn't help but think that it wasn't Tori's fault. She didn't choose to be Creed's daughter any more then he had chosen to be an Essex.

It would have been impossible to explain his past to Logan, he hardly understood it himself. The first few years with Essex had been relatively normal. He went to school, he had friends, he dated and married Victoria, he was free to come and go as he pleased. Jean-Luc didn't want him, and Nathaniel Essex had revealed and provided proof that he was his biological father. Remy had never even considered running away until the day of the Massacre. That was when his view on life changed and he made the deal with Sinister.

He picked up the photo of Tori and moved back to the box on his bed. He couldn't remember ever telling Logan about his secret box, but didn't doubt that he had. The box contained his life as Remy Essex LeBeau; a high school diploma, a marriage certificate, and his first driver's permit. Each of which, even now, he had Essex to thank for. He glanced at the old memories that the photographs offered him. Further below were his adoption papers which officially made him a LeBeau, and his Birth Certificate which confirmed he was born an Essex. The box contained and exposed his entire life and he was amazed that Logan hadn't opened it.

He closed the box firmly and moved to his closet to pull out a duffle bag. He put the box into it first then added some clothes and processions that he may need. He was just about done when he heard a knock on the door. He hid the duffle bag beside the bed and moved to answer the door. He forced himself not to expect Logan. He opened the door hesitantly and forced a smile upon his face as Ororo stood in front of him.

"I am going to bed and wondered if you would be joining me tonight," Storm asked him worriedly.

"Non, petite don't think so," Remy replied sadly.

"Did you get a better offer?" she joked.

He forced a smile to appear on his face as he shook his head. "Afraid I not be good company tonight," he replied.

"You are always good company, my friend," she countered.

"I love you Stormy," he had an irresistible urge to tell her in case it was the last time he had the opportunity.

"I love you too Remy. Please tell me what is wrong."

"Nothing for you to worry about," he assured. Remy wasn't going to explain anything to another X-Man, even if it was Storm who was asking. He didn't need to be accused of being a traitor by another friend tonight.

She took another step towards him and wrapped him in a warm embrace, "you can trust me with anything," she assured.

He wished that her statement was true, but Logan had crushed what little confidence Remy had fought hard to regain. He couldn't come up with an answer so he simply kissed her cheek instead.

"Would you like me to stay down here instead?" She asked. Her worry was still very apparent and Remy was at a loss of how to soothe it.

"Stormy, I be fine," he tried to convince her.

"You are not fine," she stated. "What has you so worried?"

"Nothin."

"I had hoped we would no longer allow lies to come between us," she stated regally the way only Ororo could.

He felt guilty, but no less resolved. "I be fine," he reassured again with a sigh.

"Remy. . ."

"You want me to sleep with ya, then I sleep with ya," he yielded. He could stay here one more night he tried to convince himself.

She smiled at him in response as she pulled back from his embrace. "Now was that so hard?" she asked with a light chuckle that forced a smile onto his face.

"Non," he admitted. "Be up in a few minutes," he assured.

"I will come looking for you if you are not," she threatened innocently.

He smiled gently and watched her leave the room. As soon as the door closed behind her he sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. He hadn't been this unsure of himself in years.

He was glad that she hadn't seen the duffle bag that was hidden on the far side of the bed. He wasn't sure how long Logan would be willing to simply let him walk away, but he he no desire to push his luck. He decided that he'd have to slip out before morning, but it would be nice to get a few hours rest before then.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He heard Remy repeat the words and almost convinced himself to reenter the room. He stopped himself; he had to think things through first. He walked across the hall and slammed his door a little louder than he had meant to.

"Damn it!" he swore aloud. He was so angry at Remy for hiding something that important. He wondered what else the kid was hiding, but he was fairly sure he didn't want to know the answer to that. He needed to get away from the kid before he did something that he may regret later. Remy's whispered words haunted him.

He grabbed his wallet off the dresser and patted his pocket to ensure his keys were there. He opened the door and walked down the stairs trying not to catch anyone's attention. The last thing he wanted to do was talk right now.

Of course his plan failed like fate always mandated as he found Scott working on Remy's bike in the garage. Where had the man been earlier when he had wanted to talk to him? "Logan," Scott said his name in greeting.

"I'm going out," he informed the man.

"I wanted to talk to you," Scott insisted.

"Not now," he warned. His tone gave no room for argument and he glared to reinforce the statement. "You can stop building that damn bike," he remarked frustrated.

"What's going on?" Scott asked.

"Nothing," Logan insisted. "See ya later," he added as he sat down on his Harley.

"Logan," he said questioningly as Logan started his bike.

"Not now Cyke, I just gotta get out of here," he insisted again. With that said he sped down the driveway and out on the road. He was too angry to talk to Scott at the moment, so driving away was probably the best idea anyways.

A ride on his bike always calmed him down, and today was no exception. As he arrived at Harry's his anger had reduced drastically. He walked into the bar and sat down at the counter, "I need a beer," he grumbled.

"Hey Logan," Harry greeted him as he set a Canadian beer in front of him. "Where's the kid?" he asked.

"Home," Logan informed him.

"He didn't look so good the other night," Harry pressed to continue the conversation.

"Kid's still adjustin to bein back," Logan felt the need to defend.

"Didn't mean anything by it, just making an observation," Harry replied. "Let me know when you need a new one," he added before moving on to another customer.

Logan turned around in his stool and glanced back at the area where the pool tables were laid out. Remy had been trying so hard that night to trust Logan. He tried not to think about the kid while he watched people in the bar play pool instead. No one at the tables was any good, so the game wasn't interesting enough to keep his attention focused. He scanned the bar several times hoping for something amusing or interesting to watch, but nothing caught his interest.

A few more beers and a new set of players later, Logan's thoughts still remained on Remy. He would never have imagined that Remy had been with Sinister when he was only fifteen. That thought baffled him; at that age Sinister would have been able to mold him into whatever he wanted. Had he? Was the Remy that he had known as an X-Man just an act? No, Logan realized. Somehow Remy must have overcome the man's evil plans, but how?

He had been infuriated by the admission that Remy was married to Creed's daughter. It had to be some sort of sick joke; he hadn't even wasted a thought on Victoria Creed in years. He knew that she had been a killer, a Marauder and then suddenly several years ago she simply disappeared. He had never found it necessary to question why she disappeared; she was never an important part of the Marauders. Just a passing member that he assumed didn't work out. Still she was Victor Creed's daughter. His blood boiled as he remembered how adamantly Remy had insisted that she was Tori LeBeau; as if changing her name changed who she was. He rubbed his forehead with his palm as he realized this situation was giving him a headache despite the healing factor.

"Need another one?" Harry questioned him.

"Huh?" Logan asked as he barely registered Harry's words.

"Another beer?" he asked again.

"No, I'm good," Logan replied.

"What's eatin you?" Harry asked him as he cleaned up the bar around him.

"Nothin I can't handle," he informed Harry.

"Course not," Harry agreed with a hearty laugh.

Logan laid a few bills down on the counter and stood up from the stool. He had wasted enough time here already; it was time to go home. He wasn't in a hurry though; he expected to find Remy gone by the time he got back anyways. He just needed to decide whether he was going to go after the kid or not.

The drive back to the mansion had been more calm then the drive to the bar. He examined the garage upon his return and was surprised that he didn't find any vehicles gone. Maybe Remy hadn't left yet? He had been so convinced that the Cajun would be gone that he hadn't come up with a plan in the event that he wasn't.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the encouraging reviews everyone!


	34. Chapter 34

_**Remy:_

"I thought you would have left by now," Logan stated as Remy turned on the lights in the kitchen. The man's presence startled him, but he quickly tried to hide the fact.

"Stormy asked me to. . ." Remy started to explain before stopping mid-sentence as he realized that his reason didn't matter. He set the duffle bag down on the counter and ran his hand through his hair as he appraised Logan wearily. "Guess I be out of time then," he acknowledged as he looked down at the floor and leaned against the counter.

"Out of time for what?" Logan asked from his seat at the table.

"To leave," Remy admitted.

"I ain't gonna stop you Cajun," Logan disclosed.

His eyes shot up to look at the older man as he asked, "really?"

"What's your plan?" Logan asked as he gestured to the seat across from him.

"What's going on?" Remy asked nervously.

"Sit down and tell me your plan," Logan ordered.

Remy sat down across from Logan, but he was hesitant to start talking. "You ain't gonna like it," he informed Logan.

"I haven't liked anything that you've said today," Logan reminded him.

"Oui," Remy said with a sigh. "Mais it be easier if you just let me go," Remy tried to convince him. He didn't want to tell Logan that he was joining Sinister because he thought the man would live up to his end of their deal. No he most definitively couldn't tell Logan that.

"Probably would be," Logan acknowledged, "you should have left before I decided we needed to talk about it first though."

Remy shook his head in frustration. "What do you want from me?" he asked.

"Rem, I just want to know what you're planning," Logan tried to convince him.

Remy didn't believe him, "If I tell you, then you're just going to stop me."

Logan sighed. "I went to Harry's today," he said as he fidgeted with the unlit cigar that he held in his hands. Remy remained silent because he was too confused about the change in subject to offer a response. Both their eyes seemed to be drawn to the cigar that turned and flipped between Logan's fingers. "It ain't the same without ya kid," he informed Remy and they both looked up.

"I have to go," Remy reminded him.

"I know," Logan acknowledged with a nod of his head. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't got many choices," Remy admitted.

"Stop using that as an excuse," Logan insisted.

"Ain't an excuse when it's the truth," Remy told him. He honestly had very few choices and all of the ones that he had, Logan would have considered stupid.

"Did you choose to marry her or were you forced?" Logan asked.

"Don't matter," Remy countered. "She's my wife, I gotta help her."

"That's not what I asked Rem, are you even listening to me?"

"I chose to marry her," Remy admitted, "ain't ever gonna deny that." He had thought it was his choice to marry her, but soon after she left Victor Creed informed him that the whole romance had been setup in order to control the two of them. It made sense, so he never doubted the truth of that statement.

"There's more to it," Logan stated.

"Oui," Remy agreed with a nod. He wouldn't be explaining anything more to Logan tonight though.

"You have dangerous friends Remy."

"Oui," Remy agreed again. Although he wasn't sure if Logan considered the X-Men part of that list the way that he did.

"Want a beer?" Logan asked lazily as a new topic came to an end.

"Non," Remy replied, "it's four in da morning, coffee maybe." He meant to leave earlier, but he had to wait until Storm was in a deep sleep.

"Did ya tell 'Ro you were leavin?" Logan asked and Remy momentarily wondered how Logan had followed his unspoken train of thoughts.

"Left her a letter," Remy informed him. He hadn't wanted to leave Ororo without saying goodbye, but he didn't want to explain why he had to go either.

"What does it say?" Logan asked curiously.

"Goodbye," Remy replied. The letter truly didn't say much more than that.

"You ever comin back?" Logan's question was asked very seriously as the man appraised him anxiously.

"Non," Remy informed him. Remy didn't believe that Logan would ever want him to return, so he found no reason to lie to the man. Besides, this time he would most likely be stuck with Sinister for good so he might as well accept the inevitable.

Logan sighed again and Remy looked away. "I heard ya," Logan told him.

Remy looked back at him questioningly, "What?" he asked with a shake of his head.

"You said they weren't right Rem," Logan stated. "Convince me," Logan challenged.

"Logan sometimes when ya too close to something, you don't see it," Remy offered. It was how he felt; he had been too involved with Sinister as a teen to see the true horror of his actions until it had been much too late.

"I said convince me kid, not bullshit me," Logan replied angrily.

"Wasn't bullshit Logan," Remy defended. He wasn't sure how to make Logan understand. "I didn't know," he insisted. "Jean-Luc threw me out and Essex took care 'a me," Remy continued. "I been on da streets long enough to know dats a big deal. He treat me good for years so I never considered dat he could be evil." Remy looked away from the older man once again as he doubted his own words. He should have known; he lived with the man for years! But he hadn't known, not until he was forced to face the truth in the dark horrific tunnels.

"Years?" Logan questioned and Remy cringed that he let something like that slip.

"Oui," he admitted as he closed his eyes.

"How many?" Logan asked.

"Five," Remy whispered.

* * *

_**Logan:_

"REMY?" Logan said the name violently. "Five years?" He repeated.

He watched Remy nod his head hesitantly.

"Don't you think you should have told us that?" Logan questioned the boy.

"Non," Remy replied with a furious shake of his head.

"NO?" Logan yelled even though he was trying to restrain himself.

"Didn't have a death wish," Remy informed him.

Logan leaned over the table with a hard glare as he spoke harshly, "X-Men don't kill."

Remy didn't move at all in his seat and his eyes never left Logan's. "Coulda fooled me," he replied with a voice hard as steel.

Logan sat back down feeling dazed. "Sorry Rem," he admitted as he looked down with a frown. He was startled when he looked back up at Remy, the kid's face had hardened with determination and his eyes burned with hatred. Logan was relieved to see the fear and sadness gone, but the emotions that they had been replaced with were dangerous.

"You gonna let me go now?" Remy asked, his tone was threatening rather than questioning and Logan doubted that he would accept no as an answer.

"Not yet," he replied. He wasn't done talking to the kid yet.

Logan watched as Remy stood up from the table angrily and walked over to the counter where he had set his bag. As Remy stood with his back turned to him, Logan watched him carefully. Logan could smell the anger radiating off the Cajun and could only assume that he had walked away in an attempt to calm himself. Several obvious deep breaths later the kid spoke, "you have five more minutes Logan, den I'm done bein patient."

Logan smiled at the confidence that the statement conveyed. It was part of the reason Logan had stalled him; he couldn't let Remy go out expecting defeat because then defeat would surely follow. "When you asked me for help, what did you want me to do?" Logan asked.

Remy turned around slowly and sat back down at the table. "I don't know," he admitted, "just thought I'd have more choices if I had backup."

"Your plan?" Logan asked again. He thought maybe this time Remy would provide an answer.

"Gonna live up to my end of the deal," Remy replied.

"You're going back to him?" Logan questioned angrily.

"Oui," Remy admitted sadly. "It be my only choice Logan," Remy insisted, "don't care if you believe me."

"So you're planning on switching sides then and you want me to just let you walk out knowing that?" Logan asked. He had been very close to letting Remy leave, but now he was suddenly very close to locking the kid up instead.

"It ain't like that," Remy assured him. "Don't know how to explain dis to ya Logan. Not in a way that'll make ya hate it any less." Logan couldn't ignore the wetness that pooled in Remy's eyes. "She's my wife and this is the only way I can save her."

"Maybe she doesn't want saving?" Logan questioned.

Remy slammed his fists down on the table in frustration. "You only see them as monsters, and most of the time dat's okay," he stated. "They're not all monsters Logan, they didn't all volunteer."

"I'm confused as hell kid, you've been fighting them with us for years," Logan countered. "Why the sudden defense?"

"I ain't defending all of them, most of the Marauders are monsters," Remy admitted as he contradicted himself.

"You were never here for the right reasons were you?" Logan questioned.

"Not really," Remy admitted. "Never believed in Xavier's dream, it was too big and I've seen too much."

"I don't always believe in it either," Logan admitted with a barely noticeable nod.

"I think they believe in it enough for all of us," Remy explained.

Logan could only imagine he meant Scott and the Professor, but he didn't feel he needed to question the statement. "I agree," he offered instead.

"I fought for it though," Remy insisted, "best I knew how, I fought for it."

Logan couldn't think of a single moment that he had questioned Remy's loyalty, "I know kid."

"Merci Logan," Remy said with a smile as a tear slipped down his cheek and was quickly wiped away.

"Never thought you were the marryin kind Cajun," Logan teased.

"Dat's cause I already be married," Remy replied with a smirk.

"What'd you have with Rogue then?" Logan questioned. Rogue had been a good friend of his in the past and he was angry to find out that Remy had only been using her.

"We was both lonely," Remy answered. "Couldn't touch her, seemed safe. Didn't mean to get that involved; never thought I'd be an X-Man dat long. I did care about her Logan."

Logan believed him, "you said you had to find Creed," Logan began and Remy glared at him. "Where is she?" he finished his thought despite Remy's look of disapproval.

"She ain't a Creed," he insisted once again as he stood up from the table.

"Fine, your wife, where is she?" Logan questioned as he realized Remy was seconds away from walking out the door.

"Don't know," Remy admitted, "haven't seen her in six years."

"Damn kid," Logan groaned, how many more surprises did Remy have for him?

"Had to keep her safe," Remy told him as he shouldered his duffle bag.

"We ain't done," Logan stated without moving from his seat by the table.

"I be done Logan," Remy informed him as he walked back over to the table and stood in front of Logan.

"Still just turnin yourself in?" Logan questioned.

"Oui," Remy admitted. "Takin Scott's bike," he said with a smirk, "tell 'em he can have mine."

Logan laughed, "will do."

"Goodbye Logan," he said to the man.

"Here," Logan said as he handed Remy a small, square piece of metal with indented buttons on each side of it.

"What's this?" Remy asked confused.

"An emergency tracker," Logan admitted. It was equipment that he used whenever he was sent on a solo mission. "You press both buttons at once and it sends a signal telling us where you are," he explained.

Remy frowned as he examined the object in his hands. "Why ya giving this to me?" he questioned.

"When your stupid plan fails and ya find yourself in trouble, press the buttons and we'll come get ya." Logan told him with a smile.

"You're gonna help me?" Remy asked disbelievingly.

"You're an X-Man Remy, of course we're gonna help you," Logan informed him.

"Merci Logan," he said as he slipped the tracker into his pocket.

"You're welcome kid," Logan replied. "Just remember we can't track ya till ya turn it on."


	35. Chapter 35

__

**Remy:

Remy entered the garage with a hint of a smile on his face as he fingered the tracking device in his pocket. He doubted that he would use it, but the fact that Logan had given it to him made him confident in what he was about to do. The X-Men would come if he needed them; that was enough of a comfort to make him confident in his plan. If Sinister went back on his word, he could always call the X-Men. He repeated those words over and over again in his head.

He drove non-stop for hours before he needed a break. He pulled into the rest area and got off the bike so he could walk around. He threw the duffle bag over his shoulder before making his way inside to order a cup of coffee. He found a payphone and sat across from it as he eyed it sadly. He was far enough from the mansion to call her; Essex could come find him here.

He threw his half finished cup into the garbage on his way to the restroom. Once he called there would be no taking it back, no second guessing himself. He would be a sitting duck until they came for him. He splashed some water on his face and stared sadly at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't want to be the son of Essex anymore. He wanted to be free of the man.

As he walked out of the restroom he didn't allow himself any more time to hesitate before he walked over to the payphone. He forced his hand not to tremble as he raised it to drop a quarter into the slot. He dialed her number without thinking; it was engrained in his very soul.

"Dr. Millings," her voice answered harshly.

His throat was dry and he almost hung up the phone because her tone was colder then he had ever heard her speak.

"Who is this?" She asked angrily.

He didn't want to do this; he didn't want to go back to Essex. He closed his eyes and leaned against the cold wall as he forced himself to speak. "Lilly," he whispered so quietly that he hoped she wasn't able to hear him.

"Remy?" she asked as her tone changed instantly.

"Oui," he admitted as he forced the glittering tears in his eyes to refrain from wetting his cheeks.

"Are you alright?" she questioned sincerely.

"You can come get me," Remy replied.

"Did they hurt you?" she asked worried.

"Non," he admitted. The X-Men hadn't hurt him at all while he had been with them and he was only now able to admit that to himself.

"Where are you?" she asked sadly.

"You can trace da call," he said instead of offering her his location.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Her voice sounded nervous and he almost changed his mind.

"Oui," he informed her. He couldn't back out now he tried to convince himself.

"Remy, he already has her," Lilly warned. "Just stay with the X-Men," she encouraged.

"Non," he said forcefully. "He'll let Tori go if I come," he told her unnecessarily.

"I wish you hadn't called me," she told him and he was startled by the anger behind her words.

"Lilly," he said her name questioningly. He was unsure why she was suddenly mad at him.

"Why do you sacrifice everything for her?" Lilly asked.

"Are you tracing the call?" he asked her instead of answering.

"Yes," she admitted. "Why?"

"Because I love her," he explained.

"She wouldn't do the same for you," she argued.

"You don't know that," he informed her as he doubted the truth of her words. He was frustrated that she chose now of all times to argue with him.

"Go back to the X-Men," she insisted.

"No," he refused. He didn't understand her insistence, in the past she had always encouraged him to return.

"Do you understand what I went through to get you out of here?" she condemned.

"I'm sorry Lilly, I never meant to get you in trouble," he insisted. He couldn't have her mad at him, not now when he was about to go back.

"I won't even be allowed near you now," she informed him.

"I'm not fighting him," he insisted.

"That doesn't matter," she informed him. "He's mad at both of us."

Now more than ever Remy doubted that he would ever escape the man again. "What does that mean?" he asked.

"You know what it means Remy," she sighed. He wanted to ask her for a better answer because he wasn't sure what that meant. He wasn't sure how harsh Essex would be on them and he wanted her to explain. "The trace isn't done yet, you can still hang up the phone," she encouraged before he could speak.

"No," Remy insisted again. As much as he didn't want to go back to the man his conscience wouldn't allow him to walk away.

"Fine," she replied.

"Lilly, you know what Tori means to me," he pleaded for her to understand.

"Don't you think you've protected her long enough?" she questioned.

"Is she alright?" he asked as he avoided her question. If she really wanted an answer he knew that she would ask again.

"I haven't seen her," she stated.

"What? Why?" he asked surprised.

"I'm not allowed to," she informed him.

His worry intensified, "you have access everywhere Lilly, go see her."

"I'm done breaking rules for you Remy," she explained.

"Rules?" he said the word confused, "I'm simply asking you to check on her."

"And I told you, I'm not allowed to do that," she stated intensely.

"Since when are you not allowed somewhere in his labs?" he questioned a little harsher then he meant to.

"Since I planned your escape," she accused harshly. "I'm sorry, I don't blame you," she immediately added as she lightened her tone.

"Lilly," he said her name gently as guilt completely hit him. She had never been mad at him before for anything.

"Someone will be there soon," she informed him.

"Someone?" he questioned. "You're not coming?"

"I warned you Remy," she replied.

He closed his eyes again as he realized that she was right. "Can you stay on the phone?" he asked.

"Sure," she agreed.

* * *

_**Logan:_

He watched Remy walk out the door and frowned. There must have been something more that he could have done to help the kid. He didn't just mean right now, he meant over the last few years. Remy had been an X-Man for four years and only now had Logan found out about his past. Logan realized that only now had he gained the kids full trust.

He hadn't decided until the last minute to give Remy the tracking device but he was sure that it had been the right thing. He hoped that Remy would actually use it if he needed them. He was almost positive that the kid would need them.

He sat staring at the door for a few minutes before he was sure that Remy was really gone. He stood up and made his way up to his room. He had been waiting in the kitchen for a while before Remy finally came down because he hadn't wanted to risk missing the kid.

He laid down on his bed, but couldn't sleep. He was still missing something, he realized. Why would Sinister have sheltered Remy the way the kid claimed? And why did Remy really believe that Sinister would live up to his end of the deal? Logan was sure he was still missing something.

Hours later he still wasn't asleep when he heard someone across the hall. He didn't need to open the door to know who it was. It was an understatement to say that Ororo would be upset when she found out Remy was gone. He sat up and forced himself to dress because he knew she would seek him soon.

Thunder shook the house as a sudden storm settled upon them. She must have found his letter. She would ask him why he let the kid leave, and Logan wasn't sure if he had a good enough reason. He looked out the window and hoped that Remy was outside the reach of the storm.

"Logan," she said his name as her hand frantically knocked on his door.

He opened the door before she became more panicked. He was saddened by the expression of loss on her face. Remy should have talked to her instead of simply leaving. Logan felt bad for not insisting on it, but he had more important things to talk to the kid about.

"He's gone," she said through tears.

"I know," he admitted. There was no reason to hide the fact that he knew already.

"Did you send him away?" she questioned suddenly furious.

"Of course not," he defended instantly.

"But you didn't stop him," she accused, her emotion unchanged.

"I couldn't 'Ro." He didn't know how to make her understand the truth behind the statement without explaining everything that Remy had told him.

"You should have stopped him!" She yelled.

"I know," he admitted, "but short of locking him up, I couldn't."

"Why would he leave? Things were getting better. He was getting better!" she was more hysterical then he had ever seen her.

"He'll be back 'Ro," he said in an effort to try to calm her down.

"How do you know that?" she questioned suspiciously.

"I just do," Logan stated. He didn't want to get her hopes up that Remy would call for their help. He wasn't sure that Remy would actually use the tracking device that he gave him so he didn't want Ororo to know about it. For the time being Remy was on his own.

"We must alert the others," Storm insisted. "He could not have gotten too far."

"No," Logan insisted. "You gotta let the kid do this."

"Do what Logan?" She asked.

"I can't tell ya 'Ro," he insisted.

"If my brother gets hurt I am holding you responsible," she threatened.

He nodded, but didn't offer a further response. There was nothing he could do now; he just had to wait for Remy. Why did he let the kid leave with such a stupid plan?

She stormed away angrily and the weather outside intensified. He looked out after her for several minutes before closing his door. He wondered why he had gotten himself so caught up in the mess.

He skipped breakfast that morning and took out his frustration in the danger room instead. The hologram of Creed seemed to taunt him a little more than it ever had before. He understood why Remy would have hidden the truth from him, but he was still angry about it.

The images surrounding him faded into the cold steel of the danger room and Logan wasn't surprised to find Scott in the control room looking down at him. "The Professor wants to see you," he informed Logan.

Logan wasn't surprised so he didn't argue the request. "I'll be there in fifteen," he informed Scott. Scott nodded before walking away from the window.

He decided to shower and change before he went to see Xavier. He hadn't decided what to tell the man yet, but he hoped that they could have this meeting alone. As he reached the door he appreciated that the Professor allowed him to knock instead of simply beckoning him.

As he entered the office he couldn't bring himself to meet the man's eyes. He sat down in a chair in front of the man's desk and was glad that Scott wasn't present. He sat silently as he waited for Xavier to ask him a question. The man had a right to know where Remy was.

"You know why I called you here," Professor Xavier stated flatly.

"I had to let the kid go," Logan responded. He wanted the Professor to ask because if he simply offered answers it would seem more to Logan like he was betraying Remy's trust.

Xavier looked at him thoughtfully from his position behind his large oak desk. "Ororo is concerned that you forced Remy to leave," Xavier explained, "is that true?"

Logan frowned, "no," he stated firmly. "I just couldn't make him stay," he reaffirmed. Remy had to make this decision himself and he had chosen to go. Perhaps if they had more time to think about it then they could have come up with a better or at least a different plan but Remy had insisted on leaving. Logan was sure that he should have done something different.

"Why did he leave?" Xavier finally asked and Logan wondered why it hadn't been his first question.

"How much do you know about the boy's past?" Logan asked.

"I am afraid I know very little," Xavier answered. "I have spoken with his father numerous times and he provides me with very little insight as well. Jean-Luc seems angry that I continue to update him on Remy's condition. It is most disconcerting."

"He threw the kid out a long time ago," Logan responded.

Xavier raised his eyebrows in surprise, "I was unaware that they had a falling out."

Logan shifted his eyes to the wall behind Xavier, "how much do you want to know?" He questioned cautiously.

"How much has he hidden from us?" Xavier asked in response.


	36. Chapter 36

_**Remy:_

He kept her on the phone while he waited. They didn't talk about anything important, and she didn't reassure him that everything would be alright. The anger from her voice had disappeared and he realized that it had never been anger it all, but rather it had been desperation. Now that she could no longer control the events that would follow, she no longer spoke harshly.

He continued to lean against the wall as he spoke to her quietly. His eyes were constantly scanning the area surrounding him. He tried not to allow his voice to quiver as he spotted the man, "why didn't you tell me he was coming?" he asked her as the man approached him.

"You would have run," she replied sadly.

"Isn't that what you wanted anyways?" he asked.

"It was too late for that Remy," she informed him.

"Hang up the phone," the man ordered as he reached Remy.

"Goodbye Lilly," he whispered sadly.

"Goodbye Remy," she replied.

He hung up the phone slowly and waited for the man's next order.

"I never thought you'd be dumb enough to come back," he stated.

Remy shrugged.

"Do I need to search you?" he asked as he gestured to the bag.

Remy shook his head, but offered the bag to him anyways.

He nodded without reaching for it. "You gonna talk to me?" he asked.

Remy shook his head.

"Let's go then," he stated, "He's waiting outside."

He followed him for several steps before he realized that he did have questions. "Creed," Remy said his name which forced the man to turn around. "Why'd you help Lilly?"

"I wanted Victoria back," the man answered. So it was never about him Remy realized. He was thankful and sickened by the admission, but now he had an answer for Logan should he ever see the man again.

"Is she really back?" he asked. His conversation with Lilly hadn't completely convinced him; although he had no doubts that she truly believed that Essex had Tori she had not seen her and that made Remy suspicious.

"Yeah," Creed replied before turning back around and continuing to walk outside. Unfortunately Remy wasn't convinced by his answer either. He followed Creed without another word and felt like the child that he hadn't been in many years.

He was surprised that Creed led him outside without incident. No fight, no destruction of the rest stop. No, Creed simply walked in front of him silently and Remy followed obediently. Had he not been the one to call, he would have felt this was a trap.

"Welcome back my boy," Essex greeted him just outside the doors.

He didn't speak because there really was nothing that he could have said to make things better at that moment.

"Your silence is unusual," Essex mocked. "Can you not think of anything clever to say?"

Remy shook his head; there was no reason to fight. He was the one who had called. He was the one who had walked into this trap. Regrettably, now he had doubts about whether the man even had Victoria. He felt sick as the stupidity of the situation hit him. He should have heeded Lilly's warning.

Sinister's smile faded when he failed to speak and the response did not go unnoticed by Remy. "Did you search him?" Sinister asked as he turned to Creed.

"Yeah," the man replied and Remy tried to hide the surprise on his face when he heard the man lie.

"Very well," Essex replied with a nod before opening a tesseract and motioning for Creed to enter it. Remy stood still as he watched the man disappear into the portal. "Are you ready to join me, son?" Essex questioned.

Remy bit his bottom lip for a second before he consciously forced himself to project a more confident image. "Oui," he whispered regretfully without looking at the man.

"Your hesitation has not gone unnoticed," Sinister informed him.

Remy nodded knowing that it didn't truly matter.

"Is there anything you would like to say to me?" Essex asked.

The question startled Remy and he wasn't sure what the purpose of it was. He quickly shook his head because he felt words may betray him at the moment. Now was not the time to fight with Essex, he planned on ensuring Tori's freedom before doing anything else.

"Very well," Sinister repeated his earlier words. "Enter," he encouraged as he pointed to the portal.

Remy stepped through and wasn't surprised to find himself surrounded by Marauders. His heart raced as he realized that Sinister would not go easy on him this time. It didn't matter that he came willingly; the man would make him pay for his escape.

Remy's refusal to step closer to the Marauders forced Essex to walk into him as he exited the portal seconds after Remy. He began to stumble forward before Essex pulled him back against his chest. Remy couldn't suppress the need to fight back and Essex released him without a struggle.

He stood still in the middle of the room and awaited an order. He hated feeling so helpless but knew he had gotten himself into the situation. Logan's words repeated in his head and he worried that the man was right, this was a stupid plan. Why did he think Essex would keep his word? Remy wouldn't have hesitated had Logan asked that question a few hours earlier. Essex had never broken an agreement with him before and Remy had thought this time would be no different. Now he wasn't as confident.

"You must understand that you have no advantage here," Essex spoke loudly and Remy realized it was more for show than anything else.

He nodded his head as he held his head high and gazed at the far wall pointedly ignoring the Marauders. He would give them no mind for now because they had not moved to attack him, but he knew they would if given the order.

"Your continued silence will not help your situation," Sinister informed him. Remy wanted to glance back at the man but had no desire to turn his back on Creed and the Marauders so he stood still, eyes still fixed on the wall.

"Leave us!" Essex shouted angrily and the Marauders immediately left the room. Remy didn't move as he watched them leave. He was unsure what Essex wanted him to do because although he had tried not to anger the man, he obviously had failed. "Look at me boy!" he demanded.

Remy turned slowly and looked at him; he tried to keep the defiance that he felt unnoticeable. "I don't know what you want from me," Remy admitted.

* * *

**Logan:

"What do you believe I should know?" Xavier asked instead, completely avoiding his question.

"I think it's none of the team's business," Logan replied.

Xavier looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before speaking. "That is not what I asked," he informed Logan.

"What do you want to know?" Logan asked. He tried to convince himself that Remy knew he would have to explain things to Professor Xavier.

"Where is he?" Professor Xavier questioned.

"I gotta explain some stuff before I answer that," he insisted. Telling Xavier that Remy just ran back to Sinister wouldn't go over very well if he didn't explain why first.

"Alright," Xavier said expectantly.

"I promised the kid that we'd help him," Logan admitted. "I ain't sayin a word if there's a chance you won't help him."

"Of course we will help him Logan. It is insulting that you would think otherwise," Xavier condemned. Logan nodded in acceptance, he had hoped for such a reaction. "Now please explain where he is," Xavier asked calmly.

"He told me that he lost control of his powers when he was a teen." He hesitated momentarily before admitting the next part of the story. "His pops threw him out after he killed his brother," Logan was about to continue when Xavier interrupted.

"He killed his own brother?" the man questioned shocked.

"He said it was an accident and I believe him," Logan replied. Logan had no doubts that it had in fact been an accident.

"He gave no other emergency contact," Xavier defended. "I had no idea that he no longer had a relationship with Jean-Luc."

"You ain't gonna like what happened next," Logan warned. Xavier nodded his head and Logan continued, "his pops found him a Doc." Logan paused. "He ended up with Essex," he forced the words out with disgust. His hatred of Jean-Luc LeBeau, a man who he had never met, intensified as he was forced to say the words.

"He was a teenager," Xavier repeated in disbelief.

"I don't want anyone else knowing," Logan reinforced.

"I think that's best," Xavier agreed. "So it is likely that he was forced to participate in the Morlock Massacre," he spoke his thought aloud.

"I thought we were past that," Logan growled.

"Of course Logan, I hold no ill will towards Remy, but he should have told us years ago." The man's voice was soft as he struggled to justify his admission.

"I told him that too," Logan admitted as he thought back to his conversation with Remy. "Even back then he thought we'd kill him for admitting something like that."

"We would never," Xavier said forcefully only stopping when Logan raised his hand to suggest he pause.

"We almost did," Logan said quietly. He watched as Xavier closed his eyes in realization and shook it very slightly before bringing a hand up to rub his forehead. The exhaustion in his features was starkly evident in that moment and Logan felt that maybe he shouldn't continue.

The silence lasted longer than Logan was comfortable with, but he refused to break it. Instead he continued to sit staring at the wall behind the Professor. His thoughts were random and all revolved around the kid who he had earlier allowed to walk right into a trap. Briefly he thought that maybe locking Remy up while they made up a logical plan would have been a better idea, but the memory of seeing him huddled in the corner of the cell in Sinister's lab dismissed the idea just as quickly. There was nothing else he could have done.

"Logan," the Professor said his name forcing Logan away from his thoughts. He moved his eyes to look at the Professor and waited for the man to continue. "Did Remy return to him?" He questioned.

Logan hadn't expected him to come to the realization so quickly, but knew he eventually would have admitted it anyways. "Yeah, but there's more to it," he defended.

"Of course there is," Xavier replied with a nod.

"The kid's married," he admitted. He was still unsure if he would tell Xavier exactly who Remy was married to, but he knew the girl was vital to his explanation.

Xavier shook his head in disbelief. "He never trusted us at all," the man said sadly and Logan wasn't sure that he realized he had spoken aloud.

"He admitted as much," Logan informed him.

"Sinister knows of her existence?" Xavier questioned.

Logan thought about being vague, but admitted the truth instead. "He was with Sinister when he met her."

"Do we know her?"

Logan couldn't bring himself to meet the man's eyes, "I rather not say."

"Is she a Marauder?"

Logan thought about his options and realized if he said no then it might be a lie. She was not currently a Marauder, but she had been. Where was the line between truth and lie drawn on this particular answer? "Who she is don't matter," he replied.

"I'm unsure I can agree with that statement," Xavier admitted.

Logan shrugged, "it's all I'm tellin ya."

Xavier sat back in acceptance, "did she ask him to return?"

"Naw," Logan replied. "The kid made a deal with Sinister," he began, "don't know a lot about it. He said she'd be safe if he turned himself in. So that's what he's doing."

"I must admit, I am surprised you allowed him to leave," Xavier told him.

"I gave him my emergency tracker," Logan explained.

Xavier smiled. "Now we must wait for him to activate it," he stated hopeful.

"You still okay with helping him?" Logan questioned needing reassurance that explaining things to Xavier wouldn't change anything.

"Of course," Xavier said forcefully.

Logan was relieved to hear the words.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed -Callie


	37. Chapter 37

_**Remy:_

"Remove your shirt," Sinister demanded. Realizing that resisting wouldn't accomplish anything, Remy complied.

"You haven't been taking good care of yourself," Sinister analyzed. Remy looked away from his critical gaze.

"Sit down," he pointed to a lab table a few feet away.

"Non, please," Remy asked as his nerves got the best of him.

Sinister grabbed his chin and force their eyes to meet. "Did it sound like a request?" he demanded.

"No," Remy admitted. "You said if I came. . ." he began but stopped as Essex pushed him towards the table.

"I am not going to hurt you," Essex insisted. "Now sit."

"Where's Tori?" he asked as he sat down on the table without further protest.

"I require blood samples," he said pointedly ignoring Remy's question. "Will you cooperate or should I invite Creed to join us?"

Remy presented his arm without protest. "Where's Tori?" he questioned again. "Did you find her?"

"Of course I found her," he replied as he prepared syringes on the other side of the lab.

"I want to see her," Remy demanded.

"Are you in any position to make that demand?" Essex questioned.

"You said if I. . ." Remy began again only to have Essex cut him off once again.

"I never promised that you would see Victoria again," Essex corrected.

"Mais," Remy protested.

Essex walked towards him angrily and Remy had to restrain himself from charging something in defense. When Essex stood above him Remy forced himself not to flinch as both of his arms were seized by the man. "I assure you that she is currently in this complex, and I will release her only if you prove to me that you will fully cooperate."

"You're lying," Remy said as he trembled involuntarily.

"I have no need to lie," Essex insisted as he released Remy just as quickly as he had grabbed him.

"I just want to see her," Remy still insisted.

"I don't care what you want Remy," Essex informed him.

He brought the syringes over on a small tray and Remy cringed at the sight. "Can't Lilly do that?" he requested.

"No," Essex replied without elaboration. "Give me your arm," he demanded.

Remy knew he could have just taken it, but forcing the issue was probably a test so he gave his arm willingly. "What are you going to do to me?" he asked as he looked away to avoid seeing Essex draw his blood.

"Did the X-Men not offer you nutrition?" the man asked critically.

"I'm never hungry," Remy admitted. He hated that he was so unable to lie to the man and was nervous about what Essex would do about his admission.

"I see," he replied while placing a cotton ball on Remy's arm and adding pressure before taping it in place. Remy watched as Essex picked up the vials of blood and set them on the counter next to the computer on the far side of the room. "Your choices are simple Remy, you will eat what I provide or I shall continually keep you hooked up to IVs. Is that understood?"

Remy nodded, but knew the man wanted a verbal response so he forced a word of confirmation from his lips as well.

"Your room is currently occupied and I want you nowhere near Lillyanna so I have few choices of where to keep you," Essex informed him.

"I'm your prisoner?" Remy questioned. He hadn't expected free reign of the complex, but he didn't think he would be locked up if he returned to the man without a fight.

"What did you believe you would be?" Essex questioned with a laugh. "I already informed you that your hesitation was noted. I cannot trust you, and we both know that."

"Then why am I here?" Remy asked.

Essex shook his head before turning to his computer and ignoring Remy completely. He was unsure of what to do so he simply sat on the table and watched Essex.

"It wasn't Lilly's fault," he voiced when the silence lasted too long. Essex didn't turn to him; he simply continued to set up whatever test he was going to run with Remy's blood. Several minutes went by and Remy tried to think of something else to say.

"You would take on the entire world's guilt if given the chance," the man said without turning to him. He was right, Essex knew him better then he would ever admit and it frightened him. "That is your greatest fault Remy."

"Can I see Lilly?" Remy questioned even though he already knew the answer.

"No," Essex replied. Remy watched the man walk to the center of the room where his duffle bag had ended up. "What is in this bag?" he questioned as he picked it up and placed it upon the table that Remy still sat upon.

"Stuff I couldn't leave with the X-Men," he admitted. He couldn't risk someone learning the rest of the secrets that the box contained.

"If you have any weapons then now is the time to admit it," Essex informed him.

"No weapons," Remy admitted with a shake of his head.

"Good," Essex replied as he unzipped the duffle bag. Remy didn't move to stop him because he had nothing to hide. "You won't need this clothing. You will wear what I provide."

Remy wasn't surprised and he wasn't entirely sure why he had brought them at all. He had been so rushed and nervous that he didn't think everything through carefully enough. He should have listened to Logan and figured out a different plan. When Essex took the box out of his bag Remy focused all his attention on the man. "Can I keep that?" he asked as Essex opened it.

He was disappointed when Essex didn't answer. He watched the man rummage through it in search of anything suspicious. When he failed he set it upon the table and continued to rummage through the duffle bag. "You may keep your cards because you shall be collared soon enough," Sinister informed him. "However, now is the time to relinquish any lock picks or weapons that you have on your person."

Remy shook his head and Essex smiled. "You came here completely unarmed?" Essex questioned.

"Oui," Remy admitted. He couldn't let Essex search him because he had nowhere to hide the tracker and he needed to keep that. It may end up being his only way out.

"I am unsure if I am proud or disappointed in you, child," he informed Remy. "Set any cards you would like on the table and undress," he ordered before turning around and retrieving a set of black sweats.

Remy couldn't help hesitating as he knew there was no way he would be able to conceal the tracker. He set two decks of cards on the table before sliding out of his jeans and into the sweatpants and t-shirt that were provided. He kept his eyes neutral and tried not to garner any extra attention. Essex inspected the cards before giving them back. They both knew that now wasn't the time for Remy to use them.

Sinister kept him within eyesight as he retrieved a power-inhibiting collar from a locked cabinet. "I do not enjoy doing this to you Remy, but you must prove to me that you can be trusted." Remy didn't fight as it was locked into place. He knew he was now completely in the man's hands, and no longer had hope that he would ever escape.

"Follow me," Essex said as he led Remy out of the room.

* * *

_**Logan:_

When Logan made the decision to let Remy go he expected Ororo to be mad at him, and he expected that Xavier would be disappointed in him. What he hadn't expected was Jean's reaction. In retrospect he should have, she had grown very close to Remy the last few weeks. "How could you?" she asked distraught as she found him in the kitchen where he was drowning himself in beer.

"Jeannie," he whispered her name softly as he looked up at her from his seat.

"How could you?" she repeated again as she sat down across from him.

He shrugged and looked away; he was sick of this conversation already.

"Damn it Logan," she exclaimed with an anger that she had never directed at him before.

"Jeannie," he said her name again as he struggled to respond to her onslaught.

"I warned you so that you could stop him!" she continued when he offered no further explanation.

"I. . ." Logan began only to be interrupted.

"Instead you send him away?" she demanded.

"I didn't. . ." Logan tried to explain again only to be cut off once more.

"He's not well Logan," she explained. "He's good at pretending, but he's not healthy enough to be out there fighting alone."

"I know," he admitted sadly as he finished another beer. He knew that, the fact was obvious enough to anyone who looked at the kid. It was a fact he had unfairly overlooked the night before. A fact that now haunted him.

"You know?" she berated. "Well if you know than why isn't he here?" she demanded.

Logan sighed and looked at her intently. He didn't want to start answering just to be cut off again, so he opened a new beer instead.

"Well?" she demanded as her eyes narrowed at him.

"I can talk now?" he asked with a growl that he hadn't meant to direct at her.

She shook her head in anger or frustration; he wasn't sure which, although that didn't really matter anyways. "I want to know what happened," she said demandingly again.

"I ain't gonna keep justifyin this so you listen good," he said as he struggled to keep his tone lighter than his own anger wanted him to. He knew that this was Jeannie he was talking to after all.

She simply nodded for him to continue.

"Kid's got a past just like the rest of us," Logan began. "I ain't gonna stand between him and what he's gotta do."

"He shouldn't be out there alone," Jean reiterated. "We could have helped him if he had simply asked."

Logan closed his eyes as he took another gulp of beer. Remy had asked for help, which in itself was so uncharacteristic that Logan now wished he had simply said yes. "He knows we have his back," he informed her instead of admitting his own mistake.

"How?" she once again demanded. "We don't even know where he is!"

Logan was once again surprised by the depth of her worry. "He'll let us know if he needs help," Logan assured her.

"How is he supposed to do that if he's in trouble?" she asked. "Do you even know where he went?"

"No," Logan admitted, "but I know why."

She shook her head at him again and he felt like he was a child being scolded. "He can't control it," she explained.

"His power?" Logan asked.

"Yes," she admitted. "He can lose control at any time Logan. I know it scares him, that's the only reason he let me help him."

Logan had already guessed that, there were very few things that would have made Remy trust Jean enough to help him. Fear was an obvious enough reason for him to do it. He nodded, "Jeannie I already regret letting him go, but I didn't kick him out."

"Why did he run?" she asked. "I only told you that I thought he was going to do it because I thought that you could stop him." Her anger had tempered at his admission, but her worry seemed to have increased even more.

"I should have stopped him," Logan agreed.

"Why didn't you stop him?" she questioned bitterly.

"I was mad at him," he admitted uneasily, "he finally told me about his past and I got mad at him."He spoke the words as he realized the truth about what had happened the night before.

"What did he tell you?"

"He tells me the truth instead of some bullshit and I tell him I ain't ever gonna help him with that. Why Jeannie? Why didn't I help him?" Her words had finally broken him down and made him realize that it didn't matter in the slightest that Remy was married to a Creed. He wouldn't have been helping her; he would have been helping Remy. "We gotta find him," he admitted.

"How?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"You said he'd let us know if he needed help," she reminded him.

"Yeah. I gave him a tracker, but he has to be the one to activate it," he explained.

"Can't we activate it?" she asked.

"No," he replied with a shake of his head. "It won't send a signal unless he turns it on," he explained. The tracker was designed that way to protect the person who had it; there were some situations that would be made worse if there was a sudden rescue squad running in simply because he had failed to check-in on time. It was a failsafe, a sort of last resort device that Logan had never had to use. Now he was hoping Remy used it long before it was his only option.

"We'll be ready when he does," she assured. It seemed that her anger had all dissolved, but her worry was even stronger.

"What if he can't?" Logan questioned. "I shouldn't have let him go," he admitted as her worry increased his own.

"We'll find him," she assured while moving her hand across the table to take his.


End file.
